Why should I have children???

Cottage_Economy

Hubby and I don't have kids and never will have. Both known since our teens we didn't want children and never changed out minds despite prior relationships with people who thought we would, and friends and family who pressured us.

Met him at 31 and I've been with him 10 years. If he had wanted children I would not have continued with the relationship. We asked the question of each other before we moved in together six months after meeting. I saw no reason to waste his or my time on a relationship that would be on a hiding to nowhere.

If you let him carry on believing you will change your mind your relationship will implode sooner or later when it finally sinks in you are serious. It depends whether you are willing to ride the inevitable storm now or later, and chances are the storm will be bigger the longer you leave it.

newcook

I would never get involved with a man who didn’t want children as I very much want to have a child. Same way that if I was already in a relationship and he decided that he had changed his mind and no longer wanted children I would end the relationship – it would only end up being full of resentment one way or another.

If you are absolutely positive that you do not want children you need to make this crystal clear to him so he can decide if he wants a future without children.

DUKE

Hi newlyboughthouse, I always knew from a very early age that I didn't want kids. People used to tell me with a look of sorrow on their face that I could have IFV, or adopt .... I wont even repeat what some people would say as it was unbelievable! Eventually I'd say that most people did exactly the same as their parents & grandparents did by all living similar lives. I didn't want that life, I wanted a life for myself, not have to live it through kids. I've never had any kids because I never wanted them, no regrets what so ever! I did however marry a man who had kids from a previous relationship but that's another story, & one that I don't want to repeat!!!!

red_devil

Its quite scary today, when you observe when your out its all about the kids and they want and expect so much. Now every children has to have a mobile and the latest this and that, its far more expensive than ever.

Observed a couple of women in the park the other day, their children were playing, one mum bought her son an ice cream and a toy, does he have to have things every time they go out. Bet he had loads of toys already and no doubt gets a load at Christmas and birthdays.

Aunty-Pickle

When OH and I got together, he always wanted kids and I didn't but was open to changing my mind. Part of his "belief" was that he had just always assumed that he would. It was in the kind of "grow up, go to uni, get job, get married, have kids" kind of thing. So maybe your partner is just going along with his assumption that it would always be in the "life plan".

Just a thought.

FWIW, he always said that he would stick with me if I never did change my mind because I was more important than having kids or not.

teffers

5/6 years ago I did the online dating thing.

I was 38 and dated people both with children and without.

Without fail every single childless person (in my target age range - 35-45) I met turned out to be weird.

Just be careful :eek:

True story...

Sandhy

I think my parents had 2 kids because they were expected to. I suppose it was social pressures in the early 60s. They were totally unsuited to parenting. Apart from the fact I would not be here now I wish they hadn't bothered inconveniencing themselves.

If you don't want kids, don't have kids.

zarf2007

BritAbroad wrote: »

Life isn't perfect but childfreedom is not something we've ever regretted. It can be tough though during the years when all your friends seem to be popping out kids. In my experience, people disappear into a baby bubble for about 2 years for each child. They don't want to know about your life, they don't want to socialise without their kids. They push you away and then when they're ready to resume a social life (on their terms) they'll expect you to be ready and waiting for them, and often get upset if you've moved on. I wish I could say that was a one-off but unfortunately it's not. It can be a tough few years as the friendships disappear which makes a strong relationship with your partner even more important.

This is absolutely spot on and I find it incredibly annoying how peoples lives just seem to no longer exist and they are totally consumed by kids and their activities to the point where they have no personality.

Its also irritating that people just vanish and are no longer contactable then expect to just pick up where they left off two years later....

tbh, I really think the best way to have kids and survive is to be incredibly wealthy to the point where you can just offload them to the nanny when it suits. You then get the best of both worlds, the company of your child on your terms without the daily boring grind that consumes parents.....

selfish I know but hey

DKLS

teffers wrote: »

Without fail every single childless person (in my target age range - 35-45) I met turned out to be weird.

Just be careful :eek:

True story...

Ah is that the the broody singleton rapidly approaching 40?, an often terrifying single minded creature with the soul purpose of securing a suitable mate
They can scan a man like Robocop and work out in less than a second if a man is suitable breeding material, then they unleash their plan to secure that man and his baby batter.

I met a lovely lady online who I caught sticking pin holes in my condom stash, apparently she thought I would make a lovely dad :eek:. Despite telling her on a number of occasions that children wouldn't be on the menu, now in the future or ever.

roobee13

DKLS wrote: »

I met a lovely lady online who I caught sticking pin holes in my condom stash, apparently she thought I would make a lovely dad :eek:. .

!!!!!!! Please tell me you're joking?

That's despicable. There are already so many unwanted children in the world, how cruel to try and trap someone into something they don't want.

I hope you had a lucky escape (no pun intended) DKLS!