Finding a compromise? Any tips?!

victory

Prep or a showhouse home there would always still be a reason the OP could say they would not be welcome and her OH knows that.

notanewuser

Marisco wrote: »

I think most people would TBH, might have a bit of a moan, but nowt like this!! OP seems to be bending over backwards to accommodate "birth" friends (whatever the hell they are!!) but reluctant to do the same with in laws. I too get the feeling that there is way more to this as well. God help the op when the kid gets married!!

(Text removed by MSE Forum Team)

Birth friends. The friends she's had since birth. They cut their teeth together, took their first steps together etc. is it so hard to understand? They're the people that have been there throughout DD's whole life. Her best friends. The ones that care all of the time, not just when it suits them.

Marisco

Gordon bennet, I can see why the oh says nowt!! :rotfl:

What? All 4 years of it!!

If all you want is people agreeing with you as to how horrible, nasty and inconsiderate your in laws are, then you shouldn't have posted on a public forum.

seven-day-weekend

I didn't know what Birth Friends were either.......

There's no need to swear and get angry just because people did not know what something meant!

(and do four-year-olds 'care all of the time' or are they not bothered most of the time if they are hundreds of miles apart? Might they not just get excited at the thought of a visit?).

Seriously, OP I really think you need to step away and try and see this in perspective. Your husband has not committed the unforgivable sin. He has been thoughtless and tactless, yes, but it's not the end of the world, is it? Have the 'birth friends' come to the party as planned and if the inlaws come they can go in the annex, as I suggested before. If they go in a hotel and your husband wants to join them, well surely it won't be until the child's party is over? And have the trip away some other time.

Or accept them coming on Bonfire night instead.

barbiedoll

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

I hadn't read the WHOLE thread.

Now I have.

And that's two hours of your life that you'll never get back!

:doh:

lulu_92

Apologies for me getting a bit shirty about the shirtiness on this thread. I've never understand why people bring up other threads to score points against someone.

Hopefully OP is taking time to reflect and calm down.

millysg1

Some posts deleted I see. makes reading confusing!

newcook

Can you and DD stay in the hotel too? That way your OH gets to see you and DD on the morning of your birthdays, your in-laws get to spend time with you all, your DD gets the party and you haven’t got a load of people staying in your house that you are having to clean up after!

Personally I think that would be a compromise for everyone!

millysg1

newcook wrote: »

Can you and DD stay in the hotel too? That way your OH gets to see you and DD on the morning of your birthdays, your in-laws get to spend time with you all, your DD gets the party and you haven’t got a load of people staying in your house that you are having to clean up after!

Personally I think that would be a compromise for everyone!

Its an idea but she already has plans for a friend and her child to stay over Saturday night (already pre planned before the parents got involved). Not a very good host to leave your guests really.

lulu_92

millysg1 wrote: »

Its an idea but she already has plans for a friend and her child to stay over Saturday night (already pre planned before the parents got involved). Not a very good host to leave your guests really.

:rotfl:I'm just imagining that situation like a 90s sitcom.