Is she an auntie?

Buzzybee90

I've relayed the general consensus to my friend, she is going to ask her husband to subtly mention it this evening so will update when I've heard.

purpleshoes_2

I think someone would have to have the skin of a rhino to not realise that the way they dealt with this would be hurtful, frazzled with new baby or not. All they had to do was say thank you. It also sets a precedent for years to come, is the girl in question supposed to sign cards with just her name?

Its a pretty big slap in the face to give to someone who has been kind, if that were me, I think it would take quite a bit of getting over, such rudeness and a definite message behind that as far as Im concerned.

pollyanna24

Yes, she is her aunty, but I don't think they meant anything horrible by asking.

What annoys me is that my kids call my ex's friends, uncle and aunty, and I just don't understand why he does this. They have enough real aunts and uncles, and this just confuses the issue. He also has them call his friends' parents, Nanny ..... (whatever their name is) and Grandad ....... (again their name). Again, I don't get this. They have their real nannies and grandads.

The one that really gets me is my ex's gf's parents. My children refer to them as nanny and grandad.

My ex called my cousins my kids' aunty and uncle once and I just thought, No they're not!!! They're their cousins (ok, maybe a few times removed or whatever), so why confuse them?!

lulu_92

pollyanna24 wrote: »

Yes, she is her aunty, but I don't think they meant anything horrible by asking.

What annoys me is that my kids call my ex's friends, uncle and aunty, and I just don't understand why he does this. They have enough real aunts and uncles, and this just confuses the issue. He also has them call his friends' parents, Nanny ..... (whatever their name is) and Grandad ....... (again their name). Again, I don't get this. They have their real nannies and grandads.

The one that really gets me is my ex's gf's parents. My children refer to them as nanny and grandad.

My ex called my cousins my kids' aunty and uncle once and I just thought, No they're not!!! They're their cousins (ok, maybe a few times removed or whatever), so why confuse them?!

If the kids are loved, what's the big deal? I'm sure they will realise who is blood related to them and who isn't at some point..

Faith177

I would say she is most certainly an auntie

I don't buy into this having to be married to be auntie or whatever or even to an extent the having to be a blood relative

OH's best friends from uni are all incredibly close one of them will be a daddy come January to a little girl she is going to have over 8 Uncles and Aunties in total

Northern78

I'd be gutted if I got that kind of response.

When I first met my DH my niece (my brothers daughter) was just coming up to 3. Once we and the family realised this was a long term relationship (couple of years not months) and not a flash in the pan, he (DH) was accepted as part of the family. That included a birthday card from niece to Uncle and Christmas card to Auntie and Uncle. Marriage made him officially her Uncle but he was always known as that way before then.

Like a few others have said I also had the honorary 'auntie and uncle' that were just friends of my parents. Even now when they are mentioned in discussions we still refer to them 'as Auntie X and Uncle X'.

Kimlock

How awful

My sister is about to give birth any time now and she considers my partner (we're not married but been together for a very long time) to be her child's auntie.

It means a lot to my partner as she is an only child so she won't have any blood nieces or nephews herself.

Lily-Rose_3

Faith177 wrote: »

I would say she is most certainly an auntie

I don't buy into this having to be married to be auntie or whatever or even to an extent the having to be a blood relative

Northern78 wrote: »

I'd be gutted if I got that kind of response.

When I first met my DH my niece (my brothers daughter) was just coming up to 3. Once we and the family realised this was a long term relationship (couple of years not months) and not a flash in the pan, he (DH) was accepted as part of the family. That included a birthday card from niece to Uncle and Christmas card to Auntie and Uncle. Marriage made him officially her Uncle but he was always known as that way before then.

jaylee3 wrote: »

Many couples these days do not get married. So if you had a brother who had been with his girlfriend/partner for say 15 years, and they had kids together and had lived together for many years etc; would you never allow your children to call her auntie, because she is not married to your brother?

Seems a bit harsh and mean to never let them be called auntie or uncle, because it excludes that person from the family, because the couple have chosen to not get married.

My cousin has a partner (Dave,) who she is not married to, and she has been with him 12 years and has 2 kids by him, and her brother's 3 kids most definitely class him as their uncle Dave.

And my friend's daughter who is 21, has been with her boyfriend for 11 months, and they are not even living together, (although they went on holiday in August,) and his 2 sisters class her as a sister-in-law already, and his brother's daughter calls her auntie. Maybe some may say it's too soon. But I don't think it is. She has been with him nearly a year, and is becoming part of the family.

I guess people think differently, but I think it's unfair to dismiss someone and treat them differently, because the couple are not married.

Kimlock wrote: »

How awful

My sister is about to give birth any time now and she considers my partner (we're not married but been together for a very long time) to be her child's auntie.

It means a lot to my partner as she is an only child so she won't have any blood nieces or nephews herself.

:T to these 4 posts.

Your families sound very nice - of all 4 of you. That's extended to a number of others on this thread too. I think it's the decent thing to do to accept your brother or sister's partner as family, whether they are married or not.

To blatantly not accept them as part of the family if they they are not married to your blood relative, speaks volumes about you and shows you to be quite petty and a little spiteful imo. But not accepting them if they ARE married to your blood relative is plain nasty.

valk_scot

Buzzybee90 wrote: »

I've relayed the general consensus to my friend, she is going to ask her husband to subtly mention it this evening so will update when I've heard.

Subtle? I think Friend's OH should have got straight on the phone to his brother and said "Do you know how much you've upset *friend's name* by saying that? And you look a right plonker because you've actually got it wrong?"


Grovelling apologies hopefully will be issued at this point with claims of mashed potato post natal brain etc etc.

purpleshoes_2

valk_scot wrote: »

Subtle? I think Friend's OH should have got straight on the phone to his brother and said "Do you know how much you've upset *friend's name* by saying that? And you look a right plonker because you've actually got it wrong?"


Grovelling apologies hopefully will be issued at this point with claims of mashed potato post natal brain etc etc.

Quite, there would be no subtle about it if that had been done to me.

Baby brain wouldn't cut it for me, that was plain mean and spiteful.