please help 16 and pregnant

Housing_Benefit_Officer

blondebubbles wrote: »

This is the part that I am explaining on my other posts. If your daughter moves in with her bf and his dad and she isn't in education, the dad can no longer claim tax credits for his son.

But if the daughter moves in aged 16 and in education would the boyfriends father be able to claim Child Benefit and Child Tax Credit for her?

Poppie68

It doesn't sound like an appropriate place for your daughter and baby to live, it seems the father has seen a way to not only bag himself a 3 bedroom tax paid home but also carry on claiming CB and TC .

You need to make your home and yourself as welcoming as possible to your daughter..she is pregnant now and nothing is going to change that so the sooner you learn to accept the situation the better. The BF doesn't seem to be much of a catch and she has her rose tinted glasses on...this will soon change if he doesn't pull his weight when the baby is here. You will need to open your house though to the BF as he has his rights to the baby and fighting against things you can't win will only be the sure fire way of causing future grief and long term troubles.
We weren't totally overjoyed at our 21 being pregnant i felt sick and worried for her, but as she was on the pill and suffers from fibriods and ovarian cysts we realised this baby was a blessing. We are lucky to have 5 bedrooms and decorated a nursery and we welcomed our beautiful grand daughter with all our heart.
Get your daughter to see a midwife asap, there are special schemes for young mums also the midwife will give your daughter any benefit forms that are needed and give her some basic advice on claiming!

Just remember it's not the end of the world....it's just another human being!

kerry13238

She is coming out of education

kerry13238

blondebubbles wrote: »

Yes if she stayed in education then the dad could claim tax credit for his son, the OPs daughter and the baby.

However the OP said her daughter would to be staying in education.

I don't know if child benefit rules are the same.

Daughter coming out of education baby dad staying in education if college will have him back

fabforty

Unless you are prepared to say that you daughter cannot remain living with you (effectively making her homeless), the Council will see moving into an already overcrowded one bedroom flat as a cynical attempt by the father to get a bigger property. The baby will not be counted until he/she is born, so they would have to be prepared to live together in that flat for a while - until a suitable property could be found and that could take years. Does she really want to do that?


I might be being unfair, but it sounds as if b/f and his dad have figured out how this situation can benefit them, without giving your daughter or the baby much thought. Otherwise they (his dad anyway) would not even consider suggesting that she move in with them. Even assuming that the b/f and father are perfectly nice people, at 16 with a new baby, your daughter should be in your home. Being pregnant does not mean that she is ready to play house. She will need help and support and personally I would make living at home with you the sensible more inviting option. Make her b/f welcome, let him spend as much time as he wants visiting and being there for the baby - you can even let him sleep over (on the sofa).


Perhaps you need to meet his father and talk to him face to face.

kerry13238

My daughters bf said to me a few months ago do I think he would be a good dad I said no as they were to young and my daughter needs to go to college get a job etc. and live a bit. I was told 2 months ago by one of her friends that they were trying for a baby hence why I suggested the implant in return they could see each other unsupervised.

The flat they live in got raided for drugs a few months ago and it’s not a safe environment for my daughter or my grandchild.

I had my daughter at 18 and she keeps saying to me well you managed but me and her dad had jobs and bought a house 2 months after and supported ourselves. Two years later however he left and didn’t see her or our son for 7 years and I had to find a way to manage.

Having him stay over won’t work we live 10 miles away and he can’t get here without lifts a lot of the time unless someone picks him up.

Im due to start a new job this week and I will have to work a lot of hours and I have my son to think of as well and I can’t be chasing around after him support her and my son and a baby. he will have to make his own way and my worry is what if this happens again and there are two babies i dont want him staying over night.

kerry13238

im meeting with the dad tonight and the babies dad. the babies dad has refused to talk to me so far

pmlindyloo

This is my personal view.

You might have to take a back seat on this one.

At the moment it seems as if your daughter wants to make a go of it with the baby's father. To be honest, I suspect that she is viewing this all through rose coloured glasses.

However, given her age the more you tell her it's not going to work the more she will dig her heels in.

What I am going to say next is going to be very difficult for you because you are older, worldly wise and very concerned about your daughter and your grandchild.

You need to be very calm and say that there is a home for her and her baby and the father will be welcome to visit at any time (I know, I know!)

If you can make it non threatening then you may have a chance of keeping your daughter with you. No one can predict the future and, you never know, parenthood might change the boyfriend completely.

The danger is you stand a big risk of alienating your daughter (and therefore your grandchild) by putting out all the difficulties they might face. They will not see it that way. They are teenagers and basically 'have no idea' and will not understand until they have the baby and try supporting themselves.

You must 'keep the door open' for your daughter and going at it 'hammer and tongs' with any of them may drive your daughter away.

thorsoak

kerry13238 wrote: »

the bf hasnt met the required attendance at college last year so wont be aloud back to college this year. i am happy for my daughter to come home and the baby but i will not let her bf move in i have plenty of room and will do what i can.

my daughter has been told by the bf and the bf dad that the council will give them a 3 bedroom house and they can live there and he will carry on claiming tax credits and cb for the 19 year old son.

my daughter can come home any time im just not going to take on the responsibility for her bf.

the bf says he will go to college full time and work in the evenings but as he cant even manage 85% attendance at college i cant see how he will manage this. my daughter will be alone all the time with a baby but she wont listen to anyone but him

If the b/f and father are so certain that they would qualify for a 3-bedroomed house once she moved in and had the baby - why are they still in a 1-bedroomed flat? Sounds as if someone is planting dreams in your daughter's head

In any case, am I right in thinking that as your daughter is now 16+ she comes under the legal requirement to be in full-time education until she is 18?

It might be worth talking to the local education authority to find out what resources there are in your area for her to continue her education.

duchy

Having a baby doesn't mean she has to leave education.

Part of me would be tempted to let her try living at theres for a couple of weeks . A good dose of reality might be just what she needs.