Why should I have children???

catkins

Cissi wrote: »

OP, as you seem aware yourself, at 27 you simply can't KNOW for sure yet.

You CAN know for sure at 27 or younger and to say you can't is an insult to those who do

Gloomendoom

bargainbetty wrote: »

Stop referring to people as abnormal because they don't think like you. They have a different opinion. That is quite normal in humans.

*steps off soapbox, dusts down*

As far as I am aware I haven't referred to anybody as being abnormal because they don't think like me.

I did say that not wanting children is not normal though... and I stand by that statement.

dirty_magic

Gloomendoom is right, it's not statistically normal anyway. The reaction you get from 99% of people when you say you don't want kids tells you that!

It is unusual for a woman not to want them ever. Most women either definitely want them or say maybe one day.

If the doctors sterilized everyone that asked when they were young they would be spending a lot on reversals! Even if you are sure they probably get a lot that change their mind.

DKLS

DevilsAdvocate1 wrote: »

I run a parent and toddler group and you'd be surprised at how many older mums (I'm talking around 40) who didn't want children who end up having at least one. Sometimes they changed their mind for themselves, sometimes it was because their spouse wanted a child and sometimes it was a mistake. All of them have commented on how they wouldn't change things now. And some even went on to have a planned second child. One mum is 44 and has just done this.

So I think this is probably why doctor's are not keen on sterilisation for a younger woman. You might not change your mind, but the doctor has seen many women before you change their mind. So the doctor can't be sure that in another 10 years you won't.

My gp rejected my request for a vasectomy as "i may change my mind", funny my boss at the time trusted my decision making ability on multi-million pound projects yet I couldn't decide about my fertility, thankfully Marie Stopes stepped in treated me like an adult and for £400 and about an hour of my time I became a jaffa. In hindsight I wishI had that done at age 18 it would have saved a lot of stress and worry.

To counter your point about women changing their mind they can also do that after having babies but its a tad late then, I used to work in the field of pre-natal screening and the woman who ran the unit did research following up women who had problems conceiving and had gone to have a child and at least 30% of women regretted having a child, and these were the women who had gone through hell to get pregnant, multiple cycles of IVF, taking medication, diet changes, lifestyle changes in order to have their much desired child.

I recently saw a an old school friend who complained bitterly that despite his best efforts his two kids had turned out to be crap. He admitted he wished he hadn't bothered, he loved them but was massively disappointed that they were crap.

Mrs_Ryan

I wanted children desperately but couldn't have them. I just became resigned to it in the end. Even before my hysterectomy I was asked if I wanted to just have an exploratory op instead because I hadn't had children despite the fact it was on my records as confirmed I wouldn't be able to conceive naturally due to my PCOS. The militant mummy brigade make me very angry- I love kids but I don't like being made to feel selfish as a medical condition has robbed me of the opportunity. My friend is the same- she's not maternal and gets annoyed at those people who hint she's selfish. Having kids is not the be all and end all of life!

Liz3yy

I don't want children and never have. Even now I'm married I still don't and hubby isn't interested either. I am 35 he is 48.

When I was a teenager I declared to my parents I wasn't interested in having children, my Mum went mental saying I couldn't deny her the right to be a grandmother....ok then

When I met my husband we discussed early on in our relationship our feelings on being parents, we both agreed that we wouldn't be having kids and certainly wouldn't attempt to conceive any time soon, but if we did accidentally then we would deal with it at the time.

Soon after our wedding the comments started coming as to when we would have children, I shut them down quickly with responses along the lines of "I would rather sandpaper my face off" etc.... A work colleague declared that I was violently against children why is that? no not children in general, just against having my own - please don't ask again

Since then no one has mentioned it and they know better than to question our decision - we like our lifestyle too much to have a child screw it up.

Liz3yy

I would also add that even if I did want children it wouldn't be recommended that I did - I'm very short and have a small pelvis so delivery would be difficult, not to mention I have blood pressure issues and absolutely zero pain tolerance. I once attempted having a copper coil fitted but the pain from the procedure made me pass out - my GP didn't even get the coil in before the cramping got too much, she said the pain I felt was akin to labour pains! I'm not going through that for anyone

fairy_lights

Liz3yy wrote: »

When I was a teenager I declared to my parents I wasn't interested in having chicken, my Mum went mental

Good for you...keeping chickens is a big commitment and you shouldn't be pressured in to it

Gloomendoom

MrsDanvers wrote: »

I have read the whole thread, sweetie.

The whole thread... apart from the bit where I posted a definition of 'normal'.

Liz3yy

fairy_lights wrote: »

Good for you...keeping chickens is a big commitment and you shouldn't be pressured in to it

Lol, you quoted that before I had a chance to correct my typo!