Why should I have children???

Rev

Newlyboughthouse wrote: »

YES YES YES - THIS! I'd rather have the freedom to on the spur of the moment go to Amsterdam for the weekend or something without worrying about getting my sprog's lunchbox ready for Monday.

My little sister was born when I was 15, and my brother when I was 18. I played a big part in their upbringing - changing the nappies, feeding, laying with lil sis as a baby because she couldn't sleep without you there. Kind of feel like been there, done it, not for me!

And also, as others have said. The world is overpopulated as it is. And I personally don't think the world is a nice place to live. So there's is zero reason why I feel I should add to the overpopulation and force a child to live in a world I myself don't like very much.

I'll stick to dogs thanks. They don't screech 'mum' every three seconds. Cry at the drop of a hat. Have tantrums and make demands.


I see all the things my friends have to do in order to have children. Sacrifice holidays (unless they am afford to take he kids too), every day out is at a zoo or some other child oriented place. Every time we eat out it has to be somewhere that allows kids and has a kids menu. Everything and anything has to be arranged and catered around the kids. And I don't mind because I love their kids. I love spending time with their kids and spoiling then when I can. I also love that I can say 'bye'. Come home and not have to worry if uniforms are washed or lunches are packed then have a fight with a 4 year old who doesn't want to get changed for bed or wash their teeth or go to bed.

I know it sounds harsh but it all just sounds so incredibly boring.


I have a cousin who doesn't want kids either. No maternal instinct at all.


So, no. You're not strange for not wanting kids. We may be in the minority but it's perfectly normal.


I do feel incredibly sad for those who do really want children and can't have them for whatever reason. It must be awful being in that situation and living in a world where every other chav pops out a few sprogs to get benefits and not have to work. When there are people out there who would genuinely love children, have planned for them to find they can't have them. That must be awful.

Indie_Kid

I remember when I was 20 or 21, someone was giving some very odd lecture because I wasn't in a relationship. (they don't interest me in the slightest) She was also telling me how the time is running out for me to have children.

I am not allowed children due to the medication I'm on. And quite frankly, I'd rather not pass my dodgy genes on.

sulkisu

To answer your specific question 'why should I have children?'. You shouldn't. You don't want them and do not need to justify the reasons why to anyone. You do need to decide what to do about your partner. Personally, if I was 100% sure that I did not want children, I would walk away from the relationship. Sounds dramatic, but if he really wants children, that feeling is unlikely to suddenly go away. One of you will have to compromise and although I believe that all good relationships involve compromise of some sort - having children should not be one of them. The worst outcome would be that you feel pressured into having a child that you don't want.

Newlyboughthouse

Indie_Kid wrote: »

I remember when I was 20 or 21, someone was giving some very odd lecture because I wasn't in a relationship. (they don't interest me in the slightest) She was also telling me how the time is running out for me to have children.

I'd quite happily be single too (although I love my partner and being with him) I'm quite happy in my own company and don't rely on anybody for anything. Some women make me sad that they are so scared to be alone. My neighbour's partner beats her but she won't finish things because she'll be alone with 2 kids

Indie_Kid wrote: »

I am not allowed children due to the medication I'm on. And quite frankly, I'd rather not pass my dodgy genes on.

Yep - I'd rather not subject a child to the probable Aspergers and depression that it would probably inherit from it's mother (although I now appreciate Aspergers and feel it actually benefits my life, it was a flipping nightmare in my teens feeling like a total outcast)

Gavin83

Person_one wrote: »

I'm not much older than you, but I've discovered that its not actually that easy to find a man who doesn't want children at some point in the future.

I think the theory that most men don't want children and are talked into it by their partners is a myth. I know loads of guys who are sure they wanted children. I'd actually say I'm the only one of my friends who doesn't want children.

Newlyboughthouse wrote: »

I know this is going to be a contentious statement to make, but I almost feel my generation is under a moral duty NOT to have children for this reason.

The world would be a screwed up place if no one had children. They are necessary.

I hate to say it but I think children are a deal breaker in any relationship. If your set on not having kids and he's sure he wants them I don't believe the relationship can work. Even if he says he can ignore it I think he'll either leave you when he finds someone else who wants the same things as him or he'll resent you so much for 'denying' him children that you'll end up breaking up anyway.

Depends on if you see the remaining time you'd have together as worth it or a waste of time.

Person_one

Rev wrote: »

I'll stick to dogs thanks. They don't screech 'mum' every three seconds. Cry at the drop of a hat. Have tantrums and make demands.

Well they can't say 'mum', but the rest of it… :rotfl:

Newlyboughthouse

Gavin83 wrote: »

The world would be a screwed up place if no one had children. They are necessary.

I just think, if you're not ready to have them, use contraception. IT'S REALLY NOT DIFFICULT. Shocking how many people have 'accidents'. A girl I know has recently got herself up the duff because she couldn't be bothered with any contraception. She's still smoking like a chimney, lives like a pig. Some people just shouldn't have them, for the good of the human race!

Linda32

I am 42 my OH is 45, We have been together since I was 16. I knew he never wanted children and I was never bothered one way or the other.

I realised at that young age that 'not being bothered' wasn't a good basis for raising a child.

It was on our first holiday together when I was about 23 that sealed the deal. We were sat outside in a pub garden in Newquay, the weather turned abit cold and we went inside. Another couple couldn't go inside as they had a baby, (no under 18's in the pub then) I remember the moment as if it was yesterday and have never regreted it for a moment.

We have never had any pets either. Far too much responsability.

I have been very very carful with contraception as well. The pill at first and if I forgot followed the 7 day rule. Then injections when I kept on forgetting and now the implant.

Armchair23

Another perspective from me, I didn't want kids AT ALL but my partner did very badly. We had two who I absolutely adore and wouldn't be without - now grown ups.
But I still 'don't want kids' and would have been perfectly happy to be child free.
So this was a compromise I was prepared to make and it's brought me a lot of pleasure and love as well as a loss of freedom and personal fulfillment in other ways.
Everyone has a different take on this and how you feel can change over time. So while I totally respect women's choice to be sterilised early in their life I also think you need to understand that you may change your mind and that isn't always a bad thing.
I hope you find a happy outcome with or without children.

Person_one

Newlyboughthouse wrote: »

I just think, if you're not ready to have them, use contraception. IT'S REALLY NOT DIFFICULT. Shocking how many people have 'accidents'. A girl I know has recently got herself up the duff because she couldn't be bothered with any contraception. She's still smoking like a chimney, lives like a pig. Some people just shouldn't have them, for the good of the human race!

A girl you know?

Contraception isn't perfect, and neither are people, try to relax a bit and live and let live.