Is she an auntie?

meritaten

I was very happy to call OHs parents Mam and Dad when we got married. But then, that is just how they treated me - as if I were their daughter. it is also the 'norm' here in the valleys. My own SIL and DILs just call me Carol though - and that is fine too. we should do what we feel comfortable with.

Flossie.

Billie-S wrote: »

Hmmm, I have never called my husband's mother 'mum;' I have one mother and that is it. I always find this strange when someone calls their mother in law 'mum' (or their father in law 'dad.')

I am very sorry you had an unhappy family life as a child. I hope you're OK (ish) now.

Same here. I do know a couple of people who call their MIL mum, but most people I know (me included,) call their MIL by their first name.

FatVonD

I call my inlaws by their Christian names but my SIL calls them mum and dad, it's frikkin' weird!!

FatVonD

As an aside (and because I can't sleep!) I've noticed that people with siblings, when they are talking about their parents to whoever will say 'mum said this, dad did that' etc whereas I, as an only child, would always preface it with 'my' as in, 'my mum said this, my dad did that'. I guess it comes from never having shared them so never having had a common 'mum' and 'dad' when talking about them with anyone.

My cousin calls my mum 'mum' but she's the one that that was after borrowing £1,000 from her within a week of my dad's funeral so I think I know what her motives are :rotfl:

Solarjunkie

I'd never thought of this before, but I suppose there are 2 sorts of auntie, the actual and the honourary. In our family too we have always taken only blood relatives to be actual aunts or uncles - but always called their spouses uncle and aunt anyway! Judging by many other posts, that makes us weird, but as far as I'm concerned I have had 4 aunts and 4 uncles all my life.

Crabapple

My MIL said I could call her mum if I wanted. It feels weird so I don't! I do like her, but she's not my mum! Most of the time I refer to her as Granny anyway because that's what she is to my children.

I had loads of uncles and aunts growing up. I became aware over the years who they actually were - other family members and friends of my parents - and moved to just calling them by their names. I still have one auntie, who is genuinely my aunt .

To my children a lot of people have been introduced as auntie and uncle, and again it's those who actually are, including their other halves, plus close friends and some other family (like my husband's cousins).

74jax

FatVonD wrote: »

As an aside (and because I can't sleep!) I've noticed that people with siblings, when they are talking about their parents to whoever will say 'mum said this, dad did that' etc whereas I, as an only child, would always preface it with 'my' as in, 'my mum said this, my dad did that'. I guess it comes from never having shared them so never having had a common 'mum' and 'dad' when talking about them with anyone.
:

When talking to my brother I always say mum and dad. Brother says my mum and dad. We often laugh why doesn't he say our mum and dad but he just doesn't.

Soleil_lune

Flossie. wrote: »

Same here. I do know a couple of people who call their MIL mum, but most people I know (me included,) call their MIL by their first name.

FatVonD wrote: »

I call my inlaws by their Christian names but my SIL calls them mum and dad, it's frikkin' weird!!

Crabapple wrote: »

My MIL said I could call her mum if I wanted. It feels weird so I don't! I do like her, but she's not my mum! Most of the time I refer to her as Granny anyway because that's what she is to my children.

Have to agree with these posts. Why would anyone call someone who isn't their mother or father, 'mum' or 'dad?' :huh: Is it a generational thing? A regional thing? What?

I would never call my MIL and FIL mum and dad. I have a mum and dad. Similarly, my husband doesn't call my parents mum and dad either.

I find it very strange.

gettingtheresometime

FatVonD wrote: »

As an aside (and because I can't sleep!) I've noticed that people with siblings, when they are talking about their parents to whoever will say 'mum said this, dad did that' etc whereas I, as an only child, would always preface it with 'my' as in, 'my mum said this, my dad did that'. I guess it comes from never having shared them so never having had a common 'mum' and 'dad' when talking about them with anyone.

that's strange as I've always referred to my mum, when talking to people - even non family members - as our mum.......

Carmina-Piranha_2

I suppose I would MIL or FIL's birthday or christmas cards, and they say 'to mum', etc. but then I'm just adding my name after my husband's name. I like them, but I wouldn't call them mum or dad, I call them by their christian names.

As for Aunt, etc. we have a large and varied family, and generally I take my cue from the child's parents as to whether I am an aunt or not. My step-brother's children call me aunt and they refer to my children as their cousins, but my brother's girlfriend's children don't call me aunt (he is not their dad, so I'm not a blood relative). We have a good relationship and the children act like cousins, so it's not a case of not being 'accepted'.

I don't know whether marriage is a factor, or if it depends on whether you were 'aunt' when the child was born, or you came along later on. But in OP's case she actually IS aunt, so she was right to question it. If technically she wasn't an aunt, then I'd say let the child's parents decide.