please help 16 and pregnant

whodathunkit

nannytone wrote: »

this is 2014 not 1814!
an awful lot of young mothers raise children, whilst working and prosuce choldren who also work hard and achieve!
personally, i think they should remove the children from judgemental bigots and give them to 'decent; families

And an awful lot produce children who'll go on to live on benefits and repeat the cycle.

nannytone_2

why is it sad?

is it really worse for a child to be born into the catr of aa teenage mother who works hard, teaches their child to be tolerant, hardworking anddecent than it is to be born to a mother that is older but thinks everyone else exists to be pointed at and be held up as everything that is wrong with the word?
i was pregnant at 16 and had 2 children by the age of 20 ( yes, i married their father). at 28 i was a single mother who worked full time, paid my own rent and claimed no benefot apart from child benefit.
i lived in a supposedly deprived area of east london and yet my children acheibed academically and both went into full time employment after A levels.
they both now have families of their own and still work full time, as do their spouses.
their children are also thriving, both academically and as people. they are being taught to ve accepting of others and to work hard.
my sister, on the other hand wa 30 when she had her first child. she and her huisband owned their own home and he ran a successful printing business.
26 years on, her eldest is working part time, as is her partner. they have 1 child and another on the way and top up their earnings with tav bredits ( yes they are entitled) her son is 24 and hasnt had a job since leaving school.

obviously the teen mother is at fault!

Poppie68

redmalc wrote: »

Poppie i do not know where you live but i can assure you 16 year olds do get council houses or if not available some alternative housing paid for by the hard working sector if pregnant

'Paid for by the hard working sector'
I wonder how many of those 16 year old single mothers go on to be a hard working member of society, or are you stereotyping and believing just because they are young and with a child in tow they are worthless scroungers that will always be a burden on the state?

Poppie68

whodathunkit wrote: »

And an awful lot produce children who'll go on to live on benefits and repeat the cycle.

In all fairness alot of older new parents rely on the state to supplement their income or pay the way due to their choice of having a child or more children, adults make calculated choices and know the state will bail them out, I doubt money/benefits are anywhere in the thoughts of a 16 year old/young parent to be until the preaching starts from a parent/adult who is intent on telling them they are ruining their life!

thorsoak

redmalc wrote: »

Poppie i do not know where you live but i can assure you 16 year olds do get council houses or if not available some alternative housing paid for by the hard working sector if pregnant

A statement like this would evoke the response "WHERE'S YOUR EVIDENCE?" from one of my tutors when I was studying youth & community work, way back in the 1970s. If you can cite actual cases (obviously not naming names) then I might give your statement some credence.

Yes, it was the case in the early 1980s, which is when I think we started down the slippery slope - but it has not been the case since the late 90s.

margaretclare

I won't get involved in all this, but...

I didn't think mother-and-baby units still existed. Historically, these existed to (a) avoid the 'shame' of the neighbours seeing the girl's advancing pregnancy and embarrassment to the parents and (b) facilitating adoption, so that the girl could go back home as if nothing had happened, without the baby. There were a lot of abuses of this system.

Thorsoak's last post made me smile. Yes, I recall the 'where's your evidence?' from university tutors. It becomes part of your psyche, part of the whole ethos of questioning and not accepting wild statements as the truth. I still tend to be very sceptical of anything uttered as if it was gospel, without any proof.

flashnazia

Poppie68 wrote: »

'Paid for by the hard working sector'
I wonder how many of those 16 year old single mothers go on to be a hard working member of society, or are you stereotyping and believing just because they are young and with a child in tow they are worthless scroungers that will always be a burden on the state?

But in this case the op's daughter has quit learning and doesn't seem interested in her future which suggests poverty of aspiration. It doesn't look good for the future.

There are people who get pregnant purely by accident, keep the baby and do right by their kids but there are also women who get pregnant because they have nothing better to do and think it will improve their (worthless) lives.

whodathunkit

Poppie68 wrote: »

In all fairness alot of older new parents rely on the state to supplement their income or pay the way due to their choice of having a child or more children, adults make calculated choices and know the state will bail them out, I doubt money/benefits are anywhere in the thoughts of a 16 year old/young parent to be until the preaching starts from a parent/adult who is intent on telling them they are ruining their life!

I don't think that young people generally get pregnant in order to claim benefits but, unless they're very naive, they'll know that they're available to bail them out if they make mistakes, which leads them to be careless and irresponsible.

Don't forget that the OP's daughter and bf were trying for a baby with not a penny of income between them so they would've known that someone else would pick up the financial pieces.

BillJones

nannytone wrote: »

why is it sad?

is it really worse for a child to be born into the catr of aa teenage mother who works hard, teaches their child to be tolerant, hardworking anddecent

You appear not to be much of a fan of education, but can't you see how bad a start in life it is to be born to someone who cares so little abut it that they follow this route?

You may not need to be able to write in your mother tongue to post here, but it is surely not a good idea to encourage it in others.

Poppie68

BillJones wrote: »

You appear not to be much of a fan of education, but can't you see how bad a start in life it is to be born to someone who cares so little abut it that they follow this route?

You may not need to be able to write in your mother tongue to post here, but it is surely not a good idea to encourage it in others.

!




Another ignorant post........nannytone is blind....
The problem with people like you is presumtion is a lifestyle and ignorance is your 'mother tongue'.