Why should I have children???

PlymouthMaid

This is good advice, think about the dog (seriously).

DKLS

meer53 wrote: »

Your friend is right OP, until you have a baby, you cannot describe the love that you feel. It's completely different from how you feel for a partner.

It may be different but bio-chemically speaking it can easily be replicated by eating large quantities of chocolate.

OP I think you need a serious talk with your man, I have seen something very similar recently where my mate broke up with his wife as he had realised that she wasn't going to change her mind and he really wanted a child.

Shame really as they had a great relationship bar for this issue.

Rev

I'm 35. I don't want kids. I've never wanted kids.

All my friends have kids and they all think I'll change my kind and say I'll regret it when I'm older but having watched their lives change in every way imaginable now they've become a taxi/cook/cleaner/shopper/bank for these tiny demanding people they've convinced me more than ever that I don't want kids.


Don't get me wrong. I love my friends kids. And kids in general but the thought of having me entire life dictated by and arranged around kids is my worst nightmare.


They seem to have little to no time to themselves between school runs, nursery runs, making meals, washing, cleaning, driving to this after school club and that after school club, and this party and that party etc. I'm not suggesting it's all like that as I'm sure it's massively rewarding. But I genuinely couldn't be bothered.


I think I'm just too selfish.

Newlyboughthouse

Person_one wrote: »

Don't get the dog yet.

We've actually discussed what would happen if we split up as getting the dog is a 10+ year commitment. I would have the dog as I own my house, whereas he would have to move into rented accommodation which more than likely won't allow dogs. If we're on good terms he can visit (as was the case with a friend of mine who amicably split from his girlfriend). I know I know - things may turn sour if he or I move on. If his accommodation allows he will have the dog (he was the one who initially wanted the dog, so the dog will be 'his' and the cats will always be 'mine'). If we have a bad break-up and so visiting won't be realistic, the dog will stay with him if his accommodation allows, but more likely me as not many landlords allow pets!

Either way we would never ever let the dog suffer so please readers, do not worry about the dog! I hate how dogs get dumped in shelters for reasons like this so I will NOT be one of those.

Newlyboughthouse

DKLS wrote: »

It may be different but bio-chemically speaking it can easily be replicated by eating large quantities of chocolate.

What - the sick feeling? :rotfl::p

Starrystarrynight

I'm in my mid 40s & don't regret not having children. I know I just don't have it in me to give that much.

If the OP's partner believes she'll change her mind, even after it's been discussed, and the OP is certain she won't, there is sure to be a break up somewhere along the line. Just a case of when, and how tied together you will be in financial & property terms.

Does he realise he may miss his chance to have a family with a like-minded partner in future.

Newlyboughthouse

Rev wrote: »

I'm 35. I don't want kids. I've never wanted kids.

All my friends have kids and they all think I'll change my kind and say I'll regret it when I'm older but having watched their lives change in every way imaginable now they've become a taxi/cook/cleaner/shopper/bank for these tiny demanding people they've convinced me more than ever that I don't want kids.


Don't get me wrong. I love my friends kids. And kids in general but the thought of having me entire life dictated by and arranged around kids is my worst nightmare.


They seem to have little to no time to themselves between school runs, nursery runs, making meals, washing, cleaning, driving to this after school club and that after school club, and this party and that party etc. I'm not suggesting it's all like that as I'm sure it's massively rewarding. But I genuinely couldn't be bothered.


I think I'm just too selfish.

YES YES YES - THIS! I'd rather have the freedom to on the spur of the moment go to Amsterdam for the weekend or something without worrying about getting my sprog's lunchbox ready for Monday.

My little sister was born when I was 15, and my brother when I was 18. I played a big part in their upbringing - changing the nappies, feeding, laying with lil sis as a baby because she couldn't sleep without you there. Kind of feel like been there, done it, not for me!

Newlyboughthouse

Starrystarrynight wrote: »

I'm in my mid 40s & don't regret not having children. I know I just don't have it in me to give that much.

If the OP's partner believes she'll change her mind, even after it's been discussed, and the OP is certain she won't, there is sure to be a break up somewhere along the line. Just a case of when, and how tied together you will be in financial & property terms.

Does he realise he may miss his chance to have a family with a like-minded partner in future.

Yes - or at least he should do as I did question him on this. I specifically said to him, you may be wasting your time with me.

Newlyboughthouse

catkins wrote: »

I am 60 (OH a few years younger) and have been married over 30 years. We decided to remain childfree for various reasons but not because neither of us like children. More reasons to do with overpopulation, not thinking this world is a nice place to bring children into,

I know this is going to be a contentious statement to make, but I almost feel my generation is under a moral duty NOT to have children for this reason.

catkins wrote: »

Neither of us have ever regretted and think we definitely made the right decision. Most of our friends have divorced (quite a few more than once) and most of them say their problems started when children came along. Also a lot of our friends have had problems with their children (taking drugs, getting into trouble with the police, 2 going to prison, getting pregnant young, getting a girl pregnant etc). I am a big worrier and would not have wanted all the worry over any children.

Exactly this.

boliston

I'm 49 with no plans for sprogs and luckily my partner (who is 35) has said she is not bothered by not having any ether. I think it helps that both my sisters (both late 40s) don't have any kids and my partners brother does not have kids either and also none of our friends have any kids.