I didnt like my wedding day - how to cope

time2deal

One of my friends had a full glass of red wine poured down the back of her dress at the evening do! By a mortified waitress who had to be sent home she was so upset.

Now its a funny story. I can fully understand being upset on or a few days after the event, but I can't understand stressing about it for much longer. Why cry over spilt milk! You can't change it. Although getting the pictures re-done is a good idea if you want to, but don't expect things to change that haven't changed (like... perhaps weight). Your husband loves you, learn to do the same.

A few things didn't go right on my day, including lots of annoying no-shows, but seriously all I remember was how wonderful the whole this was overall. Everyone had a good time (or didn't tell me otherwise) and we got married in front of so many people who we loved. Job done!

There is one great picture of us outside the church when we were a bit stressed as had to organise people onto a bus etc. We both look distracted and thoroughly miserable. We like to call this picture 'best day of our lives'.

retepetsir

Ours wasn't the best, mainly due to family causing problems because they didn't want to do certain things we wanted, go to places we wanted, etc.

In hindsight we shouldn't have been so nice and asked them, we should have just booked it all then told them afterwards. We were paying for it all anyway!

Don't worry, my other half keeps mentioning that she didn't enjoy the day due to the mess they had created but the important thing is that we're together

Morglin

beautiful_ravens wrote: »

Ive read your replies with interest, some are helpful and yes some are still useless!

To the prickly pears - 'get over yourself' is all very well as a harsh answer, but you dont mention how to.

Its now been a few more days of space and time.
The ceremony venue half-apologised for 'me thinking the organiser would be there', although it sounds like excuses;
Ive told the FB friends not to post pics online and to email them to us;
Im still thinking about having pro pictures done, because Ive never had any pics like that anyway;
Ive taken on board the fact that probably no one will revisit my wedding shots on their cameras/phones, and I probably wont either after Ive got some OK pictures to hang up. I may send out 'official' ones to the families.
I will black-and-white some of them to take away from the harsh flash and sweat effects.

As for the music - we chose 2.5 hours of tunes we felt a range of people would like, then another 2.5 hours of music that we and our same-age friends would like, but it was still a flop on the dancefloor! However, what youre telling me is that I should remember that me and my new hubby had a dance around towards the end and it was quite funny

I think youre right that I will forget the worrying details over time, some of this stress was obviously to do with the come-down after the mad organising.

Thanks to all you helpful posters, you did help.

The day itself has been and gone, and probably soon forgotten by anyone that attended, so forget the fact that the reception flopped - it happens.

If you are not photogenic (and many people aren't) book a session with a professional photographer, who will do good shots, get all your wedding finery on, get your make up and hair right for you, and do it. Get the groom to do the same.

Buy a couple of pics that are nice, stick one or two on your wall, if that's what you want, and scan off copies for family and friends that want one.

Lin

codemonkey

Why not download a free trial of photoshop or a free photo editing software package like gimp and 'fix' the photos you have? Its amazing what a bit of airbrushing will do and a professional photographer would have done that anyway. I recently made a photobook for my mum using low quality photos that people had taken and a few minutes in photoshop made all the difference.

ska_lover

time2deal wrote: »

One of my friends had a full glass of red wine poured down the back of her dress at the evening do! By a mortified waitress who had to be sent home she was so upset.

I'd forgotton about this, I had half a pint of lager slopped down the front of my white dress at my evening do, by a drunken relly trying to put their arm around me whilst holding a pint glass. The drunkard didn't even realise they had done it, and walked away. Ive never mentioned it to them, no point, certainly didn't ruin my day

cbrown372

Instead of a recreation of your wedding photos why don't you have a professional "trash the dress" shoot, have fun doing it, bin the dress after and get on with married life?

lika_86

codemonkey wrote: »

Why not download a free trial of photoshop or a free photo editing software package like gimp and 'fix' the photos you have? Its amazing what a bit of airbrushing will do and a professional photographer would have done that anyway. I recently made a photobook for my mum using low quality photos that people had taken and a few minutes in photoshop made all the difference.

Agree with this if you have any sort of computer skills - I edit all my photos in Photoshop and even on good photos it's amazing the difference a few tweaks can make and I'm by no means an expert. If you want me to take a look at one or two to see if they can easily be tweaked a bit, let me know.

bargainbetty

Just had to add my story. My brother's MIL got quite drunk at my wedding, and wanted to throw confetti over me. Indoors, during the meal. When I asked her not to, she shoved a handful down the front of my dress, and her watch clasp ripped the lace on the bodice of my dress.

My best friend has a picture of me, pointing at the woman in all my stick-on-nail taloned glory, with my husband holding me back by the upper arms, at the exact moment a lip-reader would be able to tell which part of 'Get the **** away from me' I was saying.

My mate had it as a screen-saver on her computer for years. It's one of the funniest pictures I've ever had taken, and I was laughing about it before the end of the honeymoon. It's not like I was going to wear the dress again anyway!

springdreams

If you do have the photos redone you will still know that they are not the "real" ones taken on your wedding day. I therefore don't think this will alleviate your feelings of discontent.

As others have suggested see if a professional photographer can photoshop the photos that were taken on your wedding day.

Also ask your guests to send you the photos that they took - you never know, one or two of them may have taken some really good photos that you do like.

The thank you card my brother and SIL sent to their guests after the wedding was actually made from a photo taken by a guest rather than one the professional photographer took.

And my cousin and his wife pulled together their wedding album from the photos taken by the professional photographer as well as their guests. The guests had taken some photos the photographer never thought to take, and because the guests had taken a lot, there were plenty of photos for my cousin and his wife to choose from.

Anatidaephobia

springdreams wrote: »

If you do have the photos redone you will still know that they are not the "real" ones taken on your wedding day. I therefore don't think this will alleviate your feelings of discontent.

Maybe. On the other hand, having photos redone might make the OP feel better and give her confidence and she'll have beautiful photos to display that do remind her of her wedding day. Only the OP knows how she will feel about new photos and even then she may not know how she feels about it unless she gets it done!