Am I right to be offended?

victory

Mojisola wrote: »

That was from 2011 - MissOptimistic - has anything improved since then?

3 years ago? That is a very long time to have a relationship that is a very unhappy one, would it be for the sake of the kids? Did he have a job then? Has anything got better since or is it just getting worse?

Marisco

I've just read some of the op's posts from that thread, and I must say if her oh hasn't changed since 3 years ago, then he'd have got the toe of my shoe right up his jacksie, and out the door!! Is he still as picky with what work he will do? That is just unbelievable!!!

Blackpool_Saver

Kitchen strike forthwith

Kantankrus_Mare

victory wrote: »

3 years ago? That is a very long time to have a relationship that is a very unhappy one, would it be for the sake of the kids? Did he have a job then? Has anything got better since or is it just getting worse?

It seems he didnt have a job then and very fussy about work he would and wouldnt consider.

That was a long time ago though. Surely he has done some sort of work since then? Sure OP will enlighten us.

Marisco

Blackpool_Saver wrote: »

Kitchen strike forthwith

Kitchen strike? Reading that old thread, it'll take more than a kitchen strike to sort him out!!!

MBenz

The fact that you made time to cook a meal then your hubby and your children should be appreciative. Even if you do that every day. If, unfortunately, they don't like the food then your hubby should set an example and act like a grown up and first thank you for taking the time to make it and then politely decline to eat it.


My partner can't cook to my own taste standards but I always appreciate her efforts in trying. If it's something I don't like I just say e.g. I prefer my rice a little undercooked dear, OR "maybe you should have added more salt?"


My partner no longer gets upset, sometimes she just refuses to cook! My loss!!

System

You can say anything to someone as long as the heart and the attitude is right.

OP your husbands heart and attitude wasn't right and yes I think, your right to be offended.

Vicky123

The longer you put up with it the more he will do it, it's unlikely to improve. Looking at the old thread you say he likes the house to be tidy but in the same post say he doesn't do any of it. Bit like being fussy with food but doesn't cook, likes to eat but doesn't care to contribute to the cost. His type is ten a penny, go to womens aid forum, you'll find him in every post.

MissOptimistic

OH got a job in May 2012, unfortunately this was away from home, so whilst the money was good, once board & logdings costs were taken into account, it ended up pretty average. He did this job for a year before packing it in in May 2013 & he hasn't worked since. That is not to say he doesn't contribute at all, we have rental income (from a house jointly owned) and he sees to all the repairs & maintenance on that which is high as its a student let, but still not quite the same as working full time IMHO.
I had to laugh at one of the posts that said I was attempting to control him by putting my head in my hands as it is very much the other way round, OH is very controlling and there are many things that don't go down well with him. Whilst it will seem I am still stuck in the same situation as 3 years ago, I have made positive steps to improve my own life & OH is finally realising that maybe there is a possibility that I could leave him. He is just very good at making me feel like I am the one at fault all the time & I wanted to make sure I wasn't going crazy, which is sometimes how I feel!

sulphate

Why isn't he working now?

Someone who is at home all the time without pre-school age children to look after should be doing the lion's share of the housework. That includes cooking.

As for all this "I don't know how to cook" rubbish, the only skill you need to be able to cook is the ability to read a recipe.