Invited to wedding but without baby - help!

Luella-14_2

notanewuser wrote: »

Only occasionally? My memory is hazy, and I know they're all different but I'm sure at under a year there should still be night feeds. Dropping night feeds is the fastest way for supply to drop too.

My twins have slept through from about 3months, very rarely waking for a feed. I thought I was lucky but am now slightly worried.

I like the idea of asking parents to babysit in the hotel and them spend the night there, although obviously depends on money. If not possible, I'm of the school of thought that they'll find a way to manage, at 10months you're allowed an evening out.

Primrose

I'd be worried that a screaming baby would ruin the seriousness of the ceremony for the couple and be very distracting for everybody. It's their special day and they will have put a lot of time and effort into planning it, so on balance I'd pull out and explain why. They were probably hoping that by not including the baby on the invitation you would be making alternative arrangements. I know of one couple who had arranged to have their wedding service recorded and it was completely ruined by a crying baby throughout the wedding vows. Best not to be for ever remembered as the couple whose baby wrecked their wedding service!

princeofpounds

I'm getting slightly confused at some of the replies, I'm not sure if all of you are parents?

Delaying a feed during the day usually isn't an issue, its the pre-night feed which I don't think many people are able to avoid, unless I'm being mis-informed?

Believe it or not, babies do not spontaneously combust if they miss a meal.

Anyhow, I hope you get it sorted one way or the other. You sound like worriers but you clearly also care for your child.

gunsandbanjos

Carmina-Piranha wrote: »

She told me that they wanted to exclude the children of one of her OH's siblings, and the only way to do that without causing offence was to exclude all children.

We did this, my now ex husbands siblings are a total riot and I didn't want them anywhere near (he agreed) so we excluded all children. I did feel really bad that it meant we didn't have some of the lovely children from my family there but we felt we couldn't just exclude one bit without massive offence!

freebiequennie

As a maternity night nanny and babysitter I often look after children at wedding venues either in a room/cottage/etc on site sometimes because children are not invited and sometimes because parents want to enjoy wedding breakfast n eve child free. I have even had 3wk old twins were mum nipped up to room every 3hrs breast fed and went back again this was from 1pm-3am!!

Edwardia

When we got married we specified no babies. My brother and SIL turned up with their baby (everyone else made other arrangements) and the kid bawled the entire way through the ceremony.

I was a hairbreadth's away from whacking SIL over head with bouquet bc she didn't have decency to take the baby out of the church into an ante-room when it started crying. The soundtrack on the CD has wailing baby drowning out the vicar.

So parents, you may be besotted with your bundle of preciousness but a wedding isn't about you and yours, it's the couple's day.

Gloomendoom

When I was looking around for local wedding reception venues, I remember one insisted that a nanny was hired if young children were to be invited.

notanewuser

Edwardia wrote: »

When we got married we specified no babies. My brother and SIL turned up with their baby (everyone else made other arrangements) and the kid bawled the entire way through the ceremony.

I was a hairbreadth's away from whacking SIL over head with bouquet bc she didn't have decency to take the baby out of the church into an ante-room when it started crying. The soundtrack on the CD has wailing baby drowning out the vicar.

So parents, you may be besotted with your bundle of preciousness but a wedding isn't about you and yours, it's the couple's day.

I agree, to a point (having had about 10 little darlings screaming through ours). In the 10 years since our wedding we've watched our video................ once. However, our memories of the day include most of our dearest family and friends, and that includes their children. If it's all about the couple then elope. If you're doing it with family and friends then IMO you take them warts (children) and all.

We attended the evening do of a neighbour's last year - they were very clear that DD wasn't invited. I did feel a bit hard done by when we were there and the bridesmaid's daughter (very overtired and screaming) was there when we'd left DD (very well behaved and characterful little night owl of almost 3) with her grandparents. That was compounded when there was no food provided for vegetarians. Had I known before I don't think I'd have gone.

Bella73

notanewuser wrote: »

If the baby isn't invited I suspect its because they don't come with a "mute" button, rather than a feeding issue!!!

To be fair not the only reason.

We didn't invite children to our wedding because it has limited numbers and a person was classed as just that a person, whether they were a day old or 100 years old.

So to be able to invite our adult friends we didn't have children, only our niece and nephew.

Kynthia

Could your baby spend a night at your parents as a trial run with some expressed milk and a bottle/cup? If they won't take expressed breast milk but do take water, would they take a one-off bottle/cup of formula? Otherwise there's a good chance that if you try everyday for a month you could get your baby to take milk from a bottle as a couple of friends have been through this stressful experience. All of this depends on how much you want it to happen.