Am I right to be offended?

Buzzybee90

MissOptimistic wrote: »

It was probably the 3rd time I had cooked this meal, and whilst I knew it wasn't a favourite meal, I didn't think it was disliked. Hubby is quite fussy with food as are the boys. There was nothing wrong with how it was cooked, he just wasn't keen on it. Sons are 14 & 16, but also a daughter aged 8 (who had already cleared her plate) she is like me & will eat almost anything.

In that cause he should have said something earlier! Why let you go to the trouble if he knew he didn't like it, unless you love it?

MissOptimistic

Hmm me apologise for misunderstanding him? Whilst I agree its not worth falling out over, I'm not the one sulking. I am quite happy to move on, I just think that my emotions are legitimate & if I have been offended, then only I can decide that. Even after he has 'explained' himself, it hasn't cleared anything up, I still find it disrespectful, but he is insisting that I admit I am wrong.

j.e.j.

Auntie-Dolly wrote: »

He didn't say it was !!!!, he said he didn't like it which is fair enough. He said if he cooked a plate of !!!! he wouldn't expect her to like it. Get some perspective - is it really worth a 3 day row over? Go and give him a cuddle and apologise for misunderstanding him.

..and maybe don't cook mexican again for a while :rotfl:

The thing is, if someone's a fussy eater, you can end up eating the same half-dozen meals on rotation, which isn't fair on the rest of the family.

I have to say though, if I'd cooked them a meal and him and two boys decided to throw a diva strop and not eat it, they could go round the take-away!

globalds

Your husband is stupid ..

In the book of rules ...Very close to the top is one that says

Never upset the chef ..As you never know what might end up in the next meal you eat

peachyprice

MissOptimistic wrote: »

Hmm me apologise for misunderstanding him? Whilst I agree its not worth falling out over, I'm not the one sulking. I am quite happy to move on, I just think that my emotions are legitimate & if I have been offended, then only I can decide that. Even after he has 'explained' himself, it hasn't cleared anything up, I still find it disrespectful, but he is insisting that I admit I am wrong.

Have you apologised for the head hanging over-reaction that started the whole disagreement off?

DevCoder

He compared it to a plate of !!!! with his comment "well if I served you a plate of !!!!...".

I don't see the OP should be apologising, maybe the OP had a busy day, had spent a good deal of time cooking the meal for scratch only to feel that their efforts were being thrown back in their face.

My wife and myself share the cooking, we don't always like what each other cooks (although for the majority we do), but I don't think I have ever criticised her cooking openly (we are both foodies (not the posh type), so experiment quite a bit which can always have its downsides). We tend to be critical of our own cooking.

There is always a "thank you" after dinner to show appreciation for the effort that someone has put into making something.

Like the OP, I was taught to eat what was put in front of me and appreciate the effort that someone had gone to, even if it wasn't the best food ever cooked.

So yes, slight overreaction from the OP in my opinion, but I can understand it given the circumstances.

Maybe encourage the OH to also cook and then both parties can discuss what they both like and dislike.

DevCoder

PrettyKittyKat wrote: »

I would have been extremely offended and upset!


I cook all the meals in our house and I am currently trying out lots of different meals. We always ask each other how the meal is (just habit I suppose!) and he will say honestly if he isn't too keen, he will eat it but say 'it was ok but not really to my tastes' so I know not to make it for him again!


On one occasion he left the chicken I had done in a crumb topping. When I asked if it was ok and why had he left it he said he didn't like it. No offensive language just a statement that it wasn't for him. I apologised and he said 'Don't be daft we have to try new things, the veg and chips are lovely!'.


The way in which he told you, and infront of the children, was inappropriate.

I must be going daft because this is how it should be, appreciation of someone else putting in the effort to cook something which isn't out of a packet (not that there isn't anything wrong with that at times!).

Do encourage your OH to cook if possible, theres no such thing as a bad cook, and actually you both learn off each other as to what you like.

It does sound like a communication issue regarding the OP, especially as its now D3 and he is still sulking and there hasn't been any meaningful discussion about it (if I read it right).

Gloomendoom

I would have been offended too.

I have a rule that, unless i have paid for it, I don't criticise any meal that has been cooked for me... no matter how awful it is or who served it up.

Luckilly, I am a human dustbin so it isn't usually a problem. On the two occasions my wife has cooked something horrible, I have eaten it but gently let her know afterwards that I wasn't too keen on it.

She knows me well enough to know that if I've mentioned it, it must be pretty dire.

balletshoes

*max* wrote: »

It isn't simply childish, it's deliberately mean and nasty. The fact he said "a plate of !!!!!!" instead of say, "a plate of *insert food OP dislikes*" was intentionally offensive. I don't know how anyone could say that sentence without meaning to be rude and hurtful.

i would have found that term really offensive from my OH, wouldn't mind at all if I'd cooked something and he didn't like and said so, but to then say "well if I served you a plate of sh*t you wouldn't like it" would have really hurt and offended me, because theres just no need for that, surely? If I had misunderstood that comment like the OH's OP thinks she has done, I'm not sure I'd feel that I should apologise for misunderstanding, because I'd struggle to believe that I had misunderstood.

Georgiegirl256

IMO, you totally overreacted. The whole head in the hands thing was what started it all off tbh.

I'm not saying your husband is totally blame free, he shouldn't have swore for a kick off, but if someone doesn't really like something then it isn't fair to expect them to eat it. You say it isn't really a favourite meal, so why make it again?

If I've made something and people aren't that keen, then I won't make it again, as I don't like waste either. I'm like you, I nearly always clean my plate, but you can't always expect everyone else to.

By putting your head in your hands shows you took his saying he didn't like it very much as a slight on your cooking, thus overreacting.

For an argument as small as this to still be going on after 2-3 days is very childish on both your parts.