Feeling really down about something fairly trivial. WARNING LONG WHINEY RANT!

jetplane

Stephb1986 wrote: »

I'm not saying you have a fat face but my mum always says there are never any wrinkles in a balloon

When the balloon starts to deflate there are

January20

On top of all the good advice that has already been given to you OP, I would suggest you look at your diet, not necessarily in terms of losing weight (that is not for me to say!) but in term of the quality of the food you eat. You say you are overweight so I will assume that your diet is not the best it could be? I find when I am not strict with my diet it very much reflects in my appearance, not from weight gain, but the look of my skin, the fact I don't sleep well, don't feel good, bags under my eyes etc. Makes me look (and feel) older. (I'm 51 btw)

Nicki

Leggings depend on body shape I think. I am 46, 5' 6" and a size 10/12 and work out at least 3 times a week but no longer feel leggings are a good look at my age. Slim leg jeans look and feel more flattering.

OP it sounds like you hope to be effortlessly youthful looking and are comparing your looks against younger women and women your own age who take positive steps to look younger. I think most of us look our age when the clothes and make up come off, roots are showing and we are standing despairingly in front of the mirror! You won't ever look like your daughter sister (and I don't look like my daughters sister either) but as others have said an image overhaul might make you feel happier.

lushplus4

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/4905104

I feel your pain, but at the same age as you this is what I have been doing, good luck

jaylee3

I agree with the comments that say your hair and image is probably ageing you. (Maybe your weight a bit too, as it’s apparently making you feel and dress frumpy.) Maybe try losing a stone or two. Not too much though, as a big weight loss can make a middle aged woman look very haggard.

My friend is 52 and was offered the pensioners discount for her lunch at the carvery a few months ago. It played on her mind for weeks. But she had a similar look to what you describe Flossie; a little short (5' 5",) and chubby, (size 20,) with tight leggings, baggy man's shirt, and slightly greying hair, pulled back into a severe pony tail, and she had little make up - as she didn't care about how she looked because she felt ugly being overweight. At first glance, you could think she was 60.

Then I saw her the other week. She had dropped 1.5 stone, (gone from size 20 to 16.) She had smart figure hugging black slacks on, a pink tee shirt, and a white shirt (unbuttoned,) over the tee shirt, and also colourful beads and colourful earrings. Also, her hair had been highlighted blonde and was not pulled back, but was 'fluffed' out, and choppy, and shoulder length, and she had pretty make up on.

I think that losing weight had made her feel more confident and pretty, and she was wearing clothes she wouldn't wear when she was size 20. She looked lovely, and at first glance, you'd think she was aged 42 to 43, and not her actual age of 52! A far cry from several months earlier when she was mistaken for a senior citizen!!!

The hair can make an enormous difference. If you have pulled back hair that looked like you don't care about it, it can age you. Having feathery, layered 'fluffy' hair can make you look five years younger before you do anything else!

And I agree with the poster that said a fringe is a good way to make a middle aged woman look younger, and I don't buy into the age-old belief that women should have short hair once they get to middle age! I think many women look good with a ‘bit’ of length.

I am not fond of bobs per se, but if it looks like THIS


that will suit a lot of women of many ages.

Also THIS is a cute style if you feel like having it a bit longer.



Good luck and keep us posted. And don't sweat the small stuff!

ali-t

Flossie. wrote: »

Well I am happy with me Victory. I think I scrub up Ok But when so many people are commenting it is making me feel down and blue, and making me wonder if I AM old looking and unnattractive

take photos of yourself in natural daylight and in the house and you will get a better idea what other people are seeing so you can establish a bit more objectively what you might want to change. The other option is to accept that you are you and they are the ones with the problem!

Free_Spirit_31

Not sure if it has been asked already, what is your skin care regime? Do you cleanse, tone and moisturise? Do you wear sunblock?

I know alot of women who just wash their faces or not even that, use a wet wipe and then put a full face of make up on.

Since following this thread I am now looking at people and guessing their ages now and looking at their image.

I am 31, I did have bad skin as a teen until 10 years ago, so I had to really take care of my skin with a twice daily skin care routine from the age of 11.

FBaby

I am 31, I did have bad skin as a teen until 10 years ago, so I had to really take care of my skin with a twice daily skin care routine from the age of 11.

I too had bad skin in my teens, but have never reverted to a routine further than wiping my face clean at night and using a day tinted mosturiser during the day, but my skin is probably the reason why I look younger than my age. I wear very little make up.

I have been told by a dermatologist that what keeps skin looking youngest in most cases is having had oily skin most on one life! Ironic that what made me so miserable when younger is now making me happy! He said that facial care should be minimal and using a soft soap and water is fine. Ultimately, what we can do for a younger looking skin in our 40s + is what we do to it when we are younger, that is protecting it from the sun, definitely not smoking, and plenty of fluids. The rest is down to genetics and nothing we can do about.

Free_Spirit_31

FBaby wrote: »

I have been told by a dermatologist that what keeps skin looking youngest in most cases is having had oily skin most on one life! Ironic that what made me so miserable when younger is now making me happy! He said that facial care should be minimal and using a soft soap and water is fine. Ultimately, what we can do for a younger looking skin in our 40s + is what we do to it when we are younger, that is protecting it from the sun, definitely not smoking, and plenty of fluids. The rest is down to genetics and nothing we can do about.

I agree about the oily skin, I had really oily skin as a teenager and was told that I still had to moisturise. I only use Simple soap as well. Also, I avoid the sun!

seven-day-weekend

I too agree about oily skin. I have had dry skin all my life, it is even drier now I am past the menopause, but I always remember my mum telling me when I was young to moisturise it to keep the wrinkles at bay when I was older, and I use gallons of the stuff. I've always moisturised, since I was about twelve and despite having dry skin, do not have many wrinkles for my age. I don't sunbathe and don't smoke, although I did until I was forty, gave it up in time. I also never use soap. Thanks Mum!