Am I right to be offended?

shegirl

Nicki wrote: »

I think they are both at fault sorry.

The OP served up a meal which her husband didn't like and after eating some of it , he put down his cutlery and said "sorry I don't like this" to explain why he wasn't finishing it in a household where the expectation apparently is that you must clean your plate.

In what kind of home or marriage is this not acceptable behaviour? It was a perfectly normal sane and polite thing to do!

What then happened though was OP put her head in her hands and made a fuss about it, and her husband lost his temper and snapped at her. What he said was not acceptable but nor was her passive aggressive response and attempt to control his behaviour. And as for the argument that she did this because he was setting a bad example to the children, well they are 14 and 16! If they don't eat their vegetables by now, then that ship has long since sailed. The fact that 3 out of 5 of those around the table abandoned the meal does tend to suggest it wasn't that nice by the way!

I agree with this.


He only reacted with the comment because the OP turned drama queen and made a fuss of it which, by the way, would've put the kids right off their meals anyway. The OPs husband was perfectly polite to start with, it was her over the top and unnecessary reaction that made him comment further. She has no right to complain about his comment putting the kids off or using it infront of them when her behaviour was equally as childish,shouldn't have been done infront of the kids and started the whole 'problem' in the first place

duchy

Homeownertobe wrote: »

Not the issue but I'm hugely offended at the notion of someone calling processed nonsense (Mr Ben's) cooking from scratch.

If you had cooked from scratch then fair enough, be offended, but throwing some stuff in the microwave isn't cooking from scratch.

Whoosh

Point missed by several miles

Old stylers put whether it came out of a packet versus whether you grew in in your own paddy field above basic manners perhaps ?
Pity the ones I've met before seemed quite nice

Kim_kim

shegirl wrote: »

I agree with this.


He only reacted with the comment because the OP turned drama queen and made a fuss of it which, by the way, would've put the kids right off their meals anyway. The OPs husband was perfectly polite to start with, it was her over the top and unnecessary reaction that made him comment further. She has no right to complain about his comment putting the kids off or using it infront of them when her behaviour was equally as childish,shouldn't have been done infront of the kids and started the whole 'problem' in the first place

There are ways & ways to say something.
My guess is the first comment wasn't that polite, or maybe he's a pain in the bum to cook for?
Because putting your head in your hands to me smacks of "here we go again.....".
Plus calling it !!!! because the op put her head in her hands is hardly a normal response!
Op - stop cooking for all three of them, they are old enough not to starve themselves cook for yourself & your young daughter & let them please themselves.

cbrown372

My Mum once decided to cook chicken in a white sauce which none of us particularly liked and the remains were put down for the dog. (no waste)

An hour later while watching tv the dog came through and was sick all over the place, Dad quietly said "see even the dog didn't like it"

Oh how we laughed about that chicken dish for years :rotfl:

DavidF

Me- Cutlery down "Sorry darling I am not feeling so good just now I will finish this later"
Then in private when kids are in bed "Sorry love the reason I left my dinner is I just don't like that flavour/kind/style/whatever of meal....But I absolutely love your chicken casserole can we have that tomorrow please ? "
A funny story too add told to me by my father.
Son NEVER tell your wife that you LOVE a certain thing to eat.
Me - Why ever not dad ?
Him - I told your mother I loved steamed sausage in his sandwiches for his work (He worked in the steel works). He said he has that bloody steamed sausage every day for about 15 years before he garnered the courage to ask for something different......They both laughed about that for many years afterwords lol. Apparently he used to swap at work rather than upset my mum who he knew was doing the steamed sausage especially for him lol. Funny enough he still wont eat steamed sausage any more and he is now 81 and this all happened 50 years + ago. I suppose he was at the other end of the scale from the OP's hubby.
As for the kids - Well when I was young you ate what was on the plate or went bloody hungry and were grounded (Fate worse than death when I was a kid as we all played outside).

FatVonD

My own DH is a fussy eater so I get the face palm if this was just another in a series of meals he wouldn't eat though I'd probably just have rolled my eyes instead.

He wouldn't dare to call it !!!!!! but he'd probably say 'you wouldn't like it if I dished up something you didn't like' (though many a time he has but frankly, if it saves me cooking myself I'm more than grateful to eat whatever's put on my plate!)

If he continued to moan he'd be told to sort out his own dinner next time, or if he said later he was hungry, my attitude would be 'tough, you should have eaten your dinner then'. Seriously, what could possibly have gone wrong with some pan-fried chicken and veggies in a spice mix?

For him to still be sulking about it three days later is ridiculous and no way would he get an apology from me for *him* offending *me*!

Nicki

There are lots of reasons why someone would struggle with chicken in a spice mix!

How about the spice mix was too hot for their taste. I'm not a fussy eater at all and I like mild-medium spicy food but I physically could not finish a dish that was spicier than that and everyone has their own tolerance for heat. OP served her Mexican chicken with spicy rice, so there was only the garlic bread on the plate to temper the heat.

The other thing which would spoil a dish like that for me would be if an artificial bake in the bag type mix was used on the chicken and veg. That I would eat to be polite but I would hate it because to me these have very chemically artificial undertones which taint the food.

The husband didn't refuse to eat any of the food. OP said he was about halfway through the meal before he balked so it sounds like he did try his best and she knew before she served it up that he didn't like it. Maybe he was feeling off colour and couldn't stomach more of something which he wasn't enjoying anyway? He and the boys were clearly struggling with it because they had only managed half by the time the OP and the daughter had virtually finished theirs.

Next time maybe OP could only use the spice mix on the food for her and her daughter and the boys could just have plain chicken and vegetables and garlic bread? Not any extra work but everyone would like what was being served up.

Marisco

Maybe if the op had replied to his "I don't like this" with "don't eat it then, leave it", instead of the dramatics, then this ongoing argument could have been avoided. Unless there is something else going on here that we are not privy to.

FBaby

In what kind of home or marriage is this not acceptable behaviour? It was a perfectly normal sane and polite thing to do!

Really? In my household, my OH is more likely to cook for me than the other way round. I would either finish the meal if I just didn't like much and then say later that if he didn't mind, I wasn't that keen on it so it was ok if he didn't cook it again.

If I really hated it that I couldn't finish it, it would go something like this 'sorry darling, I know you took the time to cook and I do appreciate it, it just that I really don't like this meal and can't eat anymore, sorry'. It's often the little words around the main message that count the most.

Homeownertobe

duchy wrote: »

Whoosh

Point missed by several miles

Old stylers put whether it came out of a packet versus whether you grew in in your own paddy field above basic manners perhaps ?
Pity the ones I've met before seemed quite nice

"Not the issue but..."

Something was definitely missed.;)