How often do you see your (adult) children when they're not living with you?

noelphobic

fredtheguava wrote: »

At 26 I had: been to uni (with a year abroad), moved to Canada on my own, moved back, done my teacher training and was 2 years into my career. I lived with my girlfriend, and tried to squeeze in time to see my friends when I could. If my parents had expected me to see them - or even call them - weekly, we would have found ourselves in quite a pickle.

I regularly work 11-12 hour days in the week, and then a good 5-6 hours one weekend day. My girlfriend works shifts, so there are weeks when we're like ships in the night. I would like to have one full day off with her once a week - after all, I've chosen her to be my partner in life. I also would like to see my friends occasionally - but it is rarely more than once every three weeks.

I choose to spend time with those people. While my parents are lovely, I doubt we'll ever be the 'pop round' sort. I see them every three to four months, and call them maybe once every one to two months. However, they almost never call me - only really if it's super important (to the point that if I see their number come up, I think someone's died).

Take a step back. He might be your world, but his world is just starting. He has things going on that you can't be a part of, and he is entitled to a life outside of you. He'll call when he needs you, or wants you. He will.

How far away do your parents live? From what you say you do have a very busy life and it sounds like you struggle to find time with your girlfriend.

My son works pretty much 9-5, although he does do the odd weekend. His girlfriend also works regular hours.

candygirl

I see my DD n grandkids at least 3 times a week x

fredtheguava

noelphobic wrote: »

How far away do your parents live? From what you say you do have a very busy life and it sounds like you struggle to find time with your girlfriend.

My son works pretty much 9-5, although he does do the odd weekend. His girlfriend also works regular hours.

About a 45 minute drive. We meet on neutral territory for a couple of hours every few months. I imagine they feel much the same as you do - that I don't make enough of an effort - but I'm perfectly happy with the level of contact we have and wouldn't appreciate being under pressure to spend more time with them, explicit or implied.

I teach, so have the holidays when I am much more free.. But I spend that time catching up with friends and travelling.

Oh - and also, I go against your gender theory. I'm female, but definitely am not about to go on spa weekends or for a leisurely coffee/lunch/shopping trip. I am much more likely to spend time alone with my dad, as he will make the effort to come to where I live once in a blue moon (usually if there's cricket at the grounds near me!)

noelphobic

fredtheguava wrote: »

Oh - and also, I go against your gender theory. I'm female, but definitely am not about to go on spa weekends or for a leisurely coffee/lunch/shopping trip. I am much more likely to spend time alone with my dad, as he will make the effort to come to where I live once in a blue moon (usually if there's cricket at the grounds near me!)

I didn't say that it applied to every single female!