Am I right to be offended?

PenguinOfDeath

balletshoes wrote: »

I really really don't enjoy my OH coming food shopping with me, and I'm really really glad he tends not to - as he fills the trolley with enough food for 12 for a month (there are 3 of us in the house), without once considering where we're going to put it all!

:rotfl: Oh, he lives with you too, does he?

Vicky123

shegirl wrote: »

Until he complained or until they could see their mothers over reaction?


If it was as he said he didn't like it (and there is no chance of the kids thinking 'here we go, mum is going to turn dramalama again') perhaps it's because they were suffering it, really didn't want to and felt relieved when their dad said something? Considering they were half way through when their mother and little sister had cleared their plates I would guess that they were suffering it!

Good grief, less than perfect meal becomes suffering, we would have had the sharp edge of my mothers tongue, it's home cooking for heaven's sake,win some, lose some, they should show some respect.

jayII

shegirl wrote: »

What if it's someone who has spent the day grinding away at work to earn the money that you then buy the food with? Or is that not considered a 'contribution'?

If, like the OP, you've been grinding away at work to earn money to buy the food, and then come home and made the effort to cook, then the people you cook for should be grateful for your efforts! Not liking a meal is one thing, but being disrespectful and rude about it is just not on!


She may have put her head in her hands because she was tired, stressed and needed a minute to calm down before she responded to his less-than-polite response to the meal.

QuackQuackOops

I don't think you should be offended.
I think you should tell your husband that you respect his views and that based on his dislike of your cooking, you are no longer going to do any.

See how long he puts up with that.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

peachyprice wrote: »

Geniune question, I am intrigued, do people who do the cooking on this thread just cook what they fancy without any discussion with their partner/family about what they want for dinner that night and expect them to eat it?

If I haven't actually planned anything (and I'm hoping he's going to say ' takeaway), I'll sometimes ask if he has any general thoughts. He usually says he doesn't mind /maybe something spicy /light, but as a whole, he'll eat what he's given.

The only things I know he doesn't like are fish, surimi or mushrooms. So I have sashimi when I'm out.

However, when I get in from work, I can be too tired to do much, and on those occasions, if there's something that springs to mind, I'll just get on with it. As money is very tight for us at present, that often involves pulses or soups and flatbread. He's not complained or refused to eat anything once.

In the same way, if he wants to cook or get a takeaway, the last thing I can be bothered to do is start thinking about that as well - Why waste time and energy fussing about it when you can hand over control to somebody else?

Newwashingmachine

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

He's a disrespectful and foul-mouthed swine, having caused offence on purpose. He's now compounding said disrespect by insisting the OP gets over herself several days later about something she's perfectly entitled to feel whether or not there was any justification. Possibly because he knows he was unreasonable and downright ruddy rude but is too arrogant and pig-headed to admit it. Or he's found a handy stick to beat her with and is enjoying himself.

Either way, he should be cooking his own meals from now on

Totally agree with this - also like to add that he sounds like a big bully - demanding an apology from the OP.

He should be cooking his own meals AND making his own bed - on the sofa.

coolcait

peachyprice wrote: »

Geniune question, I am intrigued, do people who do the cooking on this thread just cook what they fancy without any discussion with their partner/family about what they want for dinner that night and expect them to eat it?

I am equally intrigued by the idea that the other families will engage with such a discussion ! :-)

In my house, it runs along these lines:

Me: "So, what do you fancy for dinner tonight?"

Family: "Oh, I don't know. Anything really..." "Whatever's easiest for you" "I can't think of anything - so you just choose". etc

The more radical alternative is:

Me: "I was thinking that we could have [insert dinner idea here] tonight"

Family: "Oh, that sounds good!" "Why not?" "Whatever's easiest for you".

Not every dish is a success. But any 'criticism' is usually expressed along the lines of "I like 'x', but 'y' is too spicy/strong/different for me".

If any of my family ever said simply "I don't like this", I'll admit that I would ask them what it was that they didn't like - so that I could try to avoid that in the future.

In fact, we've had plenty of conversations along those lines - so I know, for example, that OH loves bacon on its own, or as part of a fry-up, or in a bacon butty - but he can't abide it in veggies. The kids, however, love a nice side dish of sprouts, or leeks, or cabbage, or broccoli (or a mixture) with a bit of bacon.

None of those conversations have ended up with anyone having their head in their hands - so I'd agree that the issues may run deeper than a simple dislike of a Mexican-style meal.

coolcait

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

....
.. It isn't being rude to state that you don't like something.

No, it isn't. But it is more constructive to state why you don't like it.


My personal favourite on that front was when my sister, in her early years, stated that she didn't like her steak (a special treat, for a special occasion) because "it tastes like cow"!


On that occasion, she got an omelette instead - and the rest of us got an extra bit of steak! ;-) After that, anytime we had steak, hers had extra seasoning - and never tasted of cow again...


Alas! (For those of use who had quite enjoyed the extra bit of steak).

duchy

shegirl wrote: »

What if it's someone who has spent the day grinding away at work to earn the money that you then buy the food with? Or is that not considered a 'contribution'?

Depends if you regard the kitchen as one person's territory or not.

We tend to share the cooking - but my OH does more than I do but it tends to be one or other of us cooking rather than a joint effort over and above the offer to help with a bit of prep . I cook some things better than him - for example we had steak last night - I always cook when we have steak cos I'm better at it -whereas if we are having shepherds pie from scratch either of us can make it (and we make it completely differently)

We will always say "Do you fancy X for dinner?" I don't think I've ever not not known what he will be cooking - and vice versa .

Both of us at one time or another have said "I don't fancy that tonight - how about we have xxx instead" It's not an issue- why would it be ?

However it does sound like the OP does all the cooking-so if there is conflict about it-it's about her "territory"

peachyprice

duchy wrote: »

We will always say "Do you fancy X for dinner?" I don't think I've ever not not known what he will be cooking - and vice versa .

Both of us at one time or another have said "I don't fancy that tonight - how about we have xxx instead" It's not an issue- why would it be ?

Yes, this is how it goes in out house, which is why I find it hard to understand how you would put a meal in front of someone that they don't like.

If my husband made an arbitrary decision as to what I was having for dinner and just went and cooked it I wouldn't be too chuffed.