Is he being immature?

susieq87

purpleshoes wrote: »

Sounds like way too much drama. Don't really know what else to say, but it just sounds like misery and Id be wondering whether he really was the person for me in the long term.

this situation had made me feel like that a little but he is usually very sweet which is probably why he got so upset about things. but i am now keeping a close eye because my biggest fear is to be in a controlling, manipulative, self esteem destroying relationship

seven-day-weekend

I too think it is a load of fuss over something not very important. So she should have expressed her thanks. Big deal. She has apologised, he doesn't think her apology was good enough. What's that about?

I do think however that maybe they could have spoken rather than texting.

I think he's looking for a way out, personally.

Cottage_Economy

So in other words his family put the idea in his head that you were not interested in him.

It's now escalated from simply forgetting to say thank you on the day, to a huge drama being blown up, egged on by his family, which has resulted in him doing a passive aggressive sulk and blaming your quiet nature as being responsible for things not getting better. You shouldn't have to change your personality to appease someone.

Let this guy go. If he's so influenced by his family over something so small, you'll be fighting much bigger things in the future. You've apologised, that should be it. It should be behind you now. The fact it isn't is because he's dragging it out and his communication style leaves much to be desired.

I've forgotten to say thank you to my husband at the time he's arranged something, and apologised afterwards for being lax. It's never once been an issue. In fact he's told me that he's probably forgotten to say thank you more times than I have.

God help your boyfriend when the really big things happen in his relationships if he's having such an issue over one isolated incident.

missbiggles1

It must have been really humiliating for him to admit that the OP hadn't said anything about the day to him, much less thanked him for the treat. Nobody likes being shown up in front of those close to them.

The fact that the family wondered whether she enjoyed it rather gives credence to the idea that she spent the day with a face like a smacked aarse as well.

seven-day-weekend

missbiggles1 wrote: »

It must have been really humiliating for him to admit that the OP hadn't said anything about the day to him, much less thanked him for the treat. Nobody likes being shown up in front of those close to them.

The fact that the family wondered whether she enjoyed it rather gives credence to the idea that she spent the day with a face like a smacked aarse as well.

You see, I'd have just have said, when questioned by the family , something like 'Oh I'm sure she did' and then talked to the OP privately about it. It should not have turned into a family drama. It's their business how they conduct their realationship, not his family's.

If he lets his family influence him in tiny things like this, it does not say a lot for their future relationship.

Cottage_Economy

missbiggles1 wrote: »

It must have been really humiliating for him to admit that the OP hadn't said anything about the day to him, much less thanked him for the treat. Nobody likes being shown up in front of those close to them.

The fact that the family wondered whether she enjoyed it rather gives credence to the idea that she spent the day with a face like a smacked aarse as well.

Not all of us walk around with a delighted enraptured expression on our faces or clap like trained seals when we enjoy something.

If the OP is a quiet person, perhaps even a shy person, then she may not go into violent throes of visible delight. It doesn't mean she hasn't had a good time or that she had a face like a slapped !!!!.

susieq87

missbiggles1 wrote: »

The fact that the family wondered whether she enjoyed it rather gives credence to the idea that she spent the day with a face like a smacked aarse as well.

well thats not very nice!

amus

missbiggles1 wrote: »

It must have been really humiliating for him to admit that the OP hadn't said anything about the day to him, much less thanked him for the treat. Nobody likes being shown up in front of those close to them.

The fact that the family wondered whether she enjoyed it rather gives credence to the idea that she spent the day with a face like a smacked aarse as well.

I really dislike this presumption that shy/quiet people are ignorant/ungrateful/have faces like slapped !!!!!!.

OP has said she is a naturally quiet person, I'm sure meeting her new partners family was quite overwhelming for a shy person.

As somebody who is incredibly shy (and having that shyness often incorrectly mistaken for ignorance) I take offence to this sort of presumption. Not everybody is a 'happy go lucky' character who feels confident meeting and engaging in conversation with new people.

Cottage_Economy

Susie, was this the first time you had met his family?

Tropez

missbiggles1 wrote: »

The fact that the family wondered whether she enjoyed it rather gives credence to the idea that she spent the day with a face like a smacked aarse as well.

Somewhat amusing that you would complain at others for posting in a manner that you found to be rude and then make that last comment.