Neighbours ignore us - thoughts?

greatgimpo

We used to have a phrase at work for stuck up people like that:

My $h1t doesn't smell.

greenwoodlad

Mojisola wrote: »

It's unlikely that your neighbours are locals - if they all have professional jobs, they're probably incomers as well.

It might be worth trying to make contact with some of the real locals - if they haven't all been priced out of the village. Is there a village hall committee, any governors wanted at the school, local groups you can join, etc?

I also think it's worth just considering that your children may be noisier than they need be. If they really aren't and your neighbours are out-and-out snobs, you won't be able to change them and you'll need to think about whether you want to stay among such rude people.

Thanks for your reply - neighbours are professionals that have moved into the village - yes they have got on all the local committees and the school PTA etc - it has been difficult for us as we work long hours and night shifts...maybe we have not made the effort but these people get places on the committees only for the people in their clique - it sounds petty - we have a school fair every year with a may queen competition - and every year it is the daughter of one of these people on the PTA that win the competition ! we have learned to rise above it - its all so political and fixed - these people control the village !

Mojisola

greenwoodlad wrote: »

Thanks for your reply - neighbours are professionals that have moved into the village - yes they have got on all the local committees and the school PTA etc - it has been difficult for us as we work long hours and night shifts...maybe we have not made the effort but these people get places on the committees only for the people in their clique - it sounds petty - we have a school fair every year with a may queen competition - and every year it is the daughter of one of these people on the PTA that win the competition ! we have learned to rise above it - its all so political and fixed - these people control the village !

Sounds all too familiar!

Bogof_Babe

They must lead very sad little lives, and how time-consuming it must be to keep up the snooty attitude. It's almost like they think they might get contaminated if they let you into the enclave.

Perhaps the old lady who had your house before you was a sort of village matriarch, so anyone who replaced her would be seen as an intruder? Did you buy it off the old lady, or did she pass away? If you did, I'm wondering what she told them to expect! She might have given negative vibes on the grounds of you having kids, before the neighbours even set eyes on you.

I'd continue to smile sweetly when you cross their paths, then immediately turn your head away as if there's something far more interesting in the other direction.

It would be fun to sign up at the surgery of the doctor, or go to see the solicitor about your Wills :rotfl:.

SavingPennies_2

oystercatcher wrote: »

I'm a bit amazed that so many posters are encouraging the children to be noisy. I agree with Fbaby noisy children can be very annoying if you are used to a peaceful garden. The same applies to children rushing around in the street being noisy and getting in peoples way, it's inconsiderate.

I was always brought up to 'play quietly in the garden' and encouraged my children to do the same. It seems basic good manners not annoy people. Children need to learn self control and consideration of others.

And encouraging they be more noisy is just living up to the stereotype they are judging you with!

dirty_magic

It wouldn't even occur to me to ask the neighbours for permission to have a trampoline! It's your garden, do what you like in it!

You've done more than enough to try to keep them happy, personally I wouldn't have bothered. I have found noisy children annoying in the past but I wouldn't have dreamed of saying anything, it's just what kids do.

*max*

Anyone else having visions of the village in Hot Fuzz?

ManofLeisure_2

I wonder what your neighbours version of the story would be - always two sides of course.

suse*

Not everyone wants to be friends with everyone. Where I live no one on the street socialises with anyone else. Just because you live close to someone, as others have mentioned, doesn't mean that you have anything in common with them. Or they just might be happy with their circle of friends and aren't interested in meeting new people.

Stop worrying so much what other people think and just live your lives. Let you kids play in the garden if they want to, go out and do whatever you want to. You are projecting onto these strangers who are "ignoring you" when if they are just lost in their own world might not recognise you out of context. I don't think if saw any of my neighbours in tesco I'd even realise it was them. I go to shop not to see what everyone else is doing / buying, even someone I know well would probably have to approach me else I'd probably not notice.

Join some clubs, do some new activies in your area and you will make friends. They don't have to live next door to be a good friend, or even in the same town any more. I fear even if you move you'll contiune to project these issues onto people where ever you move to. So you need to just do whatever you want, and not worry about what everyone else is thinking or doing, as honestly they are probably more worried about their own problems to give you a second thought.

PasturesNew

We moved when I was 10 and the other kids in the houses near us weren't allowed to play with us .... we'd moved from a council estate and we played outside on Sundays. Their kids weren't allowed to play on Sundays and they all went to church instead.

We were probably feral brats by comparison ..... you live your life in the same way that you're used to - when you move to a new area the people there are used to a different style of living .... and if you're seen as the feral lot then they will be keen to keep their distance for some time.

It was years before any neighbours spoke to my parents, by the time they'd retired and moved 350 miles away, the old neighbours were having holidays near to them and visiting for coffee!