Money Moral Dilemma: Why won't my girlfriend ever pay on our dates?

System

Good job I'm married cause if it was up to me to pay on a date I'd be up the creek without a paddle.... In other words I'm broke.

Still, spose we could spend the evening cuddling on the sofa.:D

Fujiko

Reading these posts I am amazed at how quickly many have been to describe the girl as a gold-digger. Perhaps if he started asking her to subsidise their dates she might think he was a cheap-skate! Of course in my day - that gives my age away! - it was usual for the man to pay, partly because he was likely to be earning two or even more times than me and because that was the way things were done. Life was simple then!

Petaldust

If you're really not man enough to just tell her that it's an issue, the next time you go out for a meal and the bill comes, pick it up and ask "What's half of... (whatever the total is)?" so that she takes the hint. Easy.

marich

Where did the Cypriot thing come from - I did not see it ? Anyway given the Greek/Turkish thing , traditional and all that , and the comfortably off bit then I presume boyo isn't short of a bob or two and she would be a good catch should she choose to flout convention by marrying 'across the line'.

Med tradition , especially for decently-off grown-ups would be either the pragmatic (let's talk openly) or the pantomime that these courtings can become (man impresses , woman swoons) . It looks like that (the panto) is the way this thing is headed .

Why this guy is complaining is beyond me unless his means are actually limited and he's afraid of running out of money before woman runs off with him . I'd be surprised if her male relatives would accede to this relationship - perhaps that's why it has only been three weeks so far . (Where is all this detail from ?) .

I find some of the responses so far so awful - gold-diggers , the money being worth it , let's just get on down . It certainly shows up a lot of poor relationship modes in our own culture !

Good luck to these lovers -they'll need it !

PlymouthMaid

I think she most probably feels that she is onto a good thing. It is a shame that you have let this happen for three weeks already but you had better nip it in the bud. At least if she dumps you then you will know that she only wanted you for your generous wallet. It is lovely to be treated and if a man asks me out then I do like them to pay for the treat first time (though I do offer) but after that it is definitely a case of taking turns or splitting the bill unless they really want to do things which are out of my price range. This is hypothetical really as I haven't actually been on a date in years.

ttoli

marich wrote: »

Where did the Cypriot thing come from - I did not see it ? Anyway given the Greek/Turkish thing , traditional and all that , and the comfortably off bit then I presume boyo isn't short of a bob or two and she would be a good catch should she choose to flout convention by marrying 'across the line'.

Med tradition , especially for decently-off grown-ups would be either the pragmatic (let's talk openly) or the pantomime that these courtings can become (man impresses , woman swoons) . It looks like that (the panto) is the way this thing is headed .

Why this guy is complaining is beyond me unless his means are actually limited and he's afraid of running out of money before woman runs off with him . I'd be surprised if her male relatives would accede to this relationship - perhaps that's why it has only been three weeks so far . (Where is all this detail from ?) .

I find some of the responses so far so awful - gold-diggers , the money being worth it , let's just get on down . It certainly shows up a lot of poor relationship modes in our own culture !

Good luck to these lovers -they'll need it !

The detail is from the Original thread ; https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/5099304

There's nothing about flouting convention , She's a Greek Cypriot and I'm English ( Moved here in 2005 ).

meknowalot-51

A few weeks down the road of this new relationship and you both assume,according to you,to know each others financial status.After a few weeks of dating it could easily be some drinks down the local,or a cosy night in together instead of spending £60 as you put it.I think the problem is you,your scared to ask her to pay in case she leaves.Perhaps she only goes with you because she knows,in her eyes, it's a cheap night out.Tell her you want to stay in as your a bit strapped for cash for a couple of weeks,then pay close attention to her response.She will either join you,which is great,even better offer to pay or she will slowly drift and move on.You have definately got to speak to the woman about all this.If you can't talk to her honestly at this early stage of your relationship then why bother?

alggomas

Simple really.
Find out what kind of night on say Friday or any other day a few days in advance you will be having.
On the day in the morning just say you had to get the car fixed or something and would she mind paying for this evening?
Simple.

duchy

Read the whole thread people ....He's already had "the talk" and they now take turns in paying.

chambta

Bin her off.