I need some advice :-(

marisco_2

Teenagers write all sorts of things in their diaries which they blow out of proportion, in an attempt to let off steam, pretty much safe in the belief that no one will read it. If at 16 your daughter had real concerns about you and felt as badly toward you as she has written, this would manifest more obviously in her behaviours and attitudes. Her school and others around her would pick up on it.

My advice is that you try to talk to her. Just keep it all casual and relaxed and take an interest in where things are at for her. See if she opens up to you any.

juicyl

aggypanthus wrote: »

She is a bit old to be going to movies with her grandad!

Disagree! Why, if that's what she likes to do? She'll treasure the memories when she's older. Children grow up so quickly anyway, I don't think we need to boot them into adulthood ourselves!

Morglin

Never, ever hack into social media accounts, or read another person's diary - it's a gross invasion of privacy.

Teenagers are drama Queens, and write all sorts of things.

Ignore it, and give her some privacy.

Lin

BigAunty

Perhaps the following applies to Diaries as much as social media, courtesy of the Big Bang Theory tv programme.

Howard: I can't wait to update my Facebook with this news.
Another character (reading the screen): Hang on, that's not right.
Howard: The Internet is no place for the truth!

Teenagers are self-absorbed. Diaries encourage the writer to jot down spontaneous thoughts and unedited stream of criticism. Ergo, a teenage diary is full of self absorbed nonsense.

venetianlagoon

Big, big, no, no reading teenage angst. You are asking for a whole heap of trouble if she finds out. Hormones are awash, she needs an outlet. Step away and let her vent.

lika_86

BigAunty wrote: »

Perhaps the following applies to Diaries as much as social media, courtesy of the Big Bang Theory tv programme.

Howard: I can't wait to update my Facebook with this news.
Another character (reading the screen): Hang on, that's not right.
Howard: The Internet is no place for the truth!

Teenagers are self-absorbed. Diaries encourage the writer to jot down spontaneous thoughts and unedited stream of criticism. Ergo, a teenage diary is full of self absorbed nonsense.

My favourite is this clip from Freaky Friday http://www.movieweb.com/movie/freaky-friday/you-read-her-diary

Poppie68

Blimey some of these replies have been rather caustic...hardly the crime of the century reading your teenage dairy...i got 3 daughters and ive read the odd peice of paper etc i've found round the house.
As for going in her room, someone was questioning this...well as this is my house and i have paid for everything in their room and the clothes on their back yes i will go and check their rooms are tidy, i will strip their beds(or they would never get done)..
And now to the issue in hand...OP my girls are all in their early 20's now but i remember everyone of them very well at 15, oh god they were horrible specimans. It was as if an evil switch was flicked on when they turned 15 and thankfully switched back off when they turned 16...there was something demon like about them, urgh gives me the willies thinking about it now...i'm sure if i had got hold of a diary i would of found i had accquired a few new names and none of them would of been fluffy!
Some of the things you have found written in her diary do seem extreme but maybe it's just a way to vent and not the way she really feels. Don't let on you have read it but now you are aware they may be a problem keep an eye out for anything you feel is not right. try and spend a little more time with her...try and get a babysitter for the little one and have a shopping day with lunch..maybe save one night a week for both of you to do face packs etc...if she is feeling down etc you may find the extra attention with either help ease her mind and thoughts or she may open up to you about how she feels.
Good luck..

Newly_retired

Now she has finished her exams ,and with the summer holidays coming up is a good time to sort out a few changes in the way you live and interact. Maybe you can afford to relax some of your restrictions over the summer, with no homework and light evenings?
Time enough come September to get back into routine, as long as you make her aware that will happen.
But seriously, at 16 she could marry.

Another thought is that she is missing her stepfather?

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Just wondering - if reading a diary is such a terrible thing to do as a parent - what do you say to people whose teenagers have committed suicide who documented their feelings and plans prior to the event?

That at least they didn't invade their privacy enough to potentially be able to realise their kids needed help?

teenageradvice

A little update...

Daughter got in from school at 3.30 and little one was still at nursery. Almost as soon as she saw the sheets blowing away on the line outside she said 'suppose you found my diary then'

I was very calm and told her that although what she has written was upsetting to me, if she wanted to talk about anything then she could. She said she didn't. I asked her why she was afraid to leave me alone with youngest and she said that if youngest is playing up (as 3 year olds do) and I get cross with her, she is afraid I will smack her.

I also told her if she genuinely wasn't happy at home and needed some time out then I was sure her grandparents would let her stay for a few days. She declined.

It was left there as I had to go pick toddler up. When I got home there was a note that she had gone for a walk and would be back later. I was worried sick while she was gone, given some of the content, that she would do something silly but she came home at 5.30 and has been skulking in her room ever since.

So thats it really. She knows I know, I think she is embarrassed, especially as I used some of your kind phases such as what teenagers write down and what they actually feel are two different things and that I know she probably does not hate me really.

Awful atmosphere right now but will try and speak to her again when toddler goes to bed.