Is he being immature?

Seanymph

If you were my daughter I'd be concerned.

The thank you is a red herring - it's only relevant in as much as you did something that offended him. shine a light after 9 years of marriage I've lost count of the number of times we've offended each other!

His reaction is the issue. And it's not a good one.

It's this creeping conditioning that he is subjecting you to that would worry me.

There was nothing equitable over those days apart - the OP felt completely under the control of the b/f's responses. He chose to upbraid her for her behaviour, he chose the form of contact, the frequency of contact, and ultimately the terms to continue the relationship.

That is what would worry me.

January20

McCloud1 wrote: »

This illustrates what I'm trying to say perfectly. January20, you believe one expression to be rude and the other not, jaylee sees both as rude, and others see neither as rude.


It's obvious how honest mistakes occur!

This is correct, Cloud1, and it demonstrates how careful one has to be about using such phrases on a forum. In the context of this thread, I would have used neither phrase to discribe the op but then I try very hard not to insult people.

fin7

Bit different, but we took my brother for a birthday meal at a place we knew he'd always wanted to try, I knew by his reaction to the whole thing that he had had a good time and enjoyed himself.

I never took him expecting any thanks, I took him because I knew he wanted to go and I wanted him to have a good time, his reaction to the whole thing spoke volumes, I know he had a good time and that's good enough for me.

Georgiegirl256

fin7 wrote: »

Bit different, but we took my brother for a birthday meal at a place we knew he'd always wanted to try, I knew by his reaction to the whole thing that he had had a good time and enjoyed himself.

I never took him expecting any thanks, I took him because I knew he wanted to go and I wanted him to have a good time, his reaction to the whole thing spoke volumes, I know he had a good time and that's good enough for me.

Exactly the point I was making. You can usually tell by people's expressions etc (hence me using the slapped a*rse expression not to call the OP that but to describe her expression) if they've had a good time or not, it's usually pretty obvious.

If I could see that someone had enjoyed themselves then no thanks (although it's always nice) would be needed. I think a lot of posters are missing that fact and just assuming the worst of the guy. The OP's maybe got a history of being like she is, and the guys starting to feel abit cheesed off by it all? Hence the reaction.

He might turn out to be an absolutely control freak etc etc....but for now, I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt.

schwam66

susieq87 wrote: »

i am going to try and summarise this as much as possible without draining you all!

we spoke during dinner and he said he was upset about me not saying thank you because of the effort that had gone in getting the tickets, organising travel to accommodate me and felt that a smiple thank you woud have been nice and my apology was not very sincere since it was via text, i should have called him.
i explained that i replied to his message - if he had called me i would have spoke about over the phone.
on sunday (the day after the trip) his friends and family asked him if i had enjoyed myself and he said that he didnt know because i hadnt said anything to him about it. from there they started speculating as to why i wouldnt have said anything and he felt like maybe i wasnt all that interested in him so he decided to distance himself away from me.
when i asked him why i hadnt heard from him since the phone call in the morning he said he was still upset and if i had made conversation with him he'd have spoken to me but i didnt until wednesday morning to which he was surprised because he thought i was going to wait for him to contact me.

in a nutshell he said that he was drawing back because he thought i wasnt interested, he feels like he always have to initiate contact with me and carry the conversations (i am generally a quiet person) and from saturday it made him feel as though i really wasnt interested because i could have at least said something when i got home or the next day saying i had enjoyed myself because my silence made it seem like i hadnt.

guy sounds like a clown to be honest.....you apologized for not saying sorry dude needs to grow up...i honestly wouldnt put to much time into this guy if this is how he is going to be over such a small thing....especially to dog you to the friends and family by saying you hadnt said if you enjoyed it or not....i mean come on thats just low on his part to toss you under the bus infront of them like that.....i would move on this is a small petty thing imagine what he be like if it was something bigger.....all the best and goodluck

Flossie.

This ^^^ :T

DUTR

Flossie. wrote: »

This ^^^ :T

I don't think the OP is all that into him however so they may just be on different pages.

Indie_Kid

I think he's making a mountain out of a molehill.

I seem to remember a few years ago, meeting up with someone (just a friend) for the first time and forgot to say thank you. I emailed him the next day and said thank you for yesterday and how much I enjoyed it. (minus the fact he gave me his cold, which he apologised a lot for!)

geoffky

The guy is full of delusions..He "the big provider" who must be thanked..
Tell him and his ego to take a hike...He will be a nightmare long-term..