Am I right to be offended?

Kim_kim

Homeownertobe wrote: »

Not the issue but I'm hugely offended at the notion of someone calling processed nonsense (Mr Ben's) cooking from scratch.

If you had cooked from scratch then fair enough, be offended, but throwing some stuff in the microwave isn't cooking from scratch.

Using a pouch of ready cooked rice as a side dish does not make a home cooked meal processed nonsense.

redpete

Right to be offended? Yes.

Because of his initial comments and reaction to the food and because of his sulking since. He is being a !!!!!!.

redpete

Homeownertobe wrote: »

Not the issue but I'm hugely offended at the notion of someone calling processed nonsense (Mr Ben's) cooking from scratch.

If you had cooked from scratch then fair enough, be offended, but throwing some stuff in the microwave isn't cooking from scratch.

A ridiculous over-reaction almost as bad as the husband's. It was only the rice that was Uncle Ben's - the chicken was cooked 'properly'.

Vikipollard

Gingernutty wrote: »

I'm with the majority here. He's a knob.

You've cooked the meal before, presumably without comment, they know that you don't like wasting food and then they do that.

And yes, by saying "well, if I served you up with a plate of sh*t, I wouldn't expect you to like it", he's telling you, in a round about way that !!!!!!'s the equivalent of what you've cooked for him.

And now he's sulking because he says you're being unreasonable.

Stop cooking for him/them. The boys are clearly taking their cue from their father.

Just this x 1000


OP I'm firmly in the he'd be wearing it for being so obnoxiously rude camp. It's ok not to like something, but when you KNOW your kids are faddy eaters, simply putting his cutlery down would have been enough until they had finished eating. It did give them carte blanche to stop.


The face palming might have been slightly melodramatic, but I can understand the reaction. His subsequent reaction says it all - ridiculously defensive and turning to abuse to try to justify it.


I'd just cook for you and DD. That way he always gets food he doesn't deem to be !!!!!! and DSx2 will able to follow his shining example. He also has to get off his backside and do some cooking.


Like you, I was brought up (properly) to appreciate the effort someone had gone to, to cook me a meal. Also, to clear my plate or there would be no pudding, as we had little money and Mum hated waste. My kids have been brought up that way and are respectful, well adjusted and will at least try everything. If they really don't like something, they will simply eat round it and make a polite comment after everyone has finished. Like an adult should.


Should you apologise? Not while there's breath in your body.

onlyroz

Kim_kim wrote: »

Using a pouch of ready cooked rice as a side dish does not make a home cooked meal processed nonsense.

Condemn me now because I use rice pouches alongside an otherwise home-cooked meal.

gettingtheresometime

Nicki wrote: »

I think they are both at fault sorry.

The OP served up a meal which her husband didn't like and after eating some of it , he put down his cutlery and said "sorry I don't like this" to explain why he wasn't finishing it in a household where the expectation apparently is that you must clean your plate.

In what kind of home or marriage is this not acceptable behaviour? It was a perfectly normal sane and polite thing to do!

What then happened though was OP put her head in her hands and made a fuss about it, and her husband lost his temper and snapped at her. What he said was not acceptable but nor was her passive aggressive response and attempt to control his behaviour. And as for the argument that she did this because he was setting a bad example to the children, well they are 14 and 16! If they don't eat their vegetables by now, then that ship has long since sailed. The fact that 3 out of 5 of those around the table abandoned the meal does tend to suggest it wasn't that nice by the way!

This in spades.

As I agree both parties have contributed to the situation both should apologise but I wonder if its a case of the OP realising that and is holding out for her OH to be the first to apologise?

Kim_kim

onlyroz wrote: »

Condemn me now because I use rice pouches alongside an otherwise home-cooked meal.

They are brilliant if you're throwing a slab of meat on the Georgie & want a quick fix that doesn't take any time & create a mess.
Or if you're ordering a takeaway & use the rice pouches to pad it out.

Georgiegirl256

I guess I must be very much in the minority here, because while I agree the husband should have been more diplomatic and not have said what he said in front of the kids (especially the sh*t comment), I really do think the OP is overreacting here.

Like I said previously, I'm one who hates waste and was always brought up to clean my plate. Whereas my husband was brought up in the way that if you are not really enjoying something then why force feed it down yourself, or if you're full then just eat as much as you can manage.

Also, the kids are teenagers, and I'm pretty sure that if they had been enjoying it anyhow (which they can't have been) then they would have wolfed it down regardless and asked for seconds if there was any! It seems to be a meal that the OP likes a lot more than the rest of the family do.

There are a lot bigger things to stress about....ALOT bigger things, so to still be not talking over a falling out chicken breast and a pack of rice 3 days later is childish to the extreme, and it seems like there are bigger issues to deal with than that.

Georgiegirl256

onlyroz wrote: »

Condemn me now because I use rice pouches alongside an otherwise home-cooked meal.

Me too, we love Uncle Bens mushroom rice!

Georgiegirl256

Nicki wrote: »

I think they are both at fault sorry.

The OP served up a meal which her husband didn't like and after eating some of it , he put down his cutlery and said "sorry I don't like this" to explain why he wasn't finishing it in a household where the expectation apparently is that you must clean your plate.

In what kind of home or marriage is this not acceptable behaviour? It was a perfectly normal sane and polite thing to do!

What then happened though was OP put her head in her hands and made a fuss about it, and her husband lost his temper and snapped at her. What he said was not acceptable but nor was her passive aggressive response and attempt to control his behaviour. And as for the argument that she did this because he was setting a bad example to the children, well they are 14 and 16! If they don't eat their vegetables by now, then that ship has long since sailed. The fact that 3 out of 5 of those around the table abandoned the meal does tend to suggest it wasn't that nice by the way!

Exactly this. :T