Is he being immature?

Tropez

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

It was actually me who used the phrase "face like a smacked a*rse" first, so I don't know why everyone is having a go at missbiggles?

Because there is hypocrisy in missbiggles using the phrase given that she had previously chastised another for what she perceived as rudeness. The phrase is rude.

It's akin to when the grammar police show up and chastise someone for the use of a word in an incorrect context and during said chastisement make seven spelling mistakes and misuse a comma.

DUTR

jaylee3 wrote: »

:T Excellent post.

Sadly some people have no emotional intelligence, they will never admit to being wrong, and they will not apologise.

Trying to wriggle out of it by making out it was 'just an expression,' and trying to make out everyone who is offended is foolish for being offended, just proves they know they're in the wrong, but will not admit it.

This kind of person will turn the tables on others and try to pick faults with them when they are being called out on something, to highlight their own shortcomings, But they will NEVER back down.

Hmm, that describes many of the respondants on the thread.
Not sure where the apology comes into it though, people are free to beleive what they wish, it would be a boring place if everybody thought and acted the same way.
I'm not going to touch on the bullying thing, as victims come in all shapes and sizes.

Cottage_Economy

susieq87 wrote: »

i actually agree with everything you have just said in this post :T i think there is some confidence lacking and a need to please from his side that he quickly retreats into his little shell in order to protect himself from potential hurt. i think i need to dig deeper into his past to find out what wounded my poor baby

!!!!!!???

Do.Not.Go.There.

It is not your concern about what has happened in the past, only the way he relates to you in the present. Stop treating him like a child.

Do not make excuses for bad behaviour from anyone on the basis of their past.

He is not your baby. He is a man, an adult, a grown up.

DUTR

artbaron wrote: »

The OP has detailed the classic signs of a controlling personality under whose influence she has apparently already fallen. I guess some people need to learn the hard way.

Well there is one thing we all appear to agree on..... that is that they go their seperate ways, the reasons doesn't really matter, as both will hurt otr be hurt by the other's actions or lack of them.

purpleshoes_2

susieq87 wrote: »

i actually agree with everything you have just said in this post :T i think there is some confidence lacking and a need to please from his side that he quickly retreats into his little shell in order to protect himself from potential hurt. i think i need to dig deeper into his past to find out what wounded my poor baby

Your poor baby who chose to discuss this with his family and then set about ignoring you.

What age are you both? Late 20s?

I think the pair of you could have handled aspects of this better, but given your previous thread about him, maybe you should dig deeper and have a think about whether you really do care for him or whether if you take away the drama this relationship is worth having.

susieq87

Person_one wrote: »

Are you a counsellor? A psychiatrist?

Honestly, that OTT, drama-queen, hand-wringing, woe-is-me, attention-seeking so called 'explanation' would have just made me roll my eyes and tell him it wasn't going to work out (I do have a low tolerance threshold for silly boys admittedly, but still!)

Do you really want a relationship where you spend all your time walking on eggshells and fawning over your 'poor baby's' ever so delicate little feelings? You're young, it's a new relationship, it should be fun and sexy and you should both be walking round grinning at this point.

:rotfl: i guess we will have to see in 12-18 months! from the advice received from this thread i am going to give him benefit of doubt because i can see both sides being argued here.
i believe that knowing where someone has been explains alot on how they are now. i do not think that i am push over nor will i be walking on egg shells with him, instead i am going to be keeping a close eye in case those poster who said he is manipulative/controlling are right. at the same time there are the posters who said i was probably rethinking the relationship again, a view which i understand.

your advice is not falling on deaf ears.

purpleshoes_2

You made a thread about him moving too fast, how did that resolve itself?

susieq87

purpleshoes wrote: »

You made a thread about him moving too fast, how did that resolve itself?

i took on the advice from my fellow MSE and talked to him about it. we are ok now though, i dont mind the hand holding, pda, pet names etc.

Acc72

purpleshoes wrote: »

You made a thread about him moving too fast, how did that resolve itself?

Sorry OP, I read the first post, some of the more recent posts and skimmed in between.


If I understand correctly you previously posted about him "moving to fast" and you are now posting because he is not calling / texting you as frequently as you would like ?

McCloud1

It's interesting how a fair few people in this thread are able to accurately assess a man's personality and worthiness from such a miniscule amount of information given by somebody unable to interpret it. You people truly are exceptional.


OP - No comment one way or the other on what occurred as it's resolved. Glad to see you are listening to your own thoughts, as you are the only one here who knows him.


If you really feel you want to find out what's hurt him then that's obviously your call, but I would advise waiting for a little while. It may transpire that you don't work in a few months, in which case you may as well enjoy the honeymoon period now, rather than spending it extracting something painful for, ultimately, no reason.


Best of luck to you both.


Ps - 'face like a slapped !!!!' is a normal, not at all rude or antagonistic expression in some areas of the UK. I cannot comment as to whether it was intended as rude, just replying to those who boldly claim that it is not an expression...it is. Maybe not where you live, but the world doesn't begin and end there.