I've got a date tonight, going to her place, but I'm quite nervous. Advice?

kingslayer

StuC75 wrote: »

its called fishing for complements...and will reply in that way so that you explain further why you think that so that it builds up how they feel about themselves...

Or how you said it may have lacked any real conviction.

but you do need to realise what the likely limits on this relationship will be - kids will rightly be her priority so it may be a while before anyone else could be involved in that regards - maybe time that you can look to address what youre wanting from a relationship...

i do understand the children are her priority, nothing will change that, but it's the fact i have no idea where this leaves us. it just feels like the last 2+ months we've been speaking has just dissipated and has been ignored after one night.

This is the strangest feeling for me because i'm not really into casual hook ups. It's happened a couple times in the past in my late teens/early 20's, but since my mental health issues i've been single; haven't been on any dates and generally feeling less comfortable about casual sex.

it's just hit me quite hard this time. The fact that she's been so quiet for the last couple days is odd. I do feel like a broken record, but she mentioned to me personally and on her profile that she was looking for something serious.

That is what has confused me the most. She said after saturday she wanted to see me again, but now she's like a church mouse and I don't know what is going on. If she isn't serious then it would be nice to know for certain, instead of feeling like I'm in a place of utter bemusement.

Even if she thought I just wanted a casual hook up (which wasn't the case, and I never even gave that impression) it would be nice to at least know what is going on. I would like to know if she definitely wants to see me again, whatever it may be.

I've text her, but I don't feel comfortable calling her if she doesn't want to speak to me, but on the other hand, i want to know what is going on. She hasn't said she doesn't want to speak to me, but her replies have been few and far between, which isn't normal compared to before Saturday.

Should I just not text or call for a few days and see if she replies, or just call her tomorrow or something and try talk to her about it all?

It is all just a big headache right now. This situation doesn't help my anxiety, in fact it makes me feel like sh** right now.

kingslayer

RuthnJasper wrote: »

I feel soiled just reading this stuff...

No protection... posting about the poor woman's 'shirt potatoes' on a forum... Ye gods.

I just pray that we don't see you pop back on here in a few weeks' time after she's texted you to say that she's late in receiving her monthly visit from Auntie Flo...

Try and develop some self-respect, Kingslayer - http://www.wikihow.com/Respect-Yourself; and then work out how to respect other people (particularly those with whom you'd like to have s£x).

Assuming you aren't a troll, of course.

Yes, I've spoke too much. I just wanted to get that all out and see what people thought, but i can see the general consensus is that I am being irrational/stupid.

I do worry about her being pregnant. I hope that isn't the case
i do respect myself, i just made an idiotic mistake. I am sure you've made mistakes before in your life, when you were young and naive.

Also, no i am not a troll!!

Indie_Kid

You need to move on.

kingslayer

I agree somewhat. A part of me is saying "leave it be and move on" but another part of me really wants to know for sure, maybe even explain that i wanted to get to know her on a personal level, instead of just sexual. It is that feeling of not knowing that is driving me crazy at the moment. It is easy to say move on, but if you were in my head, it's confused beyond belief. I don't know. All i know is that i need some sleep and a look forward to a new day tomorrow. I have been worrying myself too much for one day, today.

jaylee3

Why the EFF has this gone to ELEVEN pages? OMG! It's a teen boy fantasising about bonking a middle aged woman. None of what he's saying is real.

Are people just humouring the Op for a laugh or something?

purpleshoes_2

jaylee3 wrote: »

Why the EFF has this gone to ELEVEN pages? OMG! It's a teen boy fantasising about bonking a middle aged woman. None of what he's saying is real.

Are people just humouring the Op for a laugh or something?

How do you know the OP is trolling? If other people think he isnt or even if they think he is, they still have the right to post.

Theres a few threads on this forum where I look and wonder how theyve lasted so long, but as long as they stay up, people can post and that's the way it should be.

Theres always the option of giving the thread a wide berth if you aren't happy with the content.

jaylee3

purpleshoes wrote: »

How do you know the OP is trolling? If other people think he isnt or even if they think he is, they still have the right to post.

Theres a few threads on this forum where I look and wonder how theyve lasted so long, but as long as they stay up, people can post and that's the way it should be.

Theres always the option of giving the thread a wide berth if you aren't happy with the content.

But why would I do that? It's hilarious.

To be honest, I don't know what's funnier; the daft fantasies that this teen boy is posting (or is it a middle aged man with the mentality of a teen boy?) OR the fact that people are actually being taken in by him and all the obvious bullpoo he is posting!

I thought people would have learned after the (fake) proposal thread.

FBaby

I think i need to take a break from thinking about all this and just chill the hell out. Thinking about all this is driving me mad. She hasn't replied to my text yet and that was last night I sent it!

I think you have some serious thinking to do about your choice of women. What did you really expect? You seem now all worried that she might not be so much into you and maybe be up to other things. That's what you get from agreeing to meet a woman you don't know at her house having sex with her without protection within hours. Only an easy woman would do that, any self-respecting would want to get to know you first.

Like others, I am convinced that this woman is only looking for your semen. She wants to have another child without ties, she is getting to the age when it is her last chance, so going for young healthy men. I expect you won't hear from her unless it didn't work that time. I bet when she is free to see you will happen to be when she is close to ovulation.

Don't be a fool. Even if the above isn't true, there are many women who do look for young men purely to get pregnant, either because they are desperately broody and feel time is running out, or because their youngest is about to turn 5 and they are on a mission to get pregnant because they are told they need to get their bum to the job centre.

BrassicWoman

FBaby wrote: »

That's what you get from agreeing to meet a woman you don't know at her house having sex with her without protection within hours. Only an easy woman would do that, any self-respecting would want to get to know you first.

OH NO! ITS THE DECLINE OF CIVILISATION!

A woman who enjoys no strings sex? THINKING FOR HERSELF AGAINST THE MORALITY POLICE??

It's Sodam and Gomorrah all over again!

Get off your woman hating high horse of judgement. Queen Victoria is no longer on the throne and would still be very disappointed with you if she was.

kingslayer

FBaby wrote: »

I think you have some serious thinking to do about your choice of women. What did you really expect? You seem now all worried that she might not be so much into you and maybe be up to other things. That's what you get from agreeing to meet a woman you don't know at her house having sex with her without protection within hours. Only an easy woman would do that, any self-respecting would want to get to know you first.

Like others, I am convinced that this woman is only looking for your semen. She wants to have another child without ties, she is getting to the age when it is her last chance, so going for young healthy men. I expect you won't hear from her unless it didn't work that time. I bet when she is free to see you will happen to be when she is close to ovulation.

Don't be a fool. Even if the above isn't true, there are many women who do look for young men purely to get pregnant, either because they are desperately broody and feel time is running out, or because their youngest is about to turn 5 and they are on a mission to get pregnant because they are told they need to get their bum to the job centre.

I never went there for sex, well not in my mind anyway. I went there with the notion that we were gonna spend some time together, chat and get to know each other. As soon as she met me at the door in a skimpy nightie, that's when I wondered that sex might be (or definitely will be) on the cards.

But I never went there with sex in mind at all. It would have been nice to get to know her on a personal level, which is what i wanted more. As soon as she poured me a drink and we sat in the lounge on the sofa, i felt pressure to start kissing her and then lead to sex. I should of said no, but i guess i was thinking it's one of the few chances she gets to be "fulfilled" and wanted to please her.

When someone tells you that they're looking for something serious, i expected us to actually get to know each other, especially after all that time we were talking after we first met.

If it was just for sex, why talk to me for nearly 3 months? Why not just say what you were after, if that is what you were after?

The thing is, because she seems shy, maybe she is embarrassed about what happened the other night. She does seem to get embarrassed easily and kept saying she didn't think I found her attractive, as much as to seek validation because she was lacking confidence/insecure about herself.

She has a job, though, so she says. She works nights until early mornings, so i don't see how she would feel the need to get pregnant to avoid work.

I really want to know what happened between her and her ex, as she only told me that her ex just !!!!!!ed off, which was the only explanation. That doesn't really make sense as her children are all between the ages of 11-16, so it's not like she's just given birth and her man doesn't want any part in the upbringing of the child.