please help 16 and pregnant

Poppie68

whodathunkit wrote: »

I don't think that young people generally get pregnant in order to claim benefits but, unless they're very naive, they'll know that they're available to bail them out if they make mistakes, which leads them to be careless and irresponsible.

Don't forget that the OP's daughter and bf were trying for a baby with not a penny of income between them so they would've known that someone else would pick up the financial pieces.

I don't know what to believe in this story....the OP seems to be tying herself into knots with seemingly long stretches of the truth...

Poppie68

flashnazia wrote: »

But in this case the op's daughter has quit learning and doesn't seem interested in her future which suggests poverty of aspiration. It doesn't look good for the future.

There are people who get pregnant purely by accident, keep the baby and do right by their kids but there are also women who get pregnant because they have nothing better to do and think it will improve their (worthless) lives.

Is that your description of someone who has most probably not had the correct guidance in life, or are these girls/women made to feel 'worthless' because of ignorant people making them feel this way? Then again the ignorant people have obviously not been given the correct guidance either!

Poppie68

margaretclare wrote: »

I won't get involved in all this, but...

I didn't think mother-and-baby units still existed. Historically, these existed to (a) avoid the 'shame' of the neighbours seeing the girl's advancing pregnancy and embarrassment to the parents and (b) facilitating adoption, so that the girl could go back home as if nothing had happened, without the baby. There were a lot of abuses of this system.

Thorsoak's last post made me smile. Yes, I recall the 'where's your evidence?' from university tutors. It becomes part of your psyche, part of the whole ethos of questioning and not accepting wild statements as the truth. I still tend to be very sceptical of anything uttered as if it was gospel, without any proof.

Yes mother and baby units still exsist. They are there to help young mums through late pregnancy and new parenthood, they offer classes, counselling and support. They also offer refuge from abuse, help with budgeting and maintaining a home and enable babies to be monitored more closely.

Poppie68

BillJones wrote: »

No, the problem with me, in your eyes, is that I expect you to live with the consequences oof your actions.

Fortunately I'm far from alone in that. I apply it to myself too, of course, and believe that, for better or worse, I need to try my best to stand on my own two feet.

Of course, the same people who demand on here that others not suffer for their decisions also want me to not benefit from mine, so at least they are consistent.

May I ask, this judgemental and spiteful attitude that you display above, how well is that serving you?

MY judgemental and spiteful attitude!!!
I'm not the one thinking they are clever by trying to belittle anothers posts because of a few spelling mistakes and then looking a fool. Maybe it will teach you to be more tolerant towards others and their mistakes.
If me pointing out your judemental and spiteful attitude makes me the same i'm glad i'm this side of both those adjectives!

redmalc

Yes i am being stereotypical,the vast majority will never work again,they can sit back and collect the benefits,and so will their children they will know no different.
I live on a new estate and one area is allocated to an housing association with a lot of young girls/Couples with one or two kids and one girl has three kids,she is possibly 20 years of age.
I am sure she will go to work,who are you kidding,they will be watching Sky Tv or texting people on their I phone 5 all day

seasideme

She's coming out of education and no talk of her going back at a later date. Even if she wanted to I can't see them allowing her much freedom.

My sister had a kid young, moved out, stayed at college, worked part time, got qualifications through work, went to uni and now has a career and owns two properties.

I thought a few years ago the government were talking about stopping young girls getting council properties and having to live in a share/supported type of environment or stay at home.

nannytone_2

BillJones wrote: »

You appear not to be much of a fan of education, but can't you see how bad a start in life it is to be born to someone who cares so little abut it that they follow this route?

You may not need to be able to write in your mother tongue to post here, but it is surely not a good idea to encourage it in others.

i'll ignore youre ignorance ...
'you appear to be not much of a fan a fan of education'... its funny how you chose to comment on this particular post, and yet ignore the one where i talk about my children, who were both academically gifted and have both worked full time since leaving school ( apart from my daughters maternity leave obviously)
bot earn sufficiently well to keep them above the limits for any benefit. ( my daughter receives cb still but my son does not)
i myself left school with 9 good grade O levels ( including english language and englis literature in case youre interested)
that was 1979, when the majority of children ;eft school at 16, a time when work was plentiful and , those of us that were bright, had a pick of jobs.
my blindness is the only reason that i am not working at the moment, and if an opportunity arose of employment, i would jump at it.
so this teen mother refuses to listen to your drivel.
we are not all as thick as 2 short planks
we can and do make very good parents
and our children dont lack ambition and drive!

Poppie68

redmalc wrote: »

Yes i am being stereotypical,the vast majority will never work again,they can sit back and collect the benefits,and so will their children they will know no different.
I live on a new estate and one area is allocated to an housing association with a lot of young girls/Couples with one or two kids and one girl has three kids,she is possibly 20 years of age.
I am sure she will go to work,who are you kidding,they will be watching Sky Tv or texting people on their I phone 5 all day

Wow.....your inside knowledge of these peoples lives is impressive....
How on earth do you know what is going on in their lives...maybe they are in college, maybe they work the thing is you and i don't know their circumstances but you allow your predujces to condemn all young mums with kids...

Do you look down your nose at them as you walk past or do you just cross the road to avoid them all together?

xylophone

I knew an intelligent and much loved young woman who walked out of her home when barely seventeen and went to live with a man who abused her.

She and the child returned home to her parents and with support and care, she reared the child, returned to education and is now a director of a high powered city firm........and in a secure and happy relationship.

redmalc

Poppie you have your left wing views, i have mine,but i am sure they are not in college because most of them are hanging around the local shops or in the pub at lunchtime spending their hard earned benefits or child support money.