Invited to wedding but without baby - help!

Nicki

It sounds like you and your wife are equating missing one night feed at 10 months with stopping night feeds permanently at 10 months, when the two things are really not the same.

Missing one bedtime feed at this age will not cause your child any harm particularly if there are other drinks on offer, though he may well prefer to have a breastfeed and cuddle from his mum before being put to bed. I'd even go so far as to say vastly prefer this! But missing this once will not mean he goes to bed hungry, or suffers any risk to his nutrition or affects your wife's milk supply in any way, as a one-off occurrence. So if you want to attend the wedding, worries about the baby shouldn't mean you can't attend. He may well be cross with granny and grandpa and take a bit longer to settle without his bedtime feed but he will be fine.

As you asked, I have 3 children aged 14, 13 and 5 who were all breastfed. So this advice is offered from personal experience.

retepetsir

Thanks Nicki

cgk1

vroombroom wrote: »

I went to a wedding ceremony last summer and half way through, the bride turned round and asked whoever's child was screaming, please could she remove them as she couldn't hear the registrar

I was best man at a wedding where kids just screamed and screamed and screamed all day - we were going married the same year and instantly wrote "no kids" at top of list.

maman

burlington6 wrote: »

Take a break for one day. it won't do you or your child any harm.

retepetsir wrote: »

I'm not so worried but my OH is, she's spent most of his life with him so to leave him for 10 or so hours is challenging for her, as he is her life at the moment and he relies on her for certain things.

You've been given loads of detailed practical advice on breastfeeding, routines, childcare etc etc but I think it's your OH's dependency that's the real issue.


Personally I think she's making a mistake to make the baby 'her life' but that's entirely her own choice.


This is an opportunity for you to get dressed up, go out as a couple and mix with other adults. I'm sure grandparents could cope. I'm sure baby would cope. It depends how much you both want to make it happen.

lostinrates

balletshoes wrote: »

I,d think the opposite ~ unless the children were mentioned on the invitation, i,d assume they were not invited.

I'd not assume anything, but if I were inviting some one to my home and for some reason wanted no kids I can imagine there are limited occasions where I might feel differently about a baby to an 'older child'. ( we tend to feel children are pretty welcome)

Babies young enough to sleep in various people's arms, or be popped in a bed when they settle, that drink milk rather than throw food over expensive clothes ( even if they do this at home usually I agree its an important thing) they are after all humans, and I accept they might need their mummy while it would be nice for us to have their parents, and their parents to get out, for very adult social stuff. There are some occasions where precocious and excitable toddlers to mid teens might not be desirable, but a baby? Wouldn't put me off. Might even cheer me up!

burnoutbabe

I would ask to take your car to the final location as you may need to leave early due to the baby.

retepetsir

maman wrote: »

You've been given loads of detailed practical advice on breastfeeding, routines, childcare etc etc but I think it's your OH's dependency that's the real issue.


Personally I think she's making a mistake to make the baby 'her life' but that's entirely her own choice.


This is an opportunity for you to get dressed up, go out as a couple and mix with other adults. I'm sure grandparents could cope. I'm sure baby would cope. It depends how much you both want to make it happen.

Yes you're probably right but it was a very traumatic pregnancy and birth with lots of issues, both nearly didn't make it, so she's obviously very attached. She'll be going back to work soon and is making the most of her time at home, taking part in lots of group sessions/classes/activities and seeing lots of friends.

We do mix with 'adults' regularly, but as a family. It will happen, I was mainly asking for advice or tips which I've received.

greeneggs_2

Personally I think it's not that unusual that a ten month old breast fed baby has only ever been put to bed by its mother.

Obviously it depends on circumstances, location of family etc but for my child and lots of other people I know that was around the age we started leaving him for longer periods of time and he was quite a bit older before I left him with someone else to put him to bed.


If your wife wants to leave the him and go to the wedding, then he will be fine and in all likelihood the grandparents will be able to get him to go to sleep. But, if she doesn't want to then that's fine too.

(Sorry I can't remember if the baby is a boy or girl and the neutral pronouns were making my sentences really awkward!)

notanewuser

retepetsir wrote: »

Yes you're probably right but it was a very traumatic pregnancy and birth with lots of issues, both nearly didn't make it, so she's obviously very attached. She'll be going back to work soon and is making the most of her time at home, taking part in lots of group sessions/classes/activities and seeing lots of friends.

We do mix with 'adults' regularly, but as a family. It will happen, I was mainly asking for advice or tips which I've received.

Don't feel sensitive about spending time with your baby. We don't live in victorian times - it's absolutely okay (and actually beneficial) to have a strong bond. Prioritising your child's needs over adult wants isn't a bad thing.

GwylimT

burnoutbabe wrote: »

I would ask to take your car to the final location as you may need to leave early due to the baby.

OP has already said there is no parking at the venue.