Ladies - leaving men 'jobs' to do

Owl

I do leave a list when he's home and I'm at work, at his request. 23 years in the Royal Navy has left him somewhat institutionalised and he needs to be told (his words!!) I leave a long list, but don't expect it all to be done.... Other times we both muck in together and get the jobs done!! It all depends really. He doesn't see it as patronising at all...

gsymoo

I don't leave lists for my OH but I do keep lists for myself. This does remind me of my old manager. She worked full time and her OH was stay at home and did everything (they also had children).
She had a wipe board so he could log everything he did during the week so at the end of the week they could review it together. She felt this was beneficial as it would make him feel valued - now thats demoralising...

PS - none of us were shocked, she was that kind of manager (she wanted to introduce a star chart into the office)

trailingspouse

I used to do this, when OH#1 worked away in the week. It was more a way for me to remember what I needed him to do, than a list for him. For example I might notice something on the Monday that needed fixing (and that I couldn't fix myself) - if I didn't write it down I would have forgotten by the time he got home on the Friday.

maman

PlymouthMaid wrote: »

Maman - I would just find it funny if he left me a list as I would have been doing all those things anyway without being reminded. Also if he was capable of 'seeing' the jobs and leaving me a list then I would not have to do him lists at all in the first place.

I think I must be the lucky one. My DH takes it upon himself to do all sorts of things IMO whether they need doing or not. So he hoovers every day. I don't think it needs it but if it keeps him happy, who am I to argue!:rotfl:

NiallB

One of my staff showed me 2 texts from her BF last week:

"Will you get milk on the way home?"

followed 2 minutes later by:

"When did we stop flirting?"

:rotfl:

wendz86

I will sometimes leave a note asking if he will hang washing out or buy some milk or something.

PlymouthMaid

Maman - I think you have a rare one there. I can leave the hoover in the middle of the kitchen as a hint and he will carefully walk around it all day unless instructed to actually use it

lilmissreading

Another one with a dh with a goldfish memory.

Since 15th May he has worked 2 weeks and 3 days. I work full time. we agreed he would do house tasks until he got a job and then we would go back to sharing. This never includes cooking as we both want to live.

I have tested out a hypothesis that without a list nothing happens. So far the clean drying has been waiting to be put away for about a week. Yes I could do it but then I end up spending all my time doing housework, working full time, cooking and he gets to watch Battlestar Galatica.

Since becoming pg I have made it much more obvious what needs doing as there are some jobs we used to share like emptying the bin that I stopped due to being sick.

We have a shared and separate list. I start one and get through what I can. When he's not working I ask him what he's doing and ask him if he can do some jobs. He'll say yes and add them to his list. He's another who do not 'see' many jobs and also uses his time inefficiently (from my point of view). For example while I am cooking he watches unless told what to do e.g. maybe you could do the washing up while this is cooking. Without this kind of prompt he will leave washing up for 3 days (longest I could wait) as he has 'no time' and I start running out of things to cook on and with.

I would love him to be able to see what needs doing but his brain just doesn't see it this way. This is our compromise. it stops him feeling guilty when I spend all evening doing jobs when I have been at work while he was at home all day :j

PS Interestingly, no I don't think this is normal! Never done this in a relationship before and he has effectively turned me into his mother! :eek:

Peter333

I never get given lists. Don't need them, as I'm a good boy, and do it without being asked.

jackomdj

We write lists. Sometimes I write them, sometimes OH does. Sometimes it is just a list and sometimes we will allocate names against tasks.