I've got a date tonight, going to her place, but I'm quite nervous. Advice?

ifstar

kingslayer wrote: »

I am confused whether she used me or not. I have no idea and it's really frustrating, because I did actually want to get to know her more, and she also said she was looking for something more serious. My head is a bit spaced out right now as I have no idea what is going on with her, or what she's thinking about me etc.

You should probably send her a text proposing to her. She will appreciate that you want to do right by her and your new child.


Did you not mention that the three children (or teenagers) were all female? She maybe wants a job so thought that your young juices would help with that.

VestanPance

kingslayer wrote: »

I really hope not! Why would she do that anyway? I don't understand why she would want another child; she has three teenage children already.

Yeah, no woman in her 40's has ever decided this would be their last chance to have another child and gone out to get pregnant! Oh wait a minute.......

kingslayer

VestanPance wrote: »

When it comes to protection you have every bit as much say in as she does. Man the f*ck up and accept responsibility for your own dumb actions.

Secondly, she used you! Get a grip. You jumped into bed with her when by all accounts you knew nothing about her. You are either stupid beyond belief with no comprehension of your own actions, or a troll. I'm thinking troll.

I did know stuff about her, but I meant that i never knew about certain areas of her personal life that I should of maybe asked about to gain more insight. If she was just using me, why would she be so upset about seeing me on the site we met? cancelling on her three times? She could have just walked away and not responded. It doesn't make sense for someone to be so emotional about a person they never met. This is why I'm not sure about her psyche or what she wants. I was looking for something serious and so seemed to be the same for her too.

Heffi1

If you are going to be having sex with anyone then it is your own responsibility to wear protection, as much for your own safety as to respect your new partner.

You really don't get to call foul on this one, you are as much to blame as she is, she may want to take a risk with her sexual health, but that does not mean you have to.

Getting caught up in the moment is not going to help you, if you get an infection and remember some of them are pretty nasty and have long lasting effects.

Also I take it you are not ready to become a father, so put a condom on each and EVERY time you have sex with someone, until you have both been checked and given the all clear, and if you decide to start a family, those are the only occasions where not using protection is right.

The clue is in the word PROTECTION, it is to protect you from disease as well as prevent you from passing it on to someone else.

Before you decide to have sex with anyone else you should get tested to make sure you are disease free first.

And then you can continue and count yourself bloody lucky that you escaped.

To do anything else is extremely irresponsible.

DUTR

kingslayer wrote: »

I did know stuff about her, but I meant that i never knew about certain areas of her personal life that I should of maybe asked about to gain more insight. If she was just using me, why would she be so upset about seeing me on the site we met? cancelling on her three times? She could have just walked away and not responded. It doesn't make sense for someone to be so emotional about a person they never met. This is why I'm not sure about her psyche or what she wants. I was looking for something serious and so seemed to be the same for her too.

Seems like you don't know what crocodile tears are, used you? Perhaps the batteries were duff, perhaps she knows the older man is wiser, perhaps she knows you are naive enough . Only she would know.

sarah_ace1

If you're still interested in her as a person, ask her out ON A DATE. Somewhere neutral where you can talk and get to know her more.
There's no need to go to her place again if you feel uncomfortable and used

marisco_2

sarah_ace1 wrote: »

If you're still interested in her as a person, ask her out ON A DATE. Somewhere neutral where you can talk and get to know her more.
There's no need to go to her place again if you feel uncomfortable and used

Why would anyone in their right mind ask someone out on a date, who had left them feeling uncomfortable and used?

samwilzrhcp

kingslayer wrote: »

I did know stuff about her, but I meant that i never knew about certain areas of her personal life that I should of maybe asked about to gain more insight. If she was just using me, why would she be so upset about seeing me on the site we met? cancelling on her three times? She could have just walked away and not responded. It doesn't make sense for someone to be so emotional about a person they never met. This is why I'm not sure about her psyche or what she wants. I was looking for something serious and so seemed to be the same for her too.

Maybe she is ACTUALLY still a married woman to the father of her kids? He could have been working away, and she wanted something he isn't giving her (sex) for whatever reason? She got what she wanted and he's home for now and that's why she hasn't replied, yet.
Just a thought...

kingslayer

sarah_ace1 wrote: »

If you're still interested in her as a person, ask her out ON A DATE. Somewhere neutral where you can talk and get to know her more.
There's no need to go to her place again if you feel uncomfortable and used

I didn't feel uncomfortable once I was there. Yes, I have been feeling used, but I text her earlier to see how she was and what she was up to, she at least replied. I have just replied and asked if she wants to meet up when she's free. I would like to get to know her, but I'm wondering how many other guys she sleeps with beside me. I just don't know if she really wants something serious or just a human male toy.

purpleshoes_2

kingslayer wrote: »

I didn't feel uncomfortable once I was there. Yes, I have been feeling used, but I text her earlier to see how she was and what she was up to, she at least replied. I have just replied and asked if she wants to meet up when she's free. I would like to get to know her, but I'm wondering how many other guys she sleeps with beside me. I just don't know if she really wants something serious or just a human male toy.

Again, if you had waited to get to know one another before having sex you probably wouldn't be sitting feeling used. One of those it was ok at the time moments but not so good after.

Ask her what she wants. I find it unbelievable that you are sitting asking all these questions when all you need to do is talk to her about it.