Feeling really down about something fairly trivial. WARNING LONG WHINEY RANT!

System

Hi

Why don't you have a look at the Frump to Fab thread here?

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/5000647

Lots of support, advice and encouragement there.
I don't agree with the jackyann actually, I think going grey young is different, and hair colour doesn't have to be expensive or badly done 'block' colour. I get mine done at a local salon every 6 weeks or so, costs me £30 and looks healthy and shiny. And if that's too expensive, lots of other people have tried local colleges with good results.

Also to lose weight (but only if you want to, no-one's saying you have to) try looking at the 5:2 thread here

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/4896529

A lot of people are getting good results and it's not too hard. I lost 1.5 stones last year in 3 months and haven't regained.

Right, enough from me, good luck, and give your lovely husband a hug, that'll make you feel better straight away

Cheers
Rosy

dandelionclock30

ska_lover wrote: »

Fearne Cottons only 32, don't remember her being overweight at all.

I know what you are saying ref Dawn French, she does definately look gaunt

I think the person might be thinking about Fern Britton.

seven-day-weekend

When my hair started going grey in my early fifties, I just left it, as I had seen plenty of women with beautiful grey hair.

However, it just made me look old. So off to the hairdressers and I now have it died a slightly lighter colour than my natural blackish-brown. It is just below shoulder-length and I have a fringe. My hairdresser says the colour and style still suit me now I'm 64. (That's me in my avatar ).

I am overweight, but apart from the fact that I have to wear clothes I don't always like just because they fit, I don't think this
make me look older.

I haven't worn make-up for fifty years!

To the OP, I would ask your hairdresser what they think will suit you, colour and syle-wise, and try to update your wardrobe. I'm sure you haven't suddenly aged - just need an update!

Don't take any notice of anyone comparing you to a seventeen-year-old.

Good luck!

Alias_Omega

I am in the 30-40yr old bracket, I understand that I am not 18 anymore however I do feel 20-25yrs old because I am active, I run 1/2 Marathons etc.


Age is just a number...


<-- Male


AO

FBaby

I'll be frank and say 'you can't have it both ways', that is, once you reach a certain age (and yes, anything after mid 40s would be the norm), you either look good for your age, or people don't think you do. The in-between blending in doesn't really exist any longer, let alone the 'she's overweight, doesn't make an effort to dress nicely, doesn't put make up on etc..., but she still looks really good for her age'.

In the end, you need to decide what matters most to you, either accepting that others don't see you or accept you the way you do, or put a lot of efforts to get other thinking you look good for you age.

It is a strange transition for any woman to go from getting attention from the way we look to feeling like we just blend in the background. The other day, I got trully excited because someone shouted 'nice bum' as I was crossing the road. My first instinct was to look around me, and when I realised it was only me around, I couldn't help getting a big smile on my face which i kept for the rest of the day. To think that once upon a time, I would have been offended and annoyed by it!!

Gra76

In my 20's I started to let myself go a bit and I was often assumed to be in my 30's and up until the last few years (till I was about 35) I was often assumed to be in my 40's.

Queue 3 sessions a week at the gym and a bit of calorie control over what I was eating and I found myself with a figure that would make most 20-something gym-rats jealous, much fitter and 3 stone lighter talking to 2 customers last week who were both adamant I wasn't a day over 30. No bad for being 38. I'll take that!

It seems you can turn back the clock but only if you work hard at it...

Mrs_Boo_Boo

I am 46 and think have finally started to look my age. Have always used a 50 factor on my face to prevent sun damage which helps,but obviously this doesn't stop the wrinkles totally. Have never been pretty,but vowed to work on my personality and make the best of what I have.
Think it's just a transition in life which I'm sure most people go through at some stage. Perhaps a few positive self help books could help with the psychological bits which is the best foundation. Think it's also the comparison with your developing young daughter. I feel now that once the world was my oyster,but it's not now. It's about a feeling of loss.
Think 2 rounds of IVF didn't help as you go through a chemically induced menopause so that must surely have some bearing.
The thing is the spark and zest for life which having worked with older people a lot stands out as so important. Combined with some outside work such as finding really flattering clothes and a great hair cut you will go far.
Think positive there's still plenty of life in you yet so get out there and life it.
Don't think you are overreacting at all yes it does seem very trivial,but it's important to you.
Working with older people has certainly taught me a thing or two and they always think you are young!!!!!!!

purpleshoes_2

Flossie. wrote: »

Awww, thank you for all your suggestions everyone. I think I need to maybe not change the blonde hair colour, but maybe get some streaks, and keep it down just above shoulder length, and let the natural curls fall. My husband said that my hair not being scrunched back but being loose and wavy instead takes 5 years off me. Thanks for the suggestions about a 'bob' but it doesn't suit me.

And maybe I should swap the leggings for trousers, and buy a few new outfits. I rarely buy clothes as I think I look fat and frumpy in most things. But maybe I need to try the 'correct' outfits for my shape. And maybe I need to wear a bit more make up. I wear very little and it's a bit old.

A friend online suggested lip liner to make my lips look full (they're already fairly full,) and some different eye make up make my eyes look larger (even though they are already large.) As full lips and large eyes are more youthful.

I also read somewhere that pretty accessories in vivid colours can help, and also nice nail varnishes. Could try that I guess.

And I think I would benefit from a bit of weight loss. Maybe a stone or two.

And yes I do feel blessed to have my lovely hubby. But no matter what he says I still take peoples comments to heart. Especially, as I said, when it's quite a number of people who are commenting.

I knew I wasn't going to look 21 forever, but to be mistaken for 60 at 48! That's a new low.

Thanks again though. You have all made me feel quite a bit better. :A

Its all down to personal preference. I actually prefer leggings to trousers, I have a few pairs of trousers and I rarely wear them. I think leggings and a tunic looks fine. I dont wear heels so I do wear ballet pumps and I think I look ok. If I was in trousers I wouldnt think so even if I did, its just not me. I dont dress a certain way because Im in my 40s as opposed to my 30s, I dress in a way that I find comfortable, which is most of the time very casual and I'll dress up more on a night out.

My mum is one of the youngest looking 65 year olds Ive ever seen, she has very few grey hairs, people have always been surprised she is the age she is, but I remember about 15 years ago she was asked in a pub where we had taken my gran for a meal, did she want the pensioners special. It happens

Im small and a year ago I was a large size 16 touching an 18. I didnt feel good about myself. 44 pounds later Im still a size 16 but Im comfortably in it and I'll be a 14 probably within the next few months. Im certainly not one of these people who drops ten pounds and a dress size, Im pear shaped, I'll always have that shape.

Getting a couple of stones off might make a massive difference to how you feel about yourself and your fashion choices might change as a result. I wear jeans on a night out now, a year ago I wouldnt, because if I had managed to get my bottom in a pair I dont think Id have looked good in them.

Keep a food diary, thats a start and start making changes to your diet, there are lots of threads on the boards where people are trying to make changes. I know some people say that if you lose weight you'll look gaunt, but only I think if people lose a lot, too much in some cases.

In a years time you could look and feel very differently about yourself.

Stephb1986_2

I'm not saying you have a fat face but my mum always says there are never any wrinkles in a balloon

perhaps it's time for a bit of a make over? You could try going into Debenhams or Boots for a make over/make up done, or try Debenhams personal shopper service to get you some new clothes to dress better for your figure?

It's stupid people comparing you to your much younger daughter, maybe you should make some comments back to them like it!

Gloomendoom

Stephb1986 wrote: »

I'm not saying you have a fat face but my mum always says there are never any wrinkles in a balloon

Ha ha! I just spat my coffee out reading that. :rotfl: