Am I right to be offended?

lulu_92

sulphate wrote: »

Why isn't he working now?

Someone who is at home all the time without pre-school age children to look after should be doing the lion's share of the housework. That includes cooking.

As for all this "I don't know how to cook" rubbish, the only skill you need to be able to cook is the ability to read a recipe.

Oh I agree with this entirely.

I work 9-5.30 with an hour commute each side. OH and I get Tuesday and Wednesday evenings off together (he is off on Tuesdays and works until 4pm on Wednesdays and works a 10 min walk from home) and on Saturdays he is normally at the football so comes home and suggests takeaway.

He made a passing comment the other day implying that I don't cook because I don't know how. This made me want to prove to him that I can actually cook and so far it's working!

Maybe that will appeal to his stubbornness?

Georgiegirl256

MissOptimistic wrote: »

OH got a job in May 2012, unfortunately this was away from home, so whilst the money was good, once board & logdings costs were taken into account, it ended up pretty average. He did this job for a year before packing it in in May 2013 & he hasn't worked since. That is not to say he doesn't contribute at all, we have rental income (from a house jointly owned) and he sees to all the repairs & maintenance on that which is high as its a student let, but still not quite the same as working full time IMHO.
I had to laugh at one of the posts that said I was attempting to control him by putting my head in my hands as it is very much the other way round, OH is very controlling and there are many things that don't go down well with him. Whilst it will seem I am still stuck in the same situation as 3 years ago, I have made positive steps to improve my own life & OH is finally realising that maybe there is a possibility that I could leave him. He is just very good at making me feel like I am the one at fault all the time & I wanted to make sure I wasn't going crazy, which is sometimes how I feel!

Who does all the housework at home though? Does that fall down to you as well? Or does he pull his weight that way?

cbrown372

So really its nothing to do with a spicy meal and being offended?

aileth

Saying it in that way and acting like a child is rude and ungrateful. There are no two ways about it. There is no need to act like that if you don't like tea.

I've tried out different recipes on OH and will always ask him what he thinks. If he says, "I wasn't too fond of it", or, "I don't like -insert food item- in this dish", or, "Don't think it's for me, really sorry", then I'll either not make it again or alter it on his suggestions.

There is absolutely no reason to act like that, especially when someone has gone to the effort of cooking for you, and by the looks of it taking care of a manchild as well.

Politeness is free!

victory

MissOptimistic wrote: »

OH got a job in May 2012, unfortunately this was away from home, so whilst the money was good, once board & logdings costs were taken into account, it ended up pretty average. He did this job for a year before packing it in in May 2013 & he hasn't worked since. That is not to say he doesn't contribute at all, we have rental income (from a house jointly owned) and he sees to all the repairs & maintenance on that which is high as its a student let, but still not quite the same as working full time IMHO.
I had to laugh at one of the posts that said I was attempting to control him by putting my head in my hands as it is very much the other way round, OH is very controlling and there are many things that don't go down well with him. Whilst it will seem I am still stuck in the same situation as 3 years ago, I have made positive steps to improve my own life & OH is finally realising that maybe there is a possibility that I could leave him. He is just very good at making me feel like I am the one at fault all the time & I wanted to make sure I wasn't going crazy, which is sometimes how I feel!

What positive steps have you taken?

Why has he not worked since May 2013?

Surely it does not take all day every day to attend to the rental property (students or no students!) can he not work part time? Nights?

Why does he do nothing around the house any day?

What has changed in the last 3 years? Can you see it better in another 3 years? Will you ever be 50/50?