Why should I have children???

onomatopoeia99

teffers wrote: »

5/6 years ago I did the online dating thing.

I was 38 and dated people both with children and without.

Without fail every single childless person (in my target age range - 35-45) I met turned out to be weird.

Just be careful :eek:

True story...

Depends on how you define "weird".

codemonkey

DKLS wrote: »

I met a lovely lady online who I caught sticking pin holes in my condom stash, apparently she thought I would make a lovely dad :eek:. Despite telling her on a number of occasions that children wouldn't be on the menu, now in the future or ever.

I had a guy I'd been seeing for a few weeks do this to me. Turns out that he'd been in a relationship with someone previously and they'd tried and failed to have kids together. They broke up and she almost immediately got pregnant to someone else and I think he wanted to prove that he could get someone, anyone, pregnant.

Gloomendoom

teffers wrote: »

5/6 years ago I did the online dating thing.

I was 38 and dated people both with children and without.

Without fail every single childless person (in my target age range - 35-45) I met turned out to be weird.

Have you considered that they may have thought the same thing.

Lily-Rose_3

teffers wrote: »

5/6 years ago I did the online dating thing.

I was 38 and dated people both with children and without.

Without fail every single childless person (in my target age range - 35-45) I met turned out to be weird.
...

I think if anyone has a shred of doubt about having children, that they are more likely to regret NOT having them, than having them.

Anyone who flat out doesn't want them probably won't regret it. But if someone is not sure, I do believe they are more likely to regret not having them. JMHO.

Your post is very rude though!!! Every childFREE person (and childless) I have met is absolutely fine. :rotfl: What a thing to say!

In what way are they weird?

Newlyboughthouse

DUKE wrote: »

Hi newlyboughthouse, I always knew from a very early age that I didn't want kids. People used to tell me with a look of sorrow on their face that I could have IFV, or adopt .... I wont even repeat what some people would say as it was unbelievable! Eventually I'd say that most people did exactly the same as their parents & grandparents did by all living similar lives. I didn't want that life, I wanted a life for myself, not have to live it through kids. I've never had any kids because I never wanted them, no regrets what so ever! I did however marry a man who had kids from a previous relationship but that's another story, & one that I don't want to repeat!!!!

Urgghhh can't imagine taking on someone elses' sprogs! I think the pool of suitors will rapidly decrease as I get older (if this one doesn't stick with me). But as I said, quite happy to be alone, or keep my youthful looks with plastic surgery that I'll be able to afford from not having kids :rotfl:

redpete

Newlyboughthouse wrote: »

Damn right! You can be a well-rounded female without popping out kids.

Of course you can.

Equally a woman who wants children can be 'well-rounded' and shouldn't be dismissed as "breeding" or "popping out kids".

Newlyboughthouse

Lily-Rose wrote: »

I think if anyone has a shred of doubt about having children, that they are more likely to regret NOT having them, than having them.

Anyone who flat out doesn't want them probably won't regret it. But if someone is not sure, I do believe they are more likely to regret not having them. JMHO.

Your post is very rude though!!! Every childFREE person (and childless) I have met is absolutely fine. :rotfl: What a thing to say!

In what way are they weird?

Weird people are the best!

Bella73

teffers wrote: »

5/6 years ago I did the online dating thing.

I was 38 and dated people both with children and without.

Without fail every single childless person (in my target age range - 35-45) I met turned out to be weird.

Just be careful :eek:

True story...

Think that says more about your dating site than real people. I know plenty of people who do not have children both single and married and none of them are wierd :rotfl:

Metranil_Vavin

zarf2007 wrote: »

This is absolutely spot on and I find it incredibly annoying how peoples lives just seem to no longer exist and they are totally consumed by kids and their activities to the point where they have no personality.

Its also irritating that people just vanish and are no longer contactable then expect to just pick up where they left off two years later....

tbh, I really think the best way to have kids and survive is to be incredibly wealthy to the point where you can just offload them to the nanny when it suits. You then get the best of both worlds, the company of your child on your terms without the daily boring grind that consumes parents.....

selfish I know but hey

I have to respond to this because (at least in my case) it is utterly untrue.

Most of my old friends are child free..some through choice, and a couple through circumstance/bad choices in men etc, so really I am the odd one out.

I do everything I can to make sure I see them regularly, but sometimes it just isn't possible to drop everything at a moments notice..much as I'd love to!

I have 2 kids under 4, and believe me, it isn't because I am only interested in my kids activities and shut anything else out. I would love a night in the pub or a holiday where I can lie by a pool and eat a meal in peace, but I can't. On the flip side I love being a mum, and I love my children but I also love being me..it's just not often you get a chance to do that if you choose to have kids.

So my choice yes..but don't think that every woman who has a child wants to immerse herself if baby-talk, playgroups and 'mummy talk' because they don't! My childfree friends are a lifeline sometimes when I just crave talking about other things!

dirty_magic

Do you think you might be giving him a little bit of hope with some of the things you've said? You said you've told him he may be wasting his time with you and a couple of other things you've said have made it seem like you're not completely certain you won't change your mind.

If you're certain you won't, then I think staying together would prolong the inevitable. If you're not sure or think he could possibly sway your opinion then I think it would be a shame to end it and then change your mind in a few years. I know it's not something you could compromise on if you're certain, but if there's even a little bit of doubt you might find that you would consider it in the future. It's a tough decision though.

I think you need to talk about it properly, though my OH has a tendency to bury his head in the sand too so I know it's not always easy!