Invited to wedding but without baby - help!

hawk30

greeneggs wrote: »

Personally I think it's not that unusual that a ten month old breast fed baby has only ever been put to bed by its mother.

Obviously it depends on circumstances, location of family etc but for my child and lots of other people I know that was around the age we started leaving him for longer periods of time and he was quite a bit older before I left him with someone else to put him to bed.


If your wife wants to leave the him and go to the wedding, then he will be fine and in all likelihood the grandparents will be able to get him to go to sleep. But, if she doesn't want to then that's fine too.

(Sorry I can't remember if the baby is a boy or girl and the neutral pronouns were making my sentences really awkward!)

Yes, mine's 1 and has never been put to bed by anyone other than me or OH. In fact, I think we've only ever left her with a babysitter about 3 or 4 times.

OP, as notanewuser says, don't feel the need to apologise for having a close bond with your LO.

retepetsir

Well we've decided that we are still going as it'll be good for my OH to get out and do something different. I've been to the cinema, etc over previous months but she's not yet had the opportunity to do so as he's not really slept through the night until recently!

For a couple of nights this week I have actually been able to get him down to sleep for a few hours with a few sips of milk from a cup so that is promising. If it means he'll sleep until later in the evening then that's great. Next stage is to try a couple of bedtimes with my parents and see how they feel.

Thanks for the advice everyone

duchy

hawk30 wrote: »

Yes, mine's 1 and has never been put to bed by anyone other than me or OH. In fact, I think we've only ever left her with a babysitter about 3 or 4 times.

OP, as notanewuser says, don't feel the need to apologise for having a close bond with your LO.

Likewise don't feel the need to apologize for otherwise. All families are different

hawk30

duchy wrote: »

Likewise don't feel the need to apologize for otherwise. All families are different

Oh of course. I didn't mean anything different (I wasn't being snide). It's just a few of the posting seemed to criticise the OP for being hesitant to leave their LO.

Flugelhorn

DS was 10 months old and breast fed when I ended up in hospital. In laws happened to be with us at the time and along with DH managed to entertain / feed him etc. He carried on breast feeding when I got home - ultimately stopping another 20 months later.

I was worried about him but actually they do survive / don't starve and can be entertained by others at that age.

maman

hawk30 wrote: »

Oh of course. I didn't mean anything different (I wasn't being snide). It's just a few of the posting seemed to criticise the OP for being hesitant to leave their LO.

hawk30 wrote: »

Yes, mine's 1 and has never been put to bed by anyone other than me or OH. In fact, I think we've only ever left her with a babysitter about 3 or 4 times.

OP, as notanewuser says, don't feel the need to apologise for having a close bond with your LO.

duchy wrote: »

Likewise don't feel the need to apologize for otherwise. All families are different

I suppose I was one of the 'critics'. I just gave my opinion that the OP has been given loads of advice on how to accommodate the baby's needs and their wants at the same time.I did acknowledge that it was the family's choice whether they went to the wedding or not as it is similarly their choice whether to make the child's routine paramount.


Having heard that the mother intends to return to work, I am even more confident that they should try to start accommodating adult life alongside the baby.

JustKeepSwimming_2

When we got married we only invited adults (as we we're having the evening reception on a boat which only catered for over 16's). We also told those couples with kids that it was an adults only wedding, & nobody appeared to mind.

On the day however, ex's aunt & uncle bought their 2 kids (9 &6) along - they ran about the hotel where we married for most of the day, complained about the food (as we'd not unreasonably ordered only adult food) so we had to pay for 2 extra special meals for them, rearrange tables, & then aunt & uncle had a row with us as their kids weren't allowed on the boat :mad:

They claimed to have forgotten our conversation about kids (& evidently didn't look at the invitation which said adults only either). They even argued with the skipper of the boat for 15 minutes, delaying our sailing. In the end the dad stayed with them, & the mum mithered about it loudly to all of our guests - one of my main memories of my wedding is how they overshadowed a lot of what should have been our day, & made it all about them.

OP - I hope you both have a lovely time & my ranting isn't aimed at you at all - rather at those who feel their own wishes & kids are far more important than anyone elses

I'm now happily divorced & no longer have to listen to his families stories of how I spoiled the wedding by not wanting kids there (forgetting all about the boat's H&S requirements :wall:).

Carmina-Piranha_2

I'm amazed that they expected 'child food' at a wedding, what exactly is 'adult' about food anyhow? How rude of them!

lilmissreading

We stated no children on our invite. My request due to cost, space and noise in the ceremony fears. My Irish aunt and uncle have four children who were teenagers at the time. They asked my mum to call me and check the no children rule. i confirmed. there were tears and tantrums. I said they weren't people I knew well (any of them) and that I would understand if it was too difficult for them to make it (hoping to invite some evening guests who were friends instead).

My uncle rsvp-ed for himself, my aunt and their two daughters. Arguements ensued (all through my mother) and eventually she said she would pay for the girl's meals. On the day the two boys came as well. I had the hotel demanding money and seating solutions while I was getting ready for my wedding day, plus they turned up in jeans which looked out of place in the photos. I told the hotel to discuss it with my aunt and uncle.

When I went round the tables none of the children had eaten any of the 'adult food' - butternut squash risotto was their choice I think - and none of them had a word to say to this cousin (me the bride) they'd met 2 or 3 times in their life.

I javen't seen any of them since. They made up an 1/8 of our total number of guests. Waste.

greenwoodlad

We were invited to my friends wedding - I was going to be an usher - but our 3 young children were not on the invite...we had a decision to make and they would not relent - they wouldn't have the kids at the wedding - so we said we wouldn't be going ..very difficult - our relationship with them has never been the same since - but our kids are our family ...that's it! Weddings are surely a time for families, children all to celebrate, we had children at our wedding and i think there were a couple of noisy ones ...mums took them out for a few minutes...why would you expect all your family & friends to leave their own children at home ...weddings are family celebrations:):)