How often do you see your (adult) children when they're not living with you?

System

cazziebo wrote: »

I'm one of five siblings and we have never all been in the same room together. My older brother went to live with grandparents as a teenager, joined the merchant navy at 17 and was away when my youngest brother was born. He then emigrated to Canada, with my older sister following a few years later. We've almost managed a reunion a few times but there was always one of us that couldn't make it.

The last picture I have of all my 'kids' was in my eldest sons final year of school. The youngest was just a few months old. My eldest is now 33 and my youngest is 18.

Noctu

My DH and I both live around 2-3 miles away from parents.

I see my mum (no dad in the picture) once or twice a week, talk nearly every day on phone.

DH sees his parents perhaps once a month. He used to see them as much as me but after a falling out over their involvement in our wedding 4 years ago, he doesn't bother much any more.

lazer

Live about 3 miles from my parents - see them anything from once a week to 10 times a week. When OH is working away I call in on my way home from work a lot, other weeks, if I have stuff on, don't see them at all. This week have seen them 3 times, 1 at my house, 1 at theirs, and out with them once.


OH's parents live 10,000 mile away, since we got married (2 years ago) have seen them 5 times, we have visited them 2, and they have been here 3 times - total of 15 weeks with each other.


OH's Uncle (who he is very close to), lives 100 mile away, see him a fortnight, sometimes once every 3 weeks

onomatopoeia99

I'm 45, parents in their late 70s. They live 120 miles / 2 hours by car and I see them a handful of times a year (rarely more than half a dozen). Call them most weekends.

SavingPennies_2

I think it's partly do do with circumstances and gender. I know its generalising, but I'd say women, especially women with young children who live near their mothers probably see them a lot more more often than men. Assuming he previously always lived with you at 26 this is his first taste of "freedom" and he is probably enjoying spending time with mates/girlfriend and relishing having his own place. I'm sure it's nothing personal to you, he probably doesnt even realise how upset you are.

The men I know who live within a few miles of their parents see them about once a week. I see mine every few months but thats because I live in another city.

onomatopoeia99

noelphobic wrote: »

He has been visiting once a week on average since he last moved out. He has now said this is very 'manufactured' and he would like to see me less often and spend quality time together doing 'stuff'.

For comparison, when I was 26 bought a house with my (now ex) girlfriend and while I saw my parents a bit more frequently than now, although it was still less than once a month. I hadn't lived with my parents full time since I was 19.

onlyroz

My parents live about a mile away and I see them 1-2 times a week (I go swimming with my mum every wednesday).

So do all you parents expect your children to come visiting? And if so, do you reciprocate and visit them occasionally? I get the impression that some people expect their adult kids to do all the running around, wailing "he never rings me", or "she never visits", but rarely pick up the phone or go and visit themselves.

cazziebo

onlyroz wrote: »

So do all you parents expect your children to come visiting? .

I'm quite proud that my two have forged quite independent, self sufficient lives but I do miss them and thoroughly enjoy getting together with them.

I think at this stage in their lives they prefer coming to stay at home (or my house I should probably call it!) because of the full fridge and wine rack. DD1 has offered us her spare room for our next visit but her rats and ferrets make the local Premier seem so much more attractive..

Horace

I live 4 miles from my parents and haven't seen them since July when they came here. I haven't been to visit them - due to my dad being ill, mum is very protective of him and I feel that I have to make an appointment just to see him, as obstacles are put in place then I tend not visit.

emg

I live half an hour from my (widowed) mum and probably see her about once a fortnight though I phone several times a week too. My siblings live 2 hours away but usually visit every 6-8 weeks.