Christmas festivities...

margaretclare

If I was forced to eat a big meal at 3 pm and then another one at 4 pm - well, I just couldn't do it.

Nowadays DH and I have our main meal of the day quite late - between 2 and 3 usually - and I find I can't eat another thing after that. 'Tea' as a meal at 4 pm, I couldn't do it. People have different ideas about what they mean by 'tea'.

Pollycat

supermassive wrote: »

Spanner removal! We did it last year. Without a car... and we lived further away. :eek: There was alot of walking the streets in questionable attire. :rotfl:

Really can't stand doing it again, but OH doesn't mind. I might tell him the car broke, my leg broke, and the front door won't open.

It might be me not reading your posts fully, but I've asked you this twice but you don't seem to have answered:

Pollycat wrote: »

Why do you have to go back to your Mum's just because your partner's family go to the pub?
Why can't you stay in the house until they come home?

Pollycat wrote: »

I understand about your brother.

I just don't see why you have to leave your MIL's house because they are going to the pub.
Is it because she doesn't trust you in the house? :rotfl:
Or do you really have to see your brother twice on Christmas Day?

TBH, you seem a lot more laid back about this (imho) manic Christmas Day than the other poster who started a similar themed-thread.

Pollycat

margaretclare wrote: »

If I was forced to eat a big meal at 3 pm and then another one at 4 pm - well, I just couldn't do it.

Nor could I.

margaretclare wrote: »

Nowadays DH and I have our main meal of the day quite late - between 2 and 3 usually - and I find I can't eat another thing after that. 'Tea' as a meal at 4 pm, I couldn't do it. People have different ideas about what they mean by 'tea'.

margaretclare
You are just soooo not invited to our house for Christmas dinner! :rotfl:

Quite late?
Between 2 and 3?

We usually sit down to eat no earlier than 5pm. :eek:

But we do have a breakfast butty and we pop up to see my sister and her kids and then come home and put the meat in (beef or pork, pork this year) and then chill out with a nice bottle of white wine whilst we're opening our presents.

HPoirot

OP, isn't this a schedule you chose yourself? What was the advice that you wanted? Like many others, I fail to see why you would go to each place twice. Why is it so important to see your little brother twice in a day? Don't you see him at other times of the year?

margaretclare

Pollycat wrote: »

Nor could I.

margaretclare
You are just soooo not invited to our house for Christmas dinner! :rotfl:

Quite late?
Between 2 and 3?

We usually sit down to eat no earlier than 5pm. :eek:

But we do have a breakfast butty and we pop up to see my sister and her kids and then come home and put the meat in (beef or pork, pork this year) and then chill out with a nice bottle of white wine whilst we're opening our presents.

Thanks, Pollycat!

I could eat at 5 pm after having a decent breakfast, but that would be it - I couldn't eat another thing.

DH and I normally have a 'special Christmas Day breakfast' of scrambled egg and smoked salmon. That has become our tradition. What we eat later - don't know what it will be this year, we haven't decided.

All our relations are a long way away, none is closer than 180 miles. The phone/skype is a marvellous invention.

We are going to a special meal this Saturday. This week, the 20th, it will be St Edmund's Day. St Edmund, King and Martyr of East Anglia, murdered by the Vikings. We're having a special meal in his memory in an old pub in Ipswich with like-minded friends.

supermassive

HPoirot wrote: »

OP, isn't this a schedule you chose yourself? What was the advice that you wanted? Like many others, I fail to see why you would go to each place twice. Why is it so important to see your little brother twice in a day? Don't you see him at other times of the year?

No. It's (as I've said numerous times) a schedule that other people are creating and wanting us to work around. Because they have children and we don't. And because of MIL being overbaring and needing to stick to weird traditions.

Pollycat:
It feels like a massive waste of time waiting around in her house for 4 or so hours while they're at the pub. It's also not relaxing in the slightest as she's a bit of a mrs bucket... I say a bit... Imagine Mrs Bucket crossed with Kim & Aggie, mixed in a bit with Hillary Devey.:rotfl:

margaretclare

supermassive wrote: »

No. It's (as I've said numerous times) a schedule that other people are creating and wanting us to work around. Because they have children and we don't. And because of MIL being overbaring and needing to stick to weird traditions.

Pollycat:
It feels like a massive waste of time waiting around in her house for 4 or so hours while they're at the pub. It's also not relaxing in the slightest as she's a bit of a mrs bucket... I say a bit... Imagine Mrs Bucket crossed with Kim & Aggie, mixed in a bit with Hillary Devey.:rotfl:

I don't know the people you mention, except for the 'keeping up appearances' woman (does anyone still do that nowadays?) but I would have had to put my foot down with her long ago, overbearing or not. I just couldn't do it. And the pathetic excuse that all the others have children and you haven't - what has that got to do with anything?

Pollycat

supermassive wrote: »

Pollycat:
It feels like a massive waste of time waiting around in her house for 4 or so hours while they're at the pub. It's also not relaxing in the slightest as she's a bit of a mrs bucket... I say a bit... Imagine Mrs Bucket crossed with Kim & Aggie, mixed in a bit with Hillary Devey.:rotfl:

I agree it's a massive waste of time sitting around for 4 hours whilst people are in the pub.

I'd question the quality of food and conversation from a group of relatives who had just spent 4 hours in the pub and then will be coming home to finish preparing Christmas dinner and celebrating the day with people who haven't been to the pub.

When I used to go to my Mum's for Christmas dinner, we all used to pop to the local for a couple of drinks.
Then we used to all muck in and finish off the dinner and serve it.

The more I hear about your Christmas plans, the more awful it sounds to me.

supermassive

margaretclare wrote: »

I don't know the people you mention, except for the 'keeping up appearances' woman (does anyone still do that nowadays?) but I would have had to put my foot down with her long ago, overbearing or not. I just couldn't do it. And the pathetic excuse that all the others have children and you haven't - what has that got to do with anything?

Google is a powerful tool.;)

Pollycat wrote: »

I agree it's a massive waste of time sitting around for 4 hours whilst people are in the pub.

I'd question the quality of food and conversation from a group of relatives who had just spent 4 hours in the pub and then will be coming home to finish preparing Christmas dinner and celebrating the day with people who haven't been to the pub.

When I used to go to my Mum's for Christmas dinner, we all used to pop to the local for a couple of drinks.
Then we used to all muck in and finish off the dinner and serve it.

The more I hear about your Christmas plans, the more awful it sounds to me.

It's pretty questionable that she's asking us to go to her house in the morning anyway if she's just going to go out.

TBagpuss

Op, I think you and your partner need to decide what *you* wnat to do.

It sounds as though you want to be there forr your brother whn he opens his gifts, and to spend time with your dad becaue that's fun, and that your MIL will have a hissy fit iof you don't see her and(presumably) your partner would like to see his mum at Chrsitams?

If so, I would suggest:

- go to Mum in the morning for breakfast and gifts
- to to MIL for a bit - decide when you're happy to be there and stick to it, whether it is saying "We can come from 11-2 / 12-3 / whatever - will you be planning a meal during hat time or should we arragne to eat elsewhere?")
- then go to dad and relax.

Jut because people ant you to go, you don't need to. It is absolutely fine to say "sorry, that won't be possible"

With you own siblings, and subject to your mum/dad being happy with it, you cna say "no, we wont be able to make it to yours, but we will be at Mum's from around 9 til 11, and at dads from 4 onwards, if you are able to come too it would be great to see you.
Same with your partner's family - ell them when you will be at MILs and let them decide whether they come there to see you and MIL, or not.

Or you could say to everyone "we're having an open house on 27th, come and see us!"

Don;t get into arguments with any of them. Just a firm but cheerful "sorry, that won;t be possible". You don;t have to explain, and if people are pushy it may be better not to, as if you start explaining that it will be too much driving, or too stressful, they will argue with you as to why that isn't so. If you just say "sorry, that won't work for us" or "Sorry, that's not going to be possible" and repeat it if they push.

(on a separate note, how exactly does your MIL insist her son's medical letters go to her house? Why doesn't he simply notify the Doctor / hospital of his change of address.