Transgender help.

dandelionclock30

Edwardia wrote: »

I don't think for one moment that the WI would blow apart as an organisation not is it fair to put guilt on OP either.

People have the idea of the WI as being really old-fashioned and all about jam-making - which is why my mother and I refuse to join. So maybe the WI deserves to have a chance to change and show that it is forward-thinking.

They have that image but they were forward enough to give Tony Blair a slow handclap and force him off stage when he went to give them a talk a few years ago.
How did you get on at that bar? because you never let us know how you got on?

purpleshoes_2

I think they've moved on from jam making, as far as I know they do a lot of varied and interesting stuff.

purpleshoes_2

moneyistooshorttomention wrote: »

You are very right LIR on that one.

Rapists don't need a "bedroom set-up" indeed. People of that type will use/abuse whatever circumstances they see as suitable for that sort of behaviour. I have had non-bedroom circumstances where a man was clearly absolutely determined to "have his way" and managed to prevent it only by threatening his career if he didn't "stop trying right now OR ELSE". It shouldn't be necessary to be on guard against potential rapes/non-fully consenting sex acts all the time...but this is The Real World and, sadly, it is.

However, it doesn't change the need to prevent the "most likely" circumstances in which such things might happen to people.

There are many "precautions" that we learn (hopefully...) as we get older and have more "life experience" and not sharing a bedroom with someone who is/might be attracted to the sex you happen to be is but one of them.

Personally, I shudder at just how naïve I have been in some circumstances over the years and its a wonder I "got off lightly" in some of those circumstances. I so could have done with having a bit (a lot!) more of being "street wise" over the years...but it is the case that many of us are basically "nice people" and honestly don't think that others we associate with may not be...<hits head with embarrassment/upset time for not having realised way way sooner than I did>

It really is astonishing/absolutely horrifying just how many b*stards there are out there if "push comes to shove". I've lost darn nearly every ideal I had over the years personally...and it isn't a happy experience and I have to fight a constant battle against low-level depression as a result of it.

The most likely scenario of being raped I would think wouldnt be with someone who you had a long standing friendship with and were going away for a weekend. Plus, going back to the point of not sharing a room with your lesbian friend, its making a judgement that because someone is attracted to women and you are a woman that they are going to be attracted to you. Im heterosexual, the thought of me fancying every man on the planet is ridiculous.

I actually dont agree with the point about how many !!!!!!!s there are out there when push comes to shove. Ive found the absolute opposite to be true (and yes Ive had a horrible experience or two that I won't elaborate on). Ive actually found that most men and women Ive been in close contact with wouldn't dream of acting in the way that those two did. Rape and sexual assault often has very little to do with attraction, its about power and control. If you were going away for a weekend with someone where you felt you had to book a room to yourself incase something might happen to you, personally Id be rethinking going away with that person at all.

HPoirot

Not that I have ever come across the WI, but branding 212,000 women as a load of jam-makers is the most degrading, sexist tosh I have ever come across. They do say that women suffer the worst prejudices from other women and not men.

Even if jam-making were one of their main activities, it would not exclude them from having a brain and an ambition. Chances are, the WI would be behind a great deal of anti discrimination measures that we have seen in the last century or so. They certainly sent a number of women to the front in the WW2 if I remember correctly. And I would not believe that they would be stumped by a transgender member either, chances are, they would have been behind greater recognition, equality, etc.

Just because some members appear not to know how to deal with a member with confusing (to them) gender issues does not make them all jam-making harpies. The way I read it, they do have to stick to the brief that it is an organisation that offers membership to women only.

As dandelionclock said, they do have political and social opinions - and might be working quietly for greater equality of all women - transgender or not - for all we know.

VJsmum

HPoirot wrote: »

Not that I have ever come across the WI, but branding 212,000 women as a load of jam-makers is the most degrading, sexist tosh I have ever come across. They do say that women suffer the worst prejudices from other women and not men.

Even if jam-making were one of their main activities, it would not exclude them from having a brain and an ambition. Chances are, the WI would be behind a great deal of anti discrimination measures that we have seen in the last century or so. They certainly sent a number of women to the front in the WW2 if I remember correctly. And I would not believe that they would be stumped by a transgender member either, chances are, they would have been behind greater recognition, equality, etc.

Just because some members appear not to know how to deal with a member with confusing (to them) gender issues does not make them all jam-making harpies. The way I read it, they do have to stick to the brief that it is an organisation that offers membership to women only.

As dandelionclock said, they do have political and social opinions - and might be working quietly for greater equality of all women - transgender or not - for all we know.

:T

What a great post - thank you!

For the record I make jam - and am studying for a PhD

Errata

HPoirot wrote: »

Not that I have ever come across the WI, but branding 212,000 women as a load of jam-makers is the most degrading, sexist tosh I have ever come across. They do say that women suffer the worst prejudices from other women and not men.

Even if jam-making were one of their main activities, it would not exclude them from having a brain and an ambition. Chances are, the WI would be behind a great deal of anti discrimination measures that we have seen in the last century or so. They certainly sent a number of women to the front in the WW2 if I remember correctly. And I would not believe that they would be stumped by a transgender member either, chances are, they would have been behind greater recognition, equality, etc.

Just because some members appear not to know how to deal with a member with confusing (to them) gender issues does not make them all jam-making harpies. The way I read it, they do have to stick to the brief that it is an organisation that offers membership to women only.

As dandelionclock said, they do have political and social opinions - and might be working quietly for greater equality of all women - transgender or not - for all we know.

Sorry - you've remembered incorrectly -

During the Second World War, they limited their contribution to such activities as looking after evacuees, and running the Government-sponsored Preservation Centres where volunteers canned or made jam of excess produce. All this produce was sent to depots to be added to the rations.

dandelionclock30

Marvellous!. Do you have to be straight to join or will they accept lesbians and bisexuals?

Edwardia

They should accept anyone who identifies as female, regardless of sexuality, surely ?

The jam-making image is a stereotype, but on the two occasions on which my mother went to WI meetings (the first time she dragged me as well) it WAS a bunch of older/elderly women gossiping and discussing the jam stall for the village fete and crafts.

I'm not saying there's anything wrong in making jam (have made it don't touch it too much sugar) or doing crafts etc.

I DO think there's something unpleasant about the gossipy element. Don't forget, OP's situation re: WI came about bc of gossip months after the funeral. My mother felt that she didn't want to get involved in the gossip going around the vilage or get gossiped about either.

The We've-Always-Done-It-This-Way argument just doesn't hold water when it comes down to basic human rights. That we are all equal and deserve to be happy.

If people were leaving WI because women of colour were joining and the media got hold of that there would be outrage. The WI members would rightly be seen as bigoted.

So OP's partner is transitioning from male to female, is accepted by WI as a female member and is now getting bigotry on the basis of gossip abt clothes she wore to a funeral in another area.

Petty.

Person_one

HPoirot wrote: »

Not that I have ever come across the WI, but branding 212,000 women as a load of jam-makers is the most degrading, sexist tosh I have ever come across. They do say that women suffer the worst prejudices from other women and not men.

Um, the bolded is also sexist tosh.

duchy

Person_one wrote: »

Um, the bolded is also sexist tosh.

Just because it is sexist doesn't mean it isn't true though