Is she an auntie?

lika_86

Well, if it was me their child certainly wouldn't be getting any presents from auntie me any time soon.

I think the issue is trickier if you're not married, ie. at what point do you feel like enough a part of the family to consider yourself 'aunty', but even if unmarried, most children would know their uncle's partner as auntie [X].

Soleil_lune

lika_86 wrote: »

Well, if it was me their child certainly wouldn't be getting any presents from auntie me any time soon.

I think the issue is trickier if you're not married, ie. at what point do you feel like enough a part of the family to consider yourself 'aunty', but even if unmarried, most children would know their uncle's partner as auntie [X].

That doesn't seem fair on the child though Lika

I guess it is a bit more tricky if you're not married, then you would be 'uncle Steve's girlfriend.' But this is not the case here. The OP's friend is married - so her husband's brother's child IS her niece.

As I said, my husband's brother has a step daughter (his wife's child from her first marriage,) and we class her as our niece, and she classes us as her aunt and uncle, and she is not even related to us by blood. So it seems very odd that the BIL and SIL don't class the OP's friend as the baby's auntie.

raven83

I just think it is really hurtful, the "aunty" was obviously really excited about becoming one and they have just dashed that, so ignorant of them, I wouldn't punish the child by not getting them gifts but I certainly wouldn't think much of their parents.

CH27

Buzzybee90 wrote: »

One of my friends brother in law's wife recently gave birth to a little girl. My friend was over the moon for her and her husband (her husband's brother). She sent them a congratulations card from herself and her husband and signed it love auntie *her name* and uncle *his name*.

A couple of days later they called to thank for the card but also were confused why she had written auntie when it was only her husband that was an uncle, as she's no blood related.

She was gutted - anyone else experienced this?

How petty :eek:

j.e.j.

Buzzybee90 wrote: »

A couple of days later they called to thank for the card but also were confused why she had written auntie when it was only her husband that was an uncle, as she's no blood related.

Well if her husband's the baby's uncle doesn't that logically make her the baby's aunt??! What a weird response!

As an aside we used to call our neighbours or our parents' friends 'auntie' or 'uncle' so-and-so, because it was considered rude for a child to just call an adult by their first name.

Soleil_lune

As I said though Buzzy, maybe someone could mention it to them? There is a fairly reasonable chance that they may not have meant any harm or upset. Maybe they genuinely didn't think it through? People think differently, and they may not think of the brother's wife as an auntie to their baby. Bit strange that they wouldn't, (IMO),) as she quite clearly is. But still, not everyone thinks the same. Didn't purpleshoes say that there was a debate about this some time back?

I also class my cousins husband(s) as my cousins too, because they kind of are........

Buzzybee90

Thanks everyone - yes I think it is a misunderstanding as opposed to being deliberately mean. However she says she has seen mum's brother's wife posting statuses about the 'niece' on fb... far as I can see that's the same relation

Yes Soleil, I think she will have to because it will just get more awkward otherwise!

Arthien

I had a similar thing when my nephew was born. I wasn't married to my husband at the time but we were engaged. I posted on FB about being a soppy aunty after my first cuddles with him, and a 'friend' of mine decided to post along the lines of 'aww... although you're not really his aunty are you? Not yet, anyway!'. I honestly felt annoyed at the idea that I was any less of an aunty to my nephew just because I wasn't yet married to his uncle!

I can understand if a marriage occurs later in the child's life, then they may not see the other person as aunt or uncle in the same way, but given that some couples never marry, does that mean that the unmarried relation feels any less of an aunty/uncle to the child? I doubt it very much, and I personally would certainly be even more offended if the child's parents suggested as such if I was a married relation! I hope your friend is ok about it OP, the parents were really thoughtless to say that.

pollypenny

Of course she's an auntie!

Those parents are miserable and ungrateful.

onlyroz

I've always viewed the daughters of my sister-in-law as my nieces even though they were big strapping lasses when we first met.