Money Moral Dilemma: Why won't my girlfriend ever pay on our dates?

SVW

I think that a woman should always offer to pay her share on a date, and on a first date accept gracefully if the man insists on paying. On subsequent dates the costs should be shared. This would only change if maybe there was a huge disparity in income and the couple always went to very expensive places.
There is still a lot of embarrassment around the subject of money. It may be that the woman in question does not know how to discuss the situation, just as the man does not seem able to discuss it. They should know each other well enough by now for him to say to her that, much as he enjoys her company and loves spending time with her, he would appreciate it if she would contribute financially. She may welcome this and be relieved that he has mentioned it. If she does not perhaps she is not such a lovely lady after all.

heartbreak_star

SVW wrote: »

I think that a woman should always offer to pay her share on a date, and on a first date accept gracefully if the man insists on paying. On subsequent dates the costs should be shared. This would only change if maybe there was a huge disparity in income and the couple always went to very expensive places.
There is still a lot of embarrassment around the subject of money. It may be that the woman in question does not know how to discuss the situation, just as the man does not seem able to discuss it. They should know each other well enough by now for him to say to her that, much as he enjoys her company and loves spending time with her, he would appreciate it if she would contribute financially. She may welcome this and be relieved that he has mentioned it. If she does not perhaps she is not such a lovely lady after all.

Agree with the bit in bold, but would amend to "whoever does the asking" and "the ask-ee" haha!

HBS x

cazpost

I really despair of some of the people who have 'dilemmas' on here. Talk to her !! If you can't have an open,honest discussion about something this important at this stage of the game ,then the relationship is going to come to a sticky end

therisingofthenorth

Just tell her that until she pays her way, you won't be sleeping with her any more.
When she has seen sense, you could start taking her to the early-bird dinner at any Wetherspoon pub - I've found that a great way to impress discerning ladies.

Errata

I'm invited to dinner - the inviter pays for the lot
We agree to have dinner together - split the cost

It really is that simple

duchy

therisingofthenorth wrote: »

Just tell her that until she pays her way, you won't be sleeping with her any more.
When she has seen sense, you could start taking her to the early-bird dinner at any Wetherspoon pub - I've found that a great way to impress discerning ladies.

Do they have Wetherspoons in Cyprus ?
(Where the OP and his lady both live .....for some reason that was missed out when MSE rewrote the original post)

bzd

If it's serious enough to be long term, then whoever gets the best cashback rate on their credit card should be paying for everything (this may vary depending on where your date is each time)! Surely this is the best advice on moneysavingexpert???! ;-)

bzd

Lily-Rose_3

therisingofthenorth wrote: »

Just tell her that until she pays her way, you won't be sleeping with her any more.
When she has seen sense, you could start taking her to the early-bird dinner at any Wetherspoon pub - I've found that a great way to impress discerning ladies.

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

gloriouslyhappy

If the relationship's going anywhere, then take her out on a lovely date, maybe a scrumptious afternoon tea rather than an evening event, and say how much you've enjoyed her company and would like to take it to the next level ie partnership, and then lead in to discussing finances and how to proceed on a more equal basis, both financially and decision-making.

Maybe she's been wanting to bring up the subject but been afraid of stepping on toes? Either way, it's time to say something, or your options are to continue as before, or break it off.

Moireach

duchy wrote: »

Do they have Wetherspoons in Cyprus ?
(Where the OP and his lady both live .....for some reason that was missed out when MSE rewrote the original post)

People on here seem to be pretty ignorant of different cultural backgrounds judging by the "goldigger" type comments. Though to be fair it's not their fault that that aspect was edited out of the original post.
Me and my wife both come from a traditional Christian background in the Western Isles of Scotland and I always paid on dates. It's just seen as courteous. "Ladies first" was the policy in the school canteen and that general courtesy to girls and women is still very much part of life in some parts of rural Britain, although many of you don't seem to be aware of it.