Is he being immature?

seven-day-weekend

Person_one wrote: »

Ugh, I really hate it when adults think sulking is an appropriate response to a disagreement or disappointment.

Yes, you should have said thank you (although as his cousins and friends organised the day out you should both be thanking them too, did he?) but he's seriously overreacting and wanting you to fawn over him till he's feeling big enough to forgive you is not on.

Sorry if I'm a bit harsh, but I've dated sulkers and worked with sulkers and I've no patience for it over the age of about 5!

I too hate sulking. How childish.

Yes, the OP should have expressed how much they'd have enjoyed the day. However, he is acting like a spoilt brat. I would be very wary.

seven-day-weekend

missbiggles1 wrote: »

Perhaps he isn't sulking but giving some thought to the future of the relationship.

In which case he should be upfront about it and not just give the OP the silent treatment.

tattycath

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

In which case he should be upfront about it and not just give the OP the silent treatment.

Maybe, if he is indeed giver her the silent treatment, alarm bells should ring for her as to whether this is the right relationship for her.

HPoirot

susieq87 wrote: »

i didnt speak to him since monday morning when i called him and he said he was busy. i asked him to dinner last night but since that 5 second call on monday i hadnt heard from him until yesterday when i texted him asking if everything was ok

He is taking stock of the relationship. You never know, there may have been other things that have had him thinking recently. I am sure this is relatively normal 2 months into a relationship.

DUTR

January20 wrote: »

So, am I the only one then who does things for people because I want to make them happy (I dare not put capitals for fear of being accused of shouting!) and not because I want them to be eternally grateful and say thank you profusely?

I believe manners are very important but reading some of the posts here it seems some people only do stuff for others so they get a big thank you. That is so wrong! A thank you is the icing on the cake when I treat somebody. Assuming the OP has always shown good manners previously, I think her partner is over-reacting and more than a tad immature!

I agree with the idea of your post, although the actual content 'to make them happy' I don't agree with. I agree people need not be or expect eternally grateful, however me personally I adopt a policy of why do something for nothing, when I can do nothing for nothing?

Tropez

DUTR wrote: »

I agree with the idea of your post, although the actual content 'to make them happy' I don't agree with. I agree people need not be or expect eternally grateful, however me personally I adopt a policy of why do something for nothing, when I can do nothing for nothing?

It could be argued though that you might enjoy making someone else happy and thus doing something nice for them is also doing something for yourself.

January20

DUTR wrote: »

I agree with the idea of your post, although the actual content 'to make them happy' I don't agree with. I agree people need not be or expect eternally grateful, however me personally I adopt a policy of why do something for nothing, when I can do nothing for nothing?

I'm not surprised by your answer because having read a lot of your posts in the past, I know you and I don't think the same way (I don't mean this in an offensive manner by the way - it's just a observation) but would you answer this question then: Don't you ever get pleasure from just doing something nice for someone?

This reminds me of an old episode of Friends in which Joey says to Phoebe (could be the other way round) that there is no such thing as a selfless deed. Indeed!

Hezzawithkids

OP: Two things are ringing the alarm bells for me:

1. He is sulking.
2. You are obsessing over his reaction.

You are as bad as each other. I know its a new relationship but is this the way to build a foundation for one?

The emotional blackmail that he is exhibiting can - if left unchecked - easily turn into the kind of borderline mental abuse where he controls everything you say and do and you spend all of your life trying (and failing) to please him. That may sound a bit extreme but some men never mature.

I also believe that you want this relationship to work but you also have to think about your own needs.

I think you've done everything you can to mend the fences. One of you has to grow up and move on from this incident, and from what you've told us I don't think it's going to be him.

DUTR

January20 wrote: »

I'm not surprised by your answer because having read a lot of your posts in the past, I know you and I don't think the same way (I don't mean this in an offensive manner by the way - it's just a observation) but would you answer this question then: Don't you ever get pleasure from just doing something nice for someone?

This reminds me of an old episode of Friends in which Joey says to Phoebe (could be the other way round) that there is no such thing as a selfless deed. Indeed!

Well yes, but only when not in a way to make them feel 'inferior' (and I'm not accusing anybody here of doing so), even if I say it myself, I am nice, and do nice things for people, although one has to be wary of those that take advantage of other people's good nature, hence the latter lines of my earlier post.

aileth

If you are generous and do nice things for someone, you shouldn't be doing them just to get a gold star and a pat on the head. You should be doing them because you want to do it for that person.

I wouldn't be happy with the sort of sulky game-playing at this stage.

Maybe you should've said thank you (though he shouldn't have expected it!!), but you've apologised to him now. If he's still being a baby about it, that's his choice. I'm not quite sure what he's expecting you to do?