Finding a compromise? Any tips?!

notanewuser

scotsbob wrote: »

I had noticed the same thing. I don't understand why she just doesn't move out.
Can't be much fun for her old man either with her moaning on and on about how unhappy she is all the time.

I'm not unhappy and nor do I moan all the time. But thanks for resurrecting the thread!

SuzieSue

notanewuser wrote: »

I'm not unhappy and nor do I moan all the time. But thanks for resurrecting the thread!

Don't bother justifying youself to people who make nasty comments like that.

The only people who would do that sort of thing have miserable lives themselves so you should just feel sorry for them .

If they were happy in their own lives, they wouldn't say nasty things.

gettingtheresometime

notanewuser wrote: »

I'm not unhappy and nor do I moan all the time. But thanks for resurrecting the thread!

I'm surprised the MSE team haven't put this in Martin's weekly email -they have a knack of doing that with threads that the OP really wishes would die a death !

notanewuser

Soooooo, DH's parents didn't come down for bonfire night. He's invited them down for our one semi-free December weekend instead, again on the understanding that he sorts them out. (Apparently he wasn't planning on washing the bedding they slept on in October. 2 month old bedding with child dribble on, anyone!? _pale_)

He hasn't twigged yet that that weekend was our only chance to go up and visit the whole family....................

Brighton_belle

Right, don't give it another thought: let him get on with it...and don't fret about the bedding washing either - that is completely down to him.

notanewuser

Brighton_belle wrote: »

Right, don't give it another thought: let him get on with it...and don't fret about the bedding washing either - that is completely down to him.

I'm not! :j:j:j:j:j:j

And I've warned him that DD and I may well be out for a day and evening that weekend too - discussed with a friend but not yet set in stone.

FBaby

And I've warned him that DD and I may well be out for a day and evening that weekend too - discussed with a friend but not yet set in stone

Why? Understand if you don't want to see them, but hasn't your DD got a right to see them?

notanewuser

FBaby wrote: »

Why? Understand if you don't want to see them, but hasn't your DD got a right to see them?

As I say, it was planned before he invited them, but tix not bought. Thought we might be able to move to another date but the thing is only on for 1 weekend. Asked whether they would want to come but they wouldn't be here in time.

So DD and I would go Saturday late morning. In laws would arrive (with nieces again) around 2pm. DD and I would be back around 9pm (nieces already in bed).

All day Sunday they can see each other. And they're staying till Monday again so they'll see DD in the morning before school too.

Or should I let someone else down that I'd already agreed to go out with for something that only happens once a year so that the inlaws get a few hours longer with DD?

(Hopefully I can move most of DD's toys out of the way before then too. Last time they emptied literally everything onto the floor and DH/his parents just left it all.)

victory

notanewuser wrote: »

As I say, it was planned before he invited them, but tix not bought. Thought we might be able to move to another date but the thing is only on for 1 weekend. Asked whether they would want to come but they wouldn't be here in time.

So DD and I would go Saturday late morning. In laws would arrive (with nieces again) around 2pm. DD and I would be back around 9pm (nieces already in bed).

All day Sunday they can see each other. And they're staying till Monday again so they'll see DD in the morning before school too.

Or should I let someone else down that I'd already agreed to go out with for something that only happens once a year so that the inlaws get a few hours longer with DD?

(Hopefully I can move most of DD's toys out of the way before then too. Last time they emptied literally everything onto the floor and DH/his parents just left it all.)

You are putting problems/counter problems/too much thought/being obtrusive/being unhelpful/not compromising/not 50/50 all over again, exactly as it was just another month/year down the I will not compromise and give it a rest line:eek:

notanewuser

victory wrote: »

You are putting problems/counter problems/too much thought/being obtrusive/being unhelpful/not compromising/not 50/50 all over again, exactly as it was just another month/year down the I will not compromise and give it a rest line:eek:

Sorry, don't understand. Are you saying I should cancel existing arrangements because DH has organised something else that doesn't directly affect it?

DH, by the way, is completely happy with the arrangements. Isn't that all that matters?

(Convo went: him "my parents have nieces x and y on the weekend of thing and mentioned coming down? Are we doing anything?"
me "No, we aren't, but i did say to B that we'd go to that thing with the kids that weekend. I need to check whether they still want to go."
him "Okay, no problem. They can come anyway. I'll see if it's something they fancy.".........texts sent........."no, they think x and y are a bit young for it."

I then looked to see if I could move the other thing, but can't. So i think there's was a fair bit of compromise on both sides there!)