Is he being immature?

Tropez

McCloud1 wrote: »

Ps - 'face like a slapped !!!!' is a normal, not at all rude or antagonistic expression in some areas of the UK. I cannot comment as to whether it was intended as rude, just replying to those who boldly claim that it is not an expression...it is. Maybe not where you live, but the world doesn't begin and end there.

Nobody has claimed it is not an expression.

jaylee3

^^^ Ok then, yes, let's agree it is an expression, and it is a rude one. To say the OP had a 'face like a slapped ar*se' is not complimentary is it?!!!! No matter how many people pop into the thread conveniently, (150 posts in) to support who said it, by claiming it is perfectly 'normal' to say it.

But what's the point in continuing on this thread, she has made up her mind that her poor little wounded lambkin of a boyfriend who has probably spent half of his life spitting out his dummy and throwing his toys out of the pram, is the 'victim.'

God help her.

McCloud1

jaylee3 wrote: »

LOL. Captain irony strikes again!

Having a go for people for being rude, and then being rude themselves. I find it hilarious when people do that. Doesn't put them in a very good light does it?

And then trying to make light of it as if they are not in the wrong and it was 'just an expression.' No it wasn't just an expression, it was rude to describe someone who is shy and quiet and finds it hard to communicate with people they don't know, as 'having a face like a slapped @rse!' No good arguing though as some people will never admit they're in the wrong, or see anyone else's point of view for a split second.

FWIW OP, I would kick this guy to the kerb NOW. He is simply not worth the bother and hassle. The relationship is going to get worse, and his family sound dreadful.

Do not get involved with this family. Sounds like they're the same kind of passive-aggressive manipulative bullies as he is. People from the same family generally tend to be similar.

(I hope I haven't offended anyone with putting a couple of words in uppercase. Wouldn't want to offend the forum police.)

@Tropez (Forgive me, new to the forum and do not know how to double quote) - highlighted in red. I also make the presumption (rightly or wrongly) that people who are unhappy with its usage do not know it to be a benign expression...as otherwise surely they would have no objection?

purpleshoes_2

McCloud1 wrote: »

@Tropez (Forgive me, new to the forum and do not know how to double quote) - highlighted in red. I also make the presumption (rightly or wrongly) that people who are unhappy with its usage do not know it to be a benign expression...as otherwise surely they would have no objection?

Quite a tame expression in some parts of the UK, face like a wet weekend would be similar.

Person_one

susieq87 wrote: »

i took on the advice from my fellow MSE and talked to him about it. we are ok now though, i dont mind the hand holding, pda, pet names etc.

Sounds like he carried on regardless and you acquiesced to it if you ask me...

Sorry, I know I'm a cynic, but I'm not getting fantastic vibes here OP.

McCloud1

jaylee3 wrote: »

^^^ Yes it is an expression, and it is a rude one. To say the OP had a 'face like a slapped ar*se' is not complimentary is it?!!!! No matter how many people pop into the thread conveniently and randomly to claim it is perfectly 'normal' to say it, to support who said it.

But what's the point in continuing on this thread, she has made up her mind that her poor little wounded lambkin of a boyfriend who has probably spent half of his life spitting out his dummy and throwing his toys out of the pram, is the 'victim.'

God help her.

Whether something is rude is subjective, so it's only fair to judge by general consensus, not personal standards. Non-complimentary does not translate to rude.


Highlighted text is precisely the sort of thing I was referring to in the first paragraph of my first post.

jaylee3

purpleshoes wrote: »

Quite a tame expression in some parts of the UK, face like a wet weekend would be similar.

Yes, most people are intelligent and clued up enough to know that 'face like a wet weekend' is a similar saying, and that is also rude.

Funny how people think they can say what they want, and be as rude as they like, and think it's OK, because it's 'just an expression.'

The shoe would be on the other foot, if the same thing was being said about the people who think it's acceptable though.

But I am sure they will come and say 'no WE wouldn't be offended, WE would laugh it off.' Yeah right.

jaylee3

Person_one wrote: »

Sounds like he carried on regardless and you acquiesced to it if you ask me...

Sorry, I know I'm a cynic, but I'm not getting fantastic vibes here OP.

Same. Something just isn't sitting well with me here. Not sure why.

Tropez

McCloud1 wrote: »

@Tropez (Forgive me, new to the forum and do not know how to double quote) - highlighted in red. I also make the presumption (rightly or wrongly) that people who are unhappy with its usage do not know it to be a benign expression...as otherwise surely they would have no objection?

Next to the Quote button there is another button. Click that on the posts you want to multi-quote and then click reply. I believe there's a maximum of three posts that can be quoted in one post using this method.

The user you quoted said it wasn't "just an expression" which means they do recognise it is an expression, however they, like others here, consider it to be a rude one - and I can see why. By using it, you compare someone's face to assaulted buttocks. Even the forum you're posting on censors one of the words in that phrase.

The phrase exists where I live and it is considered rude. If I used it at work to reference another employee I'd be facing disciplinary action. If I used it to refer to a client, I'd likely be fired on the spot for it. The OP herself expressed some sort of unhappiness with the use of the phrase. It isn't a nice phrase to use, even if you do believe it to be harmless.

McCloud1

Tropez wrote: »

Next to the Quote button there is another button. Click that on the posts you want to multi-quote and then click reply. I believe there's a maximum of three posts that can be quoted in one post using this method.

The user you quoted said it wasn't "just an expression" which means they do recognise it is an expression, however they, like others here, consider it to be a rude one - and I can see why. By using it, you compare someone's face to assaulted buttocks. Even the forum you're posting on censors one of the words in that phrase.

The phrase exists where I live and it is considered rude. If I used it at work to reference another employee I'd be facing disciplinary action. If I used it to refer to a client, I'd likely be fired on the spot for it. The OP herself expressed some sort of unhappiness with the use of the phrase. It isn't a nice phrase to use, even if you do believe it to be harmless.

Thank you very much, I've found it.


I understand what you are saying. I just felt that everybody assumed that the intention behind it was to be rude, purely on the basis of the expression, and just pointed out what I felt to be the obvious flaw in that.


When it comes to rudeness, I believe that the intention is more important than the recipient's reaction. Human communication is not an exact science and kicking off over an innocent mistake seems wasteful.