please help 16 and pregnant

kerry13238

Desperately worried about my daughter. My daughter finished her gcse on Friday and is 16 she has the implant but was feeling sick a lot so I suggested just to be sure she did a pregnancy test. Her bf is 19 I won’t let her see him unsupervised but i work full time and couldn’t be sure that when im at work and she is at home in school holidays and when she goes to college that she wouldn’t see him and I was concerned that she may get pregnant.

This boy doesn’t work he is in full time education and lives with his dad in a one bed council flat my daughter when she did the pregnancy test it has come up positive and she has done several more. I have till her I feel that it would be best to terminate the pregnancy and carry on with her education but she refuses. I have said is she does want to do that I will her 100% but she is responsible for the baby as I have to work and earn to pay the mortgage and bills I have a son to support I do that myself with out help by working hard. I have a four bedroom house with plenty of room in a nice area with family around to support her.

My daughter says her and her bf are going to support the baby and his dad is going to the council to ask for a 3 bed house for them is this possible? She thinks she can get income support and his dad says he can get child tax credits and child benefit for his as he is going to stay in full time education and work from 7 till 11 Mon to fri for £20 a night.

I called the council they said they won’t help as she has a home to go to but the boy says they are telling him different and she won’t listen to me.


Please please help I need some advice desperately

kerry13238

she is coming out of education. can his dad claim for them as she is 16 and i will house her and the baby? x

kerry13238

even if im still her legal gardian? the bf didnt meet the attendance standards for last year in college so he may not be able to go back to college and if he does it will only be till september any courses started after his 19th birthday dont count is that right? thank you so much

duchy

Likewise if she stayed with you- and she remained in education -depending on your income you may be able to continue to claim CB for her and child tax credit (and maybe even some childcare costs).


Does she WANT to move in with her boyfriend at his Dad's ? Would you consider the boyfriend moving in with your family ?


The council are unlikely to rehouse the Dad in a larger property until after the baby is born and she'll need to have been living there a while. Three adults and a baby in a one bedroom doesn't sound like a great start. Trying to study in that environment sounds like a nightmare- and who will care for the baby whilst both kids are at colleges? BF's Dad ?


I'd talk to the housing department yourself about options with your daughter and then lay out all the option and discuss with her what is the most workable.


EDIT It doesn't matter who her legal guardian is-it depends on who she is living with. If she is living at BF's Dad's then you can't claim for her.


This seems to my cynical mind as a good way for Dad and BF to get out of a one bedroom flat and into a three bed. If things don't work out they'll still have the house even if she ends up back living with you.


I suppose if BF isn't going back to college he'll be working to support his new family and could rent privately though.

Poppie68

Your daughter will be able to claim for income support, child benefit, tax credits, healthy start vouchers and also qualify for the sure start grant which is £500 and is intended to pay towards items for the baby. Your daughter needs to make an appointment with your GP or midwife asap, as she is under 18 you will be expected to accompany her. If she intends to go onto college she will be able to claim from the Care to Learn to help pay for childcare.

kerry13238

i spoke to the council they said they wont provide a house if lauren has a home to go to im worried sick. i cant see the council just giving them a house there are waiting lists arnt there?

Housing_Benefit_Officer

The Boyfriends dad seems to have things quickly sorted out to get himself a 3 bedroom house. This will be his house not your daughter's so at any time she could find herself homeless if she was ever kicked out.

Does your daughter want to live with her boyfriend and his father? Is she being rushed into moving out?

Poppie68

No the council won't provide your daughter with a house while she has somewhere else to live, what she can do is put her name down on the housing list but she will have to be prepared to wait years to be offered one.
Do you want her to move out?? A 16 year old will need alot of help and support with a baby no matter what they think. My daughter was 22 and was still living at home when she had her baby she says the help, support and company helped her get through the sleepless nights and for our part was a joy to see our grandaughter daily and watch her grow.

duchy

kerry13238 wrote: »

My daughter says her and her bf are going to support the baby

Really ?
Is she going to get a job as well as study and care for the child ?
Or does she just mean that she thinks the state will throw money at them?
She's only sixteen - maybe time to explain to her how finances work. She may not be quite so keen then.
How long has she been with the boyfriend ? Did they have plans for the future ?


I'd be tempted to borrow one of those crying baby dolls schools use to show teens just what it is like to look after a baby 24/7 and suggest she spends 24 hours locked in the flat with BF and Dad with it and see how they all get on


How family orientated is the Dad-Is he genuinely thrilled or just seeing better housing in his future? (after up to a year of 3 plus baby squashed in a one bedroom and needing to pressure your daughter to stay rather than move back to you as it'll drop them down the housing list).

kerry13238

the bf hasnt met the required attendance at college last year so wont be aloud back to college this year. i am happy for my daughter to come home and the baby but i will not let her bf move in i have plenty of room and will do what i can.

my daughter has been told by the bf and the bf dad that the council will give them a 3 bedroom house and they can live there and he will carry on claiming tax credits and cb for the 19 year old son.

my daughter can come home any time im just not going to take on the responsibility for her bf.

the bf says he will go to college full time and work in the evenings but as he cant even manage 85% attendance at college i cant see how he will manage this. my daughter will be alone all the time with a baby but she wont listen to anyone but him

kerry13238

Ah ok sorry I'm not thinking straight so worried for her