Is he being immature?

tea_lover

susieq87 wrote: »

i didnt speak to him since monday morning when i called him and he said he was busy. i asked him to dinner last night but since that 5 second call on monday i hadnt heard from him until yesterday when i texted him asking if everything was ok

Yesterday was Wednesday. So you didn't have contact with him for one day (Tuesday). It does seem that the over-reaction has been on your part - not speaking for one day is hardly sulking and ignoring you.

Person_one

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

I think this is what it boils down to.

I can't abide bad manners. How hard is to say a simple "thank you"? No one is expecting anyone to bow down and kiss the persons feet (as has been mentioned in this thread), merely a simple "thank you, I really enjoyed today" would suffice.

I don't think anybody has actually said that manners don't matter. The issue is not whether or not she should have said thank you, it's how he's dealt with the fact that on this one occasion his girlfriend has forgotten, has made a simple mistake as everybody does at some time or other, as he himself will gave done many times I'm sure!

Buttonmoons

Whilst you should of said thank you for the tickets/food etc - it in no way demands a whole song and dance about it - you rectified that once he brought it up - your sincere apology should of been enough, this silent treatment for days is pathetic and the way I see it, a way of exerting some control over you. He is probably expecting you to fawn over him at dinner and thank him numerous times to compensate for forgetting at the time.

My boyfriend is super generous towards me, If I forgot to say thank you (and I have!) he'd probably make a little sarcastic remark to which I'd apologise and then thank him - over and done with and never mentioned again.

His reaction is not normal.

susieq87

tea_lover wrote: »

Yesterday was Wednesday. So you didn't have contact with him for one day (Tuesday). It does seem that the over-reaction has been on your part - not speaking for one day is hardly sulking and ignoring you.

i tend to speak to him everyday since we starting dating, either we are texting or on the phone so even though it is one day, after 2 months of constant communication that one day stands out a lot

tea_lover

Person_one wrote: »

I don't think anybody has actually said that manners don't matter. The issue is not whether or not she should have said thank you, it's how he's dealt with the fact that on this one occasion his girlfriend has forgotten, has made a simple mistake as everybody does at some time or other, as he himself will gave done many times I'm sure!

He seems to have dealt with it by:
- telling her what had annoyed him
- having one day without contact (Tuesday), possibly to have a bit of a think
- agreeing to meet for dinner

I really don't see where people are getting 'controlling, manipulative bully' from in that.

Georgiegirl256

Person_one wrote: »

I don't think anybody has actually said that manners don't matter. The issue is not whether or not she should have said thank you, it's how he's dealt with the fact that on this one occasion his girlfriend has forgotten, has made a simple mistake as everybody does at some time or other, as he himself will gave done many times I'm sure!

I disagree. I think the issue IS all about the thank you....or the lack of it in this case. Because she "forgot" to say thank you is the reason why he is reacting in this way.

It still puzzles me how anyone can forget to say thank you? It seriously does. It's something that we say numerous times a day, or at least it should be.

amus

I suppose it does depends on the person, personally, as someone who is quite 'socially awkward' I find manners and etiquette can sometimes be an absolute minefield (obviously I'm not talking about simple pleases and thank you's).

OH and I rarely say thank you to each other. We both have a mutually appreciative relationship where we do things for each other and it's generally accepted we are grateful for that without us needing to reaffirm it every two minutes.

burnoutbabe

we don't know that she didn't say thanks at all, during the day (when she got given lunch) or when told about the ticket.

We just know she didn't give a special final thank you after the day was over.

Georgiegirl256

burnoutbabe wrote: »

we don't know that she didn't say thanks at all, during the day (when she got given lunch) or when told about the ticket.

We just know she didn't give a special final thank you after the day was over.

I guess we don't. But I'm guessing that as he has an issue with her, and the above hasn't been mentioned, that she probably didn't.

January20

So, am I the only one then who does things for people because I want to make them happy (I dare not put capitals for fear of being accused of shouting!) and not because I want them to be eternally grateful and say thank you profusely?

I believe manners are very important but reading some of the posts here it seems some people only do stuff for others so they get a big thank you. That is so wrong! A thank you is the icing on the cake when I treat somebody. Assuming the OP has always shown good manners previously, I think her partner is over-reacting and more than a tad immature!