Feeling really down about something fairly trivial. WARNING LONG WHINEY RANT!

belfastgirl23

Just dropping back in

I would say its up to you whether you do the haircuts/colours, clothes, makeup etc. but losing weight can make a huge difference. As can the process of losing weight if you do it right, ie eat well and exercise regularly. It helps you to feel better from the inside not just paste something over the cracks. You feel better about yourself because you're doing it. And it will help you to age better physically if nothing else. My one piece of advice is to do this!

Kastanie

You know, those comments like "weren't you young and pretty and slim then?" really were just compliments!

Those people meant to say how lovely you looked on your wedding day. There was no sub-text or secret thought bubble saying "... and you look terrible now"! That's all in your own head! You've just interpreted it that way because you're not feeling 100% about yourself.

It reminds me of occasions when I've complimented someone on losing weight. If you say "wow, you look fantastic!" when someone's lost weight, isn't there always the danger they might think "great, so I must have looked a right fat so-and-so before and nobody bothered to tell me"?

But really the complimenter just wants to pay a compliment!

BlondeHeadOn

One thing I find that helps is to wear dresses, tops or jackets with sleeves that are 3/4 length rather than short or sleeveless. Arms can look very aging unless they are perfectly toned, and a 3/4 sleeve top or jacket hides the bad bits at the top while looking sassy and fashionable.


Some nice colours for the tops/jackets work well as well, like apricot, aqua or pink - looks fresh and youthful. Also nice floral or abstract patterned tops/jackets - not the 'upholstered' looking materials, but a light material that's bright and colourful - like Mary Berry made fashionable.


Hope this helps.

Kynthia

I'd suggest asking your hairdresser for suggestions about your hair style and colour. Fashion changes but also our skin and face shape can change slightly so what once suited us isn't necessarily the best option now. Fringes can be very anti-ageing but if you don't have wrinkles in your forehead then you can keep that option for later if you want.

Don't start wearing too much make-up as it can be ageing. However check you are using up to date colours, and things with light-reflecting properties and shimmer as they make you look youthful and fresh.

If you don't already, get your eyebrows done. Experts say that good eye brows are like a facelift and give structure to your face. If yours are faint then use a pencil to give them definition.

Wear clothes that have colour and interest, as well as accessories (which as you said give the impression if youth). Your clothes should have shape and the correct size us always flattering.

I personally think these things make more of a difference to how old you look than your weight. However if you want to lose weight then doing so will probably improve your confidence which makes a big difference and usually changes how people dress and style themselves. Good luck.

Kim_kim

ska_lover wrote: »

You know what hair style seems to be really flattering - and makes women look younger? Fringes. Every lady I see with one looks cute, and softer featured even well into 60's

I need me one of those

I was thinking about getting a fringe!! Cover the Gordon Ramsey (lol) forehead.

Flossie - ditch the t shirts & leggings, they should only be worn for cleaning & work outs.
Loose weight, it's ageing as you get older. Chubby cheeks are youthful on the young, get to a certain age & it stops being puppy fat & becomes ageing middle aged spread.
Ditch the pony tail, it's too hard, scraped back hair. Cover EVERY grey, they are mega ageing :-(

System

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

When my hair started going grey in my early fifties, I just left it, as I had seen plenty of women with beautiful grey hair.

However, it just made me look old. So off to the hairdressers and I now have it died a slightly lighter colour than my natural blackish-brown. It is just below shoulder-length and I have a fringe. My hairdresser says the colour and style still suit me now I'm 64. (That's me in my avatar ).

I am overweight, but apart from the fact that I have to wear clothes I don't always like just because they fit, I don't think this
make me look older.

I haven't worn make-up for fifty years!

To the OP, I would ask your hairdresser what they think will suit you, colour and syle-wise, and try to update your wardrobe. I'm sure you haven't suddenly aged - just need an update!

Don't take any notice of anyone comparing you to a seventeen-year-old.

Good luck!

blimey you don't look 64! :eek:

sorry thread hijacking!

some great advice in here, OP hope you can find something that makes you feel happier with yourself

seven-day-weekend

xXMessedUpXx wrote: »

blimey you don't look 64! :eek:

sorry thread hijacking!

some great advice in here, OP hope you can find something that makes you feel happier with yourself

Thanks. I'm glad to say I don't. It's in the genes

You'll notice I do have a fringe though. Had it all my life. My husband says its as much a part of me as his beard is to him

Morglin

I'm nearly 60, and thankfully still wrinkle free ( mainly due to genetics), but I never use normal soap, always use oil based natural soap, always wear foundation, if I go out, always have, and never sit in direct sun, without a sun hat.

I have never used moisturiser, and do smoke - so, just lucky I suppose!

But, my hairdresser did suggest, about a year ago, that I have a savage haircut, to shorten and shape to a long bob, and add a fringe - and it looks much better. I have a soft tint to cover the grey, which also helps.

But, to be honest, menopause does bring a bit of insecurity, esspecially if we are next to our gorgeous daughters lol

It's just a case of maximising looking as good as possible, with well fitting clothes etc., balanced make up, and a decent haircut.

Lin

Sandhy

People say all sorts of things and mostly say them without thinking!

I've had:

"You don't look like a single parent"!
What does a single parent look like?!

"Do they (my kids, one with brown eyes, one with blue) have the same father? "
Nosey parker (nearly said something worse lol)

"You don't look the type (to go to see live music/gigs)".
What does a 'type' look like?

"You don't look like a grandmother"!
As I don't have white hair in a poodle perm

A few more too but those ones will always stick in my head.

Flossie.

Oh wow, what a bunch of amazing people on here. :A

Many of these comments have made me feel sooooo much better. Especially the ones who say that when middle age hit them, THEY felt this way too. And it's a relief to hear from the ones who had also been mistaken for older now and again.

And yes it IS tough when people compare me to my daughter, but as a few have said, I guess it is probably meant as a compliment; (but not when someone says 'don't you wish YOU still had that figure?! And similar comments 'comparing' the two of us... :mad:) Occasionally it does feel like criticism of me, even of it's not intended to be. And yes, the dentist comparing our teeth is VERY unprofessional!

I feel a tad better after something that happened yesterday too; I was sitting in the car waiting for hubby to come out of the pub where he was popping in for the loo, and a man came to my car (he was about 40,) and said 'Are you Daniel's mom?' I said 'no sorry...' He said 'oh sorry, we are waiting for Daniel and his family; they're having a do for his 18th, and we're dropping our son off... we were told to look for a blonde woman in her 40s in a red car.' So THAT dude thought I was in my 40s.

PHEW! :rotfl:

Must be honest though: I had got my blonde hair down, and done nicely (choppy, shoulder length,) and with a fringe. Also nice make up, and a pink top with black leggings (sorry, got nothing else at the mo ) and pink beads and bangles. My hubby said I 'look younger today' when he saw me before we went out.

So I think the people who say that the 'image' makes a difference are right.

Thank you all so much. It was so enlightening to hear it's not just me!!! I'm so glad I posted this now: you've all been so lovely! :kisses: