Transgender help.

Person_one

duchy wrote: »

Just because it is sexist doesn't mean it isn't true though

Generalisations and stereotypes are almost never 'true'.

jhgkp

Just thought I share the latest.

Last night I was at a rehearsal for the competition. Before it started I asked one member of the committee I had emailled (my email was one saying I had read online the WI is open to anyone who is female) asking if the committee had decided if she has to stay or go. She told me they don't know.

So the rehearsal goes ahead. End of night comes, and the woman I emailled, her mum comes up to me and says "i don't like how you are bothering my daughter, will you please stop it". I said thank you for the cup of tea and cake she made and just left.

I cried on my way home. So there is the straw that broke my back. I am not going back - I am leaving the WI - I feel so hurt. I have spoke to my partner, and told her everything. She is hurt too and feels the same. She wonders what we did so wrong.

So they are going to be losing two young members, that they are so desprately trying to get.

Thank you all for your kind comments and useful advice. Didn't mean to burden you all with this.

BrassicWoman

Oh hon, I am so sorry.

When you feel up to it, do contact the main branch - I think it would be helpful to prevent other people going through this.

I hope you find somewhere more supportive to enjoy being.

tea_lover

I know its easier said than done but I wouldn't be asking their permission for anything. It would be great if you and your partner could just turn up and get on with things...stare them out in a manner of speaking. There is no reason either of you should have to leave, or ask if you can stay - but can totally see why turning your back on it all looks attractive right now.

Is there another group nearby you could join? I know there's a lot round here and it's only a small town.

Best wishes to you and your partner. I hope this doesn't put you off joining other things in the future, not everyone is so small-minded and bigoted. Take care.

Edwardia

I think it's really unfair jhgkp, that you should have gotten such crap. If you and your partner leave, the bigots win.

They then think they are justified in behaving like that. So what happens if another transitioning or transgender person comes along or a married lesbian couple ?

If you are determned to leave then please at least email WI HQ tell them the whole story, fwd the emails and name names.

I looked it up on Google and someone asked WI if they could join as transgender and the reply she got was 'anyone living their life as a woman is welcome'.

http://www.reddit.com/r/transgender/comments/17kxzk/sent_a_message_to_the_womens_institute_in_the_uk/

This is why I suggested getting support for yourself, empowering you to deal with the bigots.

It has to really upset your partner that her need to transgender is causing you such grief bc of ppl like this.

Neither of you are doing anything wrong. It's the bigots who are in the wrong.

I think you really do need some support bc this won't be the only time the two of you face bigotry.

You cannot let other peoples' prejudices dictate your lives. You will never be happy if you both live in fear of other peoples' reactions and run away from any uncomfortable situation.

victory

jhgkp wrote: »

Just thought I share the latest.

Last night I was at a rehearsal for the competition. Before it started I asked one member of the committee I had emailled (my email was one saying I had read online the WI is open to anyone who is female) asking if the committee had decided if she has to stay or go. She told me they don't know.

So the rehearsal goes ahead. End of night comes, and the woman I emailled, her mum comes up to me and says "i don't like how you are bothering my daughter, will you please stop it". I said thank you for the cup of tea and cake she made and just left.

I cried on my way home. So there is the straw that broke my back. I am not going back - I am leaving the WI - I feel so hurt. I have spoke to my partner, and told her everything. She is hurt too and feels the same. She wonders what we did so wrong.

So they are going to be losing two young members, that they are so desprately trying to get.

Thank you all for your kind comments and useful advice. Didn't mean to burden you all with this.

Oh I am so sorry for you both, this is so unfair, it is sickening, when you feel a bit stronger please' fight' for both of you, we all know this is wrong, please don't cry, make it a better place for you both and everyone else by standing up for what you believe in and opening their eyes and not letting them win, they should be crying with their head down, in shame at the way they treated you both.

HPoirot

Do not let the hurt and humiliation get the better of you OP, I would see this as a perfect opportunity to write to WI HQ pointing out your OH's situation. If you enjoy the club then there is no reason to let two people ruin it for you. In the long run I am sure it will all be forgotten. By all means I would stress in your correspondence that your OH only ever dressed as a man this once and that the local ladies in question seem to have had a mistaken view of it, etc.

j.e.j.

Are the WI joined to the church or anything like that? I'm just wondering because they seem to have a reputation for being quite 'traditional'.

There's a local leisure/hobbies group I'd like to join, but it's run by the WI and (rightly or wrongly) that does put me off joining them

tea_lover

In all the churches I've ever belonged to the OP and her partner would be welcomed warmly.

Errata

j.e.j. wrote: »

Are the WI joined to the church or anything like that? I'm just wondering because they seem to have a reputation for being quite 'traditional'.

There's a local leisure/hobbies group I'd like to join, but it's run by the WI and (rightly or wrongly) that does put me off joining them

The WI is deliberately not aligned to any religion and is apolitical.