How often do you see your (adult) children when they're not living with you?

Dustykitten

My mum was rushed into hospital yesterday with chest pains so obviously I visited for most of the day, have been texting and speaking on the phone since and will go again this evening. It has made me think I need to plan in visiting her more often once she is home.

kpwll

Dustykitten wrote: »

My mum was rushed into hospital yesterday with chest pains so obviously I visited for most of the day, have been texting and speaking on the phone since and will go again this evening. It has made me think I need to plan in visiting her more often once she is home.

I hope your Mum feels better soon and you enjoy the non-emergency visits.

noelphobic

Dustykitten wrote: »

My mum was rushed into hospital yesterday with chest pains so obviously I visited for most of the day, have been texting and speaking on the phone since and will go again this evening. It has made me think I need to plan in visiting her more often once she is home.

I'm sorry to hear that. I hope she is out of hospital and feeling much better very soon x

GoldenShadow

What about if you tried to connect a bit with the girlfriend?

My ex's Mum was such a good friend to me for a very long time. Loved her. My ex was her only child and I think she felt more involved in his life via me also.

My OH's Mum is a bit odd. Very detached. Doesn't like children or pets so I think we will always struggle to have much in common. Not the sort to 'waste' money on spa things or coffee and cake. I wish she would, I'd love a MIL I could get on really well with

hunnie

This has varied.
When my son lived with his friends I didn't see that much of him - till he was seriously ill then saw him every day.
Now he is married with a child I see them once or twice a month.
My other son, who also has a family, lives farther away but we try to visit one another once each month.
I see my daughter several times a week. If we go two days without seeing each other she says she is missing me!


I think sons migrate to their wife's family and daughter's still prefer to visit their own mum.

noelphobic

GoldenShadow wrote: »

What about if you tried to connect a bit with the girlfriend?

My ex's Mum was such a good friend to me for a very long time. Loved her. My ex was her only child and I think she felt more involved in his life via me also.

My OH's Mum is a bit odd. Very detached. Doesn't like children or pets so I think we will always struggle to have much in common. Not the sort to 'waste' money on spa things or coffee and cake. I wish she would, I'd love a MIL I could get on really well with

This is something I've thought about but I'm quite a shy person - although often I don't come across that way. I do get quite jealous when my friends talk about things they do with their daughters - shopping, weekends away etc.

I do like children - I'm sure I will love my grandchildren if I'm lucky enough to have any. I don't get the impression that she's a very girly girl - I think most of her friends are men - she actually met my son through a mutual male friend.

Maybe you could be my honorary daughter in law.

noelphobic

hunnie wrote: »

This has varied.
When my son lived with his friends I didn't see that much of him - till he was seriously ill then saw him every day.
Now he is married with a child I see them once or twice a month.
My other son, who also has a family, lives farther away but we try to visit one another once each month.
I see my daughter several times a week. If we go two days without seeing each other she says she is missing me!


I think sons migrate to their wife's family and daughter's still prefer to visit their own mum.

His girlfriend doesn't see her mum very often as she doesn't live very close - about 2 hours travelling time away. I think if she saw her regularly then my son would have been less likely to say he wanted to see me less often, as it would just seem 'normal'.

fredtheguava

At 26 I had: been to uni (with a year abroad), moved to Canada on my own, moved back, done my teacher training and was 2 years into my career. I lived with my girlfriend, and tried to squeeze in time to see my friends when I could. If my parents had expected me to see them - or even call them - weekly, we would have found ourselves in quite a pickle.

I regularly work 11-12 hour days in the week, and then a good 5-6 hours one weekend day. My girlfriend works shifts, so there are weeks when we're like ships in the night. I would like to have one full day off with her once a week - after all, I've chosen her to be my partner in life. I also would like to see my friends occasionally - but it is rarely more than once every three weeks.

I choose to spend time with those people. While my parents are lovely, I doubt we'll ever be the 'pop round' sort. I see them every three to four months, and call them maybe once every one to two months. However, they almost never call me - only really if it's super important (to the point that if I see their number come up, I think someone's died).

Take a step back. He might be your world, but his world is just starting. He has things going on that you can't be a part of, and he is entitled to a life outside of you. He'll call when he needs you, or wants you. He will.

kitty_kins

I am 23 and I see my mum and dad every day - because I work for them! Lol Since I moved out last year, my partner and I see them socially about twice a month as they live close by.

We see my partner's parents every week if we can, as we usually go see his nan and his parents see her every Saturday.

I am usually constantly in contact with my mum and dad, but we talk to my boyfriend's parents a bit less. I think it's a boy thing!

lostinrates

Since my frost post on this thread the parent who doesn't live with me has decided they might go travelling for a longer period this time, maybe eighteen months, as is last reasonable chance. I would only expect to speak once every three months or so unless there is a problem.