Is he being immature?

amus

missbiggles1 wrote: »

Perhaps he isn't sulking but giving some thought to the future of the relationship.

Because she didn't say thank you!? Christ I wouldn't like to see his reaction if she had actually done something worthy of ending a relationship.

Lily-Rose_3

missbiggles1 wrote: »

Don't you think that's like a child who just says "Soz" and thinks that makes it all right?

I think that anybody might have doubts about continuing a relationship with someone who didn't have the manners to say a simple thank you after being treated to an expensive day out.

(And please don't shout at people who happen to disagree with you, that's also pretty bad manners.)

No, actually, most people WOULD NOT. Because it's PATHETIC.

Clearly you would.

Speaks volumes.

burnoutbabe

its hardly being taken to the Ritz? its a day out at alton towers with his family. Cost of approx £25? (if using a 2 for 1 ticket) and a lunch of £15 or so.

I'd have said thank you for at the time of asking and when not having to pay for lunch - though surely there was some time when you could also pay - for coffees/cokes later on? snacks for way home.

tea_lover

Lily-Rose wrote: »

No, actually, most people WOULD NOT. Because it's PATHETIC.

Clearly you would.

Speaks volumes.

I certainly would (and yes, I appreciate I am one person, not most people).

If I had arranged and paid for a day out I would expect a thank you. Not getting one would make me think about whether this was the kind of person I wanted to be with.

Oh, and the shouty capitals thing and the insults are very immature.

Lily-Rose_3

amus wrote: »

Because she didn't say thank you!? Christ I wouldn't like to see his reaction if she had actually done something worthy of ending a relationship.

EXACTLY! Anyone thinking of ending a relationship because their partner did not say THANK YOU for something is a petty, pathetic, control-freak who does not deserve to be in a relationship with ANYONE.

I would actually start running away from this boy and this relationship. And not look back!!!

I fear the OP will not do this though and will be stuck with this manipulative bully.

amus

missbiggles1 wrote: »

Don't you think that's like a child who just says "Soz" and thinks that makes it all right?

I think that anybody might have doubts about continuing a relationship with someone who didn't have the manners to say a simple thank you after being treated to an expensive day out.

(And please don't shout at people who happen to disagree with you, that's also pretty bad manners.)

The OP is not a child to be chastised. It's not the job of a partner to chastise and punish for an apparent (minor) oversight.

If it was me in this guys position I wouldn't have even said anything regarding the non-thanking, I would chalk it up to an oversight, let it go and see what happens next time. And if I did feel the need to mention it, if an apology was forthcoming, I certainly wouldn't feel the need to drag it out, because I don't enjoy making people feel bad about themselves.

Lily-Rose_3

tea_lover wrote: »

I certainly would (and yes, I appreciate I am one person, not most people).

If I had arranged and paid for a day out I would expect a thank you. Not getting one would make me think about whether this was the kind of person I wanted to be with.

Oh, and the shouty capitals thing and the insults are very immature.

Well ending a relationship with someone for not saying THANK YOU is a lot more IMMATURE than using capitals to emphasise points.

Is that the best defence you (And miss biggles have) having a go at me for using capitals in my posts?

PATHETIC.

Tropez

missbiggles1 wrote: »

Don't you think that's like a child who just says "Soz" and thinks that makes it all right?

I think that anybody might have doubts about continuing a relationship with someone who didn't have the manners to say a simple thank you after being treated to an expensive day out.

(And please don't shout at people who happen to disagree with you, that's also pretty bad manners.)

But would you resort to short, sharp texts and go cold on contact for two days just to rub in how upset you were with the whole thing? What's that saying about two wrongs?

The OP forgot to say thank you - it's not really a big deal. My wife has perfect manners but she doesn't say thank you to me every time I do something for her, nor is my self-esteem so low that it's wrapped up in someone appreciating me as a benevolent giver of wonderful things.

Certainly what the OP did doesn't warrant being made to feel like crap. She apologised and while I don't think apologising automatically makes everything alright, at the very least it should open up a dialogue with the apparently wounded party where grievances can be expressed in a mature, reasonable and adult way. OP apologies and she gets treated like a child, with utter contempt and in a manner that is deliberately trying to make her very upset. That's a lot worse than forgetting an overused term of appreciation. If he was thinking about ending the relationship during those two days, then he should have said that. It is disgustingly unfair on the OP to be kept in the dark about something that affects her too.

Lily-Rose_3

amus wrote: »

The OP is not a child to be chastised. It's not the job of a partner to chastise and punish for an apparent (minor) oversight.

If it was me in this guys position I wouldn't have even said anything regarding the non-thanking, I would chalk it up to an oversight, let it go and see what happens next time. And if I did feel the need to mention it, if an apology was forthcoming, I certainly wouldn't feel the need to drag it out, because I don't enjoy making people feel bad about themselves.

EXACTLY.

I feel sorry for anyone in a relationship with anyone who thinks this behaviour is acceptable. Like I said, he is a mind-controlling, manipulative bully.

tea_lover

This is a relatively new relationship. If someone I'd not been seeing for long was already lacking in basic manners it would make me question whether I'd want to take things further.

It's not the same as when you've lived together for years and might forget to say thank you to whoever cooked that evening. For basic politeness to be missing that early in a relationship would ring alarm bells for me. Different things are important to different people - for me (and maybe the OP's partner), manners and respect are important.

I'd also manage to have a discussion about different points of view without resorting to name calling.

Manners are obviously more important to some than others.