please help 16 and pregnant

Poppie68

margaretclare wrote: »

If it's 'less affluent' how can smoking and/or drugs be afforded?

They live in a 1-bedroom flat. These flats are designed for single people i.e. the dad on his own. Dad has managed to squeeze in his son but is proposing also to squeeze in a teenage girl and her baby? And surround the whole lot with second-hand smoke? This is not a 'double standard'. This is appalling. Before anyone starts, I know poverty. I grew up in it. This is not acceptable behaviour in the 21st century.

One poster though this is a better enviroment for the baby to live...smoke, drugs and drugs raid...oh and lets not forget the young father to be has got an arson charge..better than the mum to be moving back home to her mum, because mum asked her to consider an abortion.
Each to their own i suppose!

kerry13238

i told dd i would tell the council everything i know as i wanted to ensure they knew she had a home with me and had not been kicked out of anything.

our relationship was good till she met this boy who i didn't like because he was on bail for arson and got in fights ect so i banned her from seeing him tried everything but she seems to think what he says is gospel and has completely changed. i asked her friend if my dd was happy at home and she said yeah i think she feels you spend to much time at work and she wants to see bf more and i would only allow supervised and also that her bro is a bit of a handful and she feels she gets no time.

we still got on well but he was always the sticking point. he has told me for over a year as soon as she is 16 i cant do anything to stop them moving out together.

i think my ex has effected her a lot but she refuses counselling ans says she is fine but sometimes the people who need the counselling the most are the ones that don't think they need it.

dealer_wins

Poor baby, not going to have a good start in life health or outlook wise.

It seems the boyfriend and his father just see the baby as an income source rather than someone to love, cherish, and enjoy.

And unfortunately the young, naive mother to be cant see any of this!

Mojisola

dealer_wins wrote: »

Poor baby, not going to have a good start in life health or outlook wise.

It seems the boyfriend and his father just see the baby as an income source rather than someone to love, cherish, and enjoy.

And unfortunately the young, naive mother to be cant see any of this!

And if this is the case, they're not going to let her stop at one child - more children, more money.

thorsoak

kerry13238 wrote: »

When I spoke to the council I expressed my concern yesterday that my dd was molested when she was 11 by my ex partner and she forms unhealthy relationships with adult males.

I told them she mistakes control for love as she saw me go through a relationship like that previously. I found out that when they were trying for a baby she told a friend she was thinking about going back on the pill secretly. Why do that unless he had some hold over her?

The council officer said boys dad and my dd had said they don't want me to be given any information about what's going on why would my dd do that if the truth is being told?

I mentioned about how smoky the flat was and that my dd is on the sofa not in a bed really the boys dad should give up his bed for her council officer agreed.


I mentioned the boy is working full time they were not aware of that. The council officer said when she met my dd she seemed very nieive unrealistic and young for her age. She said cause of the drugs raid she was going to report it to social services but she wanted to get what I know first.

I told her my dd refuses a plastic baby or to care for her 2 year old half brother at her dads.

Have you spoken again to the school - or have they got back to you yet? Reading this post makes me feel that you really should get Social Services involved.

..honestly - computers - wrote another couple of paragraphs, but they've disappeared!

What I had said was that your daughter seems to me to be a very vulnerable young lady, who might not be coping with the abuse as well as she thinks she is - understandably she will want to block it out, and may sub-consciously link you with the abuse (although I realise that this is not the case) - and she should be monitored even if she refuses counsellling, just to ensure that she stays safe - and importantly, that her baby is safe.

jimmy2times

could they not move into a new flat and then claim housing benefits etc?

whodathunkit

Mojisola wrote: »

And if this is the case, they're not going to let her stop at one child - more children, more money.

Bigger house!

kerry13238

Update i took my dd away friday night had a good time went shopping saturday. She is coming home tonight the bf went clubbing last night where they money came from i dont know?? She has asked her dad if after she has been at mine for a week can she goes to him for a week so its sounding like things are not a good as she is claiming at the bf house.

Another thing i thought of is his mum was claiming dla for him up until a year ago when he turned 18 as he has add adhd and something else that means he cant take orders. he smashes her house up ect so all that must be on record to claim dla as you have to renew every year arnt you?

shegar

Thats what I said to you in my post, let her go live with him and she will soon come back to you , best way , as she as now found out things arnt too rosy there.......Dont run him down to her ,say very little about him....Good luck....

kerry13238

Thanks so much for everyone's help and support it's been a god send xxxx