Ladies - leaving men 'jobs' to do

marisco_2

ska_lover wrote: »

I personally don't, but does anyone else do this?

Surely just talking to each other, agreeing on what needs doing and who can play to their best strengths at any given task is more effective. Leaving an adult a list of expectations of jobs, suggests to me that a person doesn't trust their partner to see what needs doing, or that they will get on with it. Adult to child approach if you like, rather than equal partners.

annie_d

My husband is a school teacher and asks me to write a list for him to do when he is off. For this summer holidays the list is:
1 - Defrost the freezer
2 - Damp dust windowsills
3 - Water my plants


That's it.

He does do the daily tidying/wiping/shopping/vacuuming/dishwasher/washing/hanging out/bringing in clothes/bins/bed changing/bathroom cleaning as it is so the 2 things I have asked are extras. I really have nothing to complain about x

Goldiegirl

When I used to work on a Saturday morning, I used to leave the shopping list for my husband. But I think that's ok, as most people take a list with them when they go shopping.

But I didn't leave a list saying

1). Go shopping
2). Upon return home unpack shopping bags
3) Put shopping away
4. Make sure frozen stuff goes in freezer.

He was more than capable of working all that out himself!

CupOfChai

Mam would leave a list for my dad. And one for me, and one for my brother...

I don't leave lists for OH, but we tend to be in at similar times so I just ask him if there's something I want him to do and he's not noticed it needs done. Or if out I might text him to ask.

Skintski

I don't think I have ever left a list but I have asked him to do a couple of things on my way out or something. Just little stuff like please stick the washing on or can you file the latest lot of paperwork etc. Nothing too heavy.

Gloomendoom

marisco wrote: »

Surely just talking to each other, agreeing on what needs doing and who can play to their best strengths at any given task is more effective. Leaving an adult a list of expectations of jobs, suggests to me that a person doesn't trust their partner to see what needs doing, or that they will get on with it. Adult to child approach if you like, rather than equal partners.

Some over thinking going on here. To me it simply suggests that a partner may have a lousy memory, particularly if asked first thing in the morning.

rachiibell

I used to write my ex lists if he had a couple of days off or I was going somewhere for the weekend. They were always really easy, a maximum of ten items and it'd just be stuff like do the dishes, put a wash on, fold a load of laundry ect. And if I was going away for a while I'd put little jokey ones on there telling him to call me and reminding him how much I love him. And he would only end up doing half the tasks which tbh would p!ss me off because I'd get back from wherever and have several half done jobs to finish and all of the ones he'd not started!

gunsandbanjos

marisco wrote: »

Surely just talking to each other, agreeing on what needs doing and who can play to their best strengths at any given task is more effective. Leaving an adult a list of expectations of jobs, suggests to me that a person doesn't trust their partner to see what needs doing, or that they will get on with it. Adult to child approach if you like, rather than equal partners.

That relies on the other partner acting like an adult though. I'd ask my ex to do stuff in the house, it wouldn't get done.
I had many adult conversations about it and it made no difference, he was just a lazy sod who liked playing computer games instead.

I wrote lists, assigned my name to about 2/3rds of it and asked him if he was happy to do the rest? Bearing in mind I was working, doing a degree and 99% of the childcare.
Mine got done and guess what, his didn't. One more reason he's an ex.

picklekin

I don't do lists, but I do try and assign tasks if I'm going out for a while and he's not. I have to do this VERY carefully so he doesn't get into a teenage angst about "not being told what to do", maybe a note would be easier! He's actually very clean and tidy but some things he just doesn't SEE. However its the same the other way around and he asks me to do things, pick up milk etc... and I wish he would do it more if I'm home and he's not, but he doesn't like to ask me to do things which I find silly.

System

I think leaving lists is a bit demeaning to be honest. If I wanted something done though I'd ask straight out..... Not that I ask very often.