Finding a compromise? Any tips?!

bloolagoon

I would leave the bedding till normal bed change day

notanewuser

meer53 wrote: »

Your daughter is 4, the adjustment should be done by now. If it isn't then you both need to sit down and talk about how things are going to be in the future. Wait until you have a teenager, these are the easy years.

Your OH sounds like a lot of blokes. He wants another mother, not a wife. You can decide who you want to be.

Says who, exactly? I never thought I'd have a child. I spent 17 years working damn hard to build a career. So sorry, but it's not something that has come easy to me.

notanewuser

bloolagoon wrote: »

I would leave the bedding till normal bed change day

I haven't touched it yet.

bloolagoon

notanewuser wrote: »

I haven't touched it yet.

It's not going to hurt her having some slightly muddy bedding for a while. TBH my view of your posts is that you put yourself under a lot of stress. For example you said your car was "perfectly parked" a few posts back, you often post as if you need almost perfection in most things. If you chilled out a bit maybe life would be easier.

It's not normal that dad didn't dress for bed but if it happened I'd just laugh and say your job to tell her no sweets for a week as she didn't brush them and do the good oral health talk (I honestly think DD should take some responsibility) and leave the covers.

meer53

notanewuser wrote: »

Says who, exactly? I never thought I'd have a child. I spent 17 years working damn hard to build a career. So sorry, but it's not something that has come easy to me.

You're so defensive, it's really hard to enter into any discussion with you. You ask for advice and peoples experiences but then dismiss them. I don't think this thread is helping you at all. You just put up excuses so it's really counterproductive now.

notanewuser

bloolagoon wrote: »

It's not going to hurt her having some slightly muddy bedding for a while. TBH my view of your posts is that you put yourself under a lot of stress. For example you said your car was "perfectly parked" a few posts back, you often post as if you need almost perfection in most things. If you chilled out a bit maybe life would be easier.

It's not normal that dad didn't dress for bed but if it happened I'd just laugh and say your job to tell her no sweets for a week as she didn't brush them and do the good oral health talk (I honestly think DD should take some responsibility) and leave the covers.

Oh my goodness! I'm the least "perfect" person ever! I only iron what's absolutely necessary, Hoover around once a month, let DD chuck paint and glitter around unfettered, and I threw tea down my top this morning and haven't bothered changing.

I may be a bit anal about parking, but I saved hard for my cars and don't like people bashing into them.

notanewuser

meer53 wrote: »

You're so defensive, it's really hard to enter into any discussion with you. You ask for advice and peoples experiences but then dismiss them. I don't think this thread is helping you at all. You just put up excuses so it's really counterproductive now.

You keep telling me what should and shouldn't be. Not everybody fits into neat little boxes.

Me adding information because you've clearly made a judgement on very little information isn't being defensive.

meer53

notanewuser wrote: »

You keep telling me what should and shouldn't be. Not everybody fits into neat little boxes.

Me adding information because you've clearly made a judgement on very little information isn't being defensive.

I rest my case.

CH27

notanewuser wrote: »

I'm really not unhappy. I don't think either of us would stay if we were truly unhappy. The significant change of lifestyle that came with having DD has/is taking some serious adjustment. My mum wasn't at home when I was growing up and my dad was as hands on as it gets. DH had his mum at home his whole life. The counsellor pointed out to him that he'd seem to have fallen into an expectation of everything being done for him again and just doing whatever he liked whereas I was struggling to make sense of the situation as it differed so much to my own experience.

My job was a huge part of my life and we both had very active social lives both apart and seperately. Since DD my social life tends to involve her whereas he's persuing all of the things he did before her still, which don't involve us (and won't).

IMO it's a mistake to live your life through your child.
They grow up & get their own lives

Would it be possible to get some balance in your life & work away from home a couple of days per week?

notanewuser

meer53 wrote: »

I rest my case.

Don't feel you have to post here.